tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-13596397924819813632024-02-21T05:42:21.381-06:00EDGE-X"This is a trustworthy saying, and everyone should accept it: “Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners”—and I am the worst of them all. But God had mercy on me so that Christ Jesus could use me as a prime example of his great patience with even the worst sinners. Then others will realize that they, too, can believe in him and receive eternal life." --1 Timothy 1:15-17Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.comBlogger99125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-49163015367840843392014-07-07T21:05:00.003-05:002014-07-07T21:05:44.112-05:00Syndrome<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey everyone,</div>
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I am writing tonight with a heavy heart. Currently, I am at
a Christian pre-teen camp (meaning, we have about 150 kids aged 7 to 13 here) working
with some of the young people who will make up the future of America—but not
just America, but the world. I word it that way for a reason: I really worry
about these kids. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Today, children move so quickly—and I don’t mean physically,
but their entire lives. Mostly, that is the environment in which they were
thrust. With everything working so quickly now, we can’t blame our children for
expecting things so quickly. They get out of school, then go to practice for
piano, only to come home, change into soccer clothes, and then go to soccer practice
right after, stopping at McDonald’s along the way to get something to eat. They
are owning phones at earlier and earlier ages, allowing them to connect with
friends instantly when they are not physically present. Many of those phones
have internet capability, with near-instant access to whatever information they
so desire—good or bad. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Granted, I am a huge proponent of technology. We are a
Windows family, with my wife and I having Windows Phones, my tablet, her
laptop, and our family desktop all talking to each other and sharing
information wirelessly between them. I find the networking amazing and utilize
it to the best of my ability (and its capability). So understand that when I
say the things I am about to say, I am not saying them with the voice of a
bitter old man who wishes for the “good ol’ days when everything was so simple
and we didn’t have all this techy nonsense!” I embrace technology and want to
teach our children to use it properly. <o:p></o:p></div>
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However, I’m seeing a trend with kids today. They are so
plugged into virtual life and all the consequences that it brings (both good
and bad) that they are missing out on <i>life.
</i>With instant access to anything, they only grasp a surface level
understanding of the topic and then think they know about it. With friends,
they are communicating mostly through text, which cannot hold anything substantial
for a prolonged period of time. Without intonation and body languages, a
simple, “Where are you?” can range from a heated, “Where are you so I can come
beat the crap out of you!” to an “I have some of the most exciting news to tell
you! Where are you?” <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sure, emoticons and longer texting can substitute occasionally
for the miscommunication problem, but it doesn’t fix the problem of
surface-level life. That’s what I think I am calling the “disease” many young
people face: Surface-Level Life Syndrome. Kids today are only focusing on the
immediate, what they can grab instantly, and what immediately gratifies their
interests. Just watch a kid next time they surf YouTube. Count the number of
seconds they wait before jumping to the next video either because it isn’t
loading or because they become bored with it. (Obviously, this is an exception
for kids who are not often exposed to electronics.) <o:p></o:p></div>
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It also comes out in conversations. I honestly cannot
remember the last time I had a deep talk with a youth about things that really
matter. Sure, I have gone on for hours about Yugioh, Pokemon, and other various
movies or TV shows. I have discussed martial arts, dodgeball, and HvZ with
dozens of kids. But none of these are substantial. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I looked out tonight during the invitation after the pastor
gave his alter call. He clearly lined out the gospel and how to get saved. He
encouraged kids to come forward to make a commitment. He even stressed the emphasis
of making such a decision. Nothing. Not a single kid responded. A few came up
for prayer. That was it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Hear me out, I am not one who is big on alter calls. I
believe that a changed life is a much better indicator of actual commitment to
Jesus than a prayer. I believe alter calls should be handled extremely
carefully as to not sway someone into making an emotional decision. I can’t
stand emotional manipulation to get people to commit to something they really
know nothing about. <o:p></o:p></div>
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On the other hand, I also believe in the power of alter
calls. I believe that psychologically, people will remember that moment forever,
and some people need a mental anchor to cling to when making life changing
decisions. I actually encourage alter calls for that reason. <o:p></o:p></div>
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But tonight? Nothing. Granted, I have no idea what went on
inside the hearts of those kids. I don’t know what God is working on within
them. I never base how well a sermon went by an alter call. But this night was
different. It made me unsettled. It made me sad because it pointed out
something: for the last few weeks I have been at camp, it’s really been the
same thing. Nobody has responded to anything, really. Not that I have noticed. <o:p></o:p></div>
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What bugs me is that I see it on their faces. As I look
around during and after the sermon, I see a few people intently listening. Most
are either stone-faced or zoning out not paying attention. Some are obviously
bored and have no problem showing it. The first group and the last group I expect,
for that happens in every public speech ever given. However, it’s the stone-faced
and zoned-out ones that worry me. It is like they are hearing, but not
listening. They hear what the guy is saying, but are not applying to
themselves. <o:p></o:p></div>
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That’s another symptom of Surface-Life Syndrome: disregard
for anything they don’t really want to hear. I understand that is just part of
being a kid, but it goes deeper than that. It is a selfish mindset people place
themselves into where only they matter. In their own world, they are fine and
content, and can do whatever they want. I actually heard a person leaving the
sanctuary say, “I am the best Christian of all Christians who has ever
Christian-ed.” While the comment was made in jest, I wonder how much of it
rings true in the hearts of young people. <o:p></o:p></div>
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My problem is that kids today don’t seem to want more. They
have everything. They have nothing to aspire to. I saw this surface within my
generation as they approached college. When asking someone what they wanted to
do with their life, many responded with, “I don’t know… I guess go to college…”
They had no aspirations to be anything. Or, they had so many aspirations they
didn’t know which one to pursue. Most times, if they had any aspirations, they
were dramatically different. “I was thinking about being an aerospace engineer
or a vet.” It is great to have dreams, but sometimes it is best to just pick
one and pursue it with your whole being. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Outside of a Christian context, of the kids I am working with
at school, I see no desire to be better, to go deeper, or to work harder. They
are happy the way things are. I’m not saying that is a bad place to be at, but
you can’t stay there. With no motivation and no goal, people waste away. There is
a huge difference between being content with life and thinking everything is
perfect the way it is. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I hope these kids go deeper. I pray they find something that
tugs on their hearts and makes them want to be better. Personally, I wish it
was God they sought. I know many of my unchristian friends disagree with that.
I respect their opinions, but that’s still where my heart is. <o:p></o:p></div>
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I want to see kids yearn for God. I want them to realize
their life can be so much better when they surrender what they want to him. He
can make their life more abundant. No, it won’t be perfect, but it will be so
much deeper. It will have meaning. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Sadly, I don’t think kids are coming to grips with anything that
has meaning anymore. That breaks my heart. I wish they found meaning. I wish
they saw that life was so much more than just the facts on the internet or the
casual conversations they have with their friends. I wish they saw life was
more than food and video games. I wish they saw that life was more than being
the best on the football team or impressing the girl down the hall. There is a
much deeper world out there if they will simply open their minds to it. <o:p></o:p></div>
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That is my prayer for the young people of this generation. I
hope it is yours as well. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Follow</div>
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ing his call, </div>
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Adam</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-39869545678427326352013-10-28T23:15:00.000-05:002013-10-28T23:15:46.144-05:00Perseverance Hey everyone,<br />
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It's been a long time since I have written on here. I haven't forgotten about you, but as many of you are aware, life happens. And, boy, has life happened! I've had some ups and downs, but overall, all I have to say is that God reigns over all and that he deserves all the praise.<br />
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I'm going to start from where I left off. Some of you may have known that I was dating a girl at the time of my last post. Some of you may not have known this at all. I ended up proposing to that girl on Christmas of last year. About five months later, we were happily married.<br />
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Being married has been so good for me. People have told me that they have noticed something different about me ever since I have been married. I've been happier. I have had a spring in my step. I've been more friendly and cordial with people. God has blessed us financially and we have been doing well.<br />
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Granted, we had some bumps along the way, with jobs not panning out, school work getting too hard, and sickness. We managed to get through and praise God through it all. Everything seemed to be panning out... until about three weeks ago...<br /><br />It all started when our dryer's heating element went out. I figured, eh, no big deal, I could replace it. While I was working on securing a relatively inexpensive heating element, we get a phone call from the mechanic we left our car with. A few days before, my wife's car was making some weird noises, so we sent it to the shop. The mechanic said that the transmission was totally out on the car, and it was way more money for us to fix, making the repairs equivalent of what the car was worth. <br /><br />While we are deciding on what to do with the car, my brother brings the computer I loaned him to my house because the power supply went out on it. I try working on my laptop to order the new part, only to realize my laptop is no longer holding a charge.<br /><br />In the midst of all of this, I head to work the next day. About a week has passed up to this point. As soon as I get in--I haven't even taken my coat off yet, I am informed that I have not been handling a situation the way one of my supervisors would like me to handle it. It frustrated me, because I love my job and I thought I had been doing so well. It was really heartbreaking to hear that I hadn't been doing it right.<br /><br />On top of all of this, my ministry has been particularly stressful. I have some youth who have been super stressed and have been coming to me for help. I relish in helping these guys! I love that I can be the person who can direct them to Jesus and show them what next steps they should take. Nothing feels more fulfilling than serving youth as Jesus served his disciples. I love doing it! Yet, it is also stressful and puts an additional load on top of everything trying to help bear their burdens as well.<br /><br />So, I begin trying to cross things off my list: I fix the computer for my brother, I fix my laptop, and then... my phone goes out. The antenna on my phone simply stops working. I cannot receive or send calls or texts. One more thing! Great! So, we begin the process of getting another phone.<br /><br />The phone was to be delivered on Tuesday of last week. It never showed. I come home Wednesday--no package. I called, and they said they couldn't find it. Thursday, they called and said they had delivered it to the wrong address and were on their way.<br /><br />I finally got the phone. Okay. The computer is fixed. I send it with my brother. My laptop is fixed. We end up deciding to sell the car for scrap. It was not the best choice, but about the only one open up to us right now. Things start to look up. I can start to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Or so I think...<br /><br />My brother calls me back. Now, the graphics card went out on the computer. <i>Oh well, easy fix, </i>I think. He drops it off and I begin working on it.<br /><br />Then the worst happens... We get a phone call... I had just gotten out of the shower when my wife comes in, her face red, tears pouring down her face, holding the phone, and screams in an barely understandable voice, "She's dead! Mom died this morning!"<br /><br />"What?!" I scream back, embracing her. And we cry together. And we cry. And we cry some more. (And I am crying now writing this.) It was the absolute worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. I have had some dramatically crazy things happen to me, and I have been very emotional, but never like this. I have been haunted ever since by that feeling of first finding out that someone you love so deeply has died; it is a horror that has been coming back into my mind over and over again over the past day or so.<br /><br />Her mother had been battling cancer for about two years, and while it had taken a turn for the worse, death still seemed a long way off. She was just switching treatments and things were starting to look up. So the phone call took us totally by surprise. We had just Skyped her two days before. She seemed tired, but other than that, she looked fine, especially for someone with cancer.<br /><br />And now I'm here, sitting in her parents house, composing this message with the funeral two days away, thinking a lot about the past three weeks. And crying. There has been a lot of that the past day or so. More importantly, I am thinking about the past year and all I have been through. I have been through so much.<br /><br />I feel like Job. Everything seems to be going wrong. Life is stressful. We have problem after problem after problem come our way. I felt like every phone call, every email, every text message was just another harbinger bringing the next set of bad news: that my cattle had been all killed by invaders or that a windstorm had destroyed my flocks.<br /><br />But then I remembered something. Before I can really play the victim; before I can play martyr for how crappy life has been, I need to remember what I <i>do</i> have. I still have my jobs. I still have my health. I still have my wife and she still has her jobs. We have an apartment and a way to get around. We are still insanely blessed. We have family. We have friends. And we have a great church.<br /><br />Most of all, we have a great God. He has been with us the entire time, through the good and the bad of this past year. It is easy to go to one extreme or the other in these kinds of situations: either ignore God in the good and only come to him in the bad like he is some cosmic vending machine that you insert prayers into and out pops the answer you wanted, or we celebrate with God with the good and blame him for all the bad. Yet, it was not his fault in any of this. He has been with us helping us through all of it.<br /><br />As I sit here and I think about my mother-in-law, I have to smile through the tears. She had a very close relationship with Jesus. She was always challenging us to grow closer to God and was constantly telling us the things the Holy Spirit was teaching her. Even when she was sick, she treated it with joy, joking about the funny things that would happen along the way.<br /><br />Now, I know for a fact that she is doing Zumba down the golden streets with Jesus, totally healed and happier than I can even imagine.<br />
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Although it pains me so much that she isn't here with me right now, I'm glad to know she is no longer in pain. Selfishly, I want her here. I want her to see her grandbabies. I want to sit down with her for coffee (while I drink tea, of course) and listen to her funny stories as she recounts her life before Christ and how much God has changed her. I miss her laugh. I miss her happiness with life. I miss the way she would sing off-key in the kitchen and not even care. I miss the way she kind of danced when she thought nobody was looking. Selfishly, I miss her. But I know she is truly happy now.<br /><br />This time, is a time for grieving. Yes, life has been insanely hard for my wife and I, but we have a great God who can help us through it all. All we have to do is persevere.<br /><br /><b>persevere</b> /ˌpərsəˈvi(ə)r/ (verb) 1. continue in a course of action even in the face of difficulty or with little or no prospect of success.<br />
<br />We have to go through grieving. We have to mourn. We have to cry. We have to let life happen and move on through it all. Life is tough. <br /><br />It is not about asking, "Why did this happen?" but more of, "Where do I go from here?" And for us, the only way to go is forward in the face of adversity--to strive forward even though it will be difficult. We persevere.<br /><br />Following His Call,<br />AdamAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-67852821888528380392012-11-02T10:55:00.003-05:002012-11-02T10:55:55.063-05:00ComplaintsHey everyone!<br /><br />I know it has been a while since I have written on here, so I am going to try to get back into the habit of writing again.<br />
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Since this is the month of Thanksgiving, I thought of this brilliant idea to be intentionally thankful for something each day. I wrote up a thankful Facebook post and pressed, "Post." Feeling rather proud of myself for thinking of such a good idea, I started scrolling down my newsfeed to see what was going on in the world, considering I haven't been on Facebook in a while. What I discovered was that my "original idea" wasn't all that original. After the sixth post about being thankful this month for something new each day, I was humbled pretty quickly. *sigh* God always has a way of doing that to me.<br /><br />Don't get me wrong: I honestly didn't write that post to get attention or start a trend. I legitimately feel God telling me I should be thankful this month for something new each day; to really dwell on and appreciate whatever comes to my mind.<br />
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I think that this sudden feeling of thankfulness is the result of two things in my life:<br /><br />First, God has been insanely blessing me since I have graduated. I feel like I have done absolutely nothing to deserve the wonderful treatment I have been getting from people. People at my church and my job have been so overwhelmingly friendly to me. God has been blessing my ministry. All of my bills have been covered. I am going to grad school. I have a beautiful girlfriend who lives only two minutes away! My life could not be better at this point. And there is nothing I have done to deserve it. I haven't worked hard to get to where I am. (I mean, I have worked hard, but my hard work doesn't correlate to people's nice behavior or my girlfriend being so close.) I have simply been given so many wonderful gifts that I do not deserve.<br /><br />Secondly, a resurgence of complaining has seemed to arise recently. I don't know if complaining has actually increased in the past few weeks or if I have become more sensitive to the already existent complaints, but either way, I am hearing it more now than I did a few weeks ago.<br /><br />The act of complaining has had a unique experience in my life. I understand its necessity at times, but I also believe that it is unproductive and more harmful than good. I have done my fair share of complaining, but every time I do, I can always hear God in the back of my mind, raising his eyebrow, stating, "Really? You think you deserve better? Do you realize what I go through each day?" I'm definitely not perfect in this respect. By all means, I complain every day; many times I do not realize that I am doing it until I hear that still, small voice in the back of my mind. For some reason, I am extra sensitive to it, especially from others.<br />
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Most complaints I have heard involve health and jobs. From these, I determined what bugs me about complaining: unproductiveness.<br />
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Let's look at jobs for a minute. I am very thankful for the jobs I have right now, and I will be the first to admit that God has insanely blessed me in this area. I do understand not everyone is blessed in this way. Some people are stuck in their job, either locked in by contract for a set amount of time, or because there simply are not other jobs available. My heart goes out to these people because I have been in their shoes. Back in high school, I needed a job to help pay off my car. I took the only job I could get: a janitor at my high school. I'm sorry, I was a "sanitations engineer." As I'm sure many of you are familiar with, putting a nicer title on it doesn't make the job any more glamorous. It also doesn't stop the ridicule you get from your classmates as you walk by with a huge vacuum pack on your back carrying a long vacuum wand. I took out trash, cleaned up bathrooms, and vacuumed up junk people threw down in the hallway. I think one of my favorite discoveries was a half-eaten cheeseburger shoved in between the seats in our theater. Judging by it's texture and smell, it had been there for several weeks. It was... delightful....<br />
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Did I complain? Absolutely! I grumbled in my head everyday about stupid high schoolers and their blatant disrespect for other people's property (even though, I, too, was a high schooler). The thought crossed my mind several times to reverse the flow of the vacuum and shove the hose into the vents at the top of each locker and just let the dust and gunk flow into their belongings, but I never did. Obviously, the Holy Spirit scolded me for that one.<br />
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Through all of this wonderfully glamorous work, God was teaching me something: I am in a service job. It is MY JOB to serve others and pick up stuff after people. It is MY JOB to clean up junk left around. So... I was complaining about something I was REQUIRED to do. Where was the logic in that? Sure, it was gross, but it came with the job. Where did I get the idea that I was suddenly above this; that I deserved better? Did I really deserve better? Because I was smarter, did that make me a better person? Because I was an intellectual, did that mean that I shouldn't have to stoop so low and do the work of a "lower person"? Because I was the top of my class, did that mean people should respect me and not laugh at me as I walked by?<br />
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I was reminded of a story in the Bible that I am sure many of us are familiar with. Back in the days of the Roman empire, most everyone walked where they needed to go. Only the rich could afford transportation like horses or donkeys. Note that the roads people traveled on were the same roads that the horses and donkeys traveled on. Also note that people back then did not have boots or even shoes, but wore sandals. (Many of you already know where I am going with this, but slow down and bear with me. Really think about the implications of what I am going to say next.) On the last night Jesus was alive (before he rose again), he stooped down, took off his outer robe, and washed his disciples feet--the same feet that had been walking though the dirt, mud, and poop along the road for miles and miles. People also didn't take showers back then. They didn't have toenail clippers. They didn't have medicine for things like athletes foot or blisters. Feet back then were probably the most disgusting part of a person's body, and THE CREATOR OF THE UNIVERSE bowed down and rubbed his hands all over their nasty feet to serve them and clean them up.<br />
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Think about it.<br />
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Did Jesus once complain? Did he once think that he was better than them? Of all people, Jesus had the right to demand this job was beneath him. He was the intellectual of all intellectuals. He was the smartest person alive (even if you don't believe him to be God, the man started a movement that altered the course of history--that's pretty intelligent to me).<br />
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This comes to my mind every time I hear a complaint. This has caused a problem for me. People will come to me complaining about their jobs like they deserve to be treated better, and I don't know what to tell them. They are seeking comfort and justification: "Yes! You do deserve more! You are worth so much more! You are smarter than your boss! You are a better worker than everyone else at your job! You are smarter than this multi-billion dollar company! You do know how to run the company better than everyone else above you!" The arrogance that filters through in the complaints rub me wrong. It makes me uncomfortable. I shift in my seat, not knowing what to say.<br />
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"Adam, can you believe they make us wear these stupid hats at work?! They don't even serve a purpose!"<br /><i>Actually, they do... You work food service. By law, you are required to cover your head in preparation of food...</i><br />
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"Adam, the customers at the store treat me horribly! They have no respect for people in my position!"<br /><i>Well, yes they don't. I really feel for you, but there isn't anything we can do about that. You're in a service job; people think they have a right to treat you like trash. It isn't right at all, but people are jerks and we can't change that, so we can either let that bug us or ignore it, treat it as part of our job, and let it go. </i><br /><br />"Adam, can you believe they are making me go through training again!? I have been there for seven years! I know what to do!"<br /><i>Yes, but it is the company's policy to retrain people each year for insurance and security reasons. It is to make sure they are covered by law, not because they think you are stupid. So, just do it and don't complain about it. It comes with the job. </i><br />
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"Adam, my boss treats me like crap and has no respect for me! He's also an idiot and doesn't know how to manage!"<br /><i>Yeah, he's on a power trip. There isn't much we can do about it. But he is in a position of authority for a reason. He may be an idiot, he may not know how to do his job, and he may get fired. But until he is either fired or leaves, there isn't much else we can do. When his job opens up, apply for it and be an awesome boss! For now, just be the best employee you can possibly be. The moment you snap back to him is the moment you become just like him. It takes a better person to rise above ridicule and handle rejection with grace. Just look at Jesus.</i><br />
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"Adam, can you believe they passed me up for promotion again?! I have been there twelve years! If anyone deserves to be manager, it is me."<br /><i>I'm sorry, but being at a job a certain amount of time does not entitle you to a better job. Your work ethic, friendliness, and professionalism allow your superiors to consider you for promotion. Even then you are not guaranteed you will get it. Being in a job for a long time does not mean you know everything about leadership either. Honestly, I wouldn't hire you if you worked for be because of your work ethic. </i><br /><br />"Adam, these kids are driving me crazy! I cannot wait until the weekend when I will be free of them!"<br /><i>Um... why did you go to school for education and choose a job that puts you right in the middle of little kids all the time? O.o</i><br />
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"Adam, can you believe that I have to keep the logo on my uniform uncovered so the customers can see it?! They came into this store, they know where they are. They don't need to see my logo to know where they are. It is a stupid rule that makes no sense."<br /><i>Yes, but it is all about professionalism. It is their company policy, and no matter how stupid it may sound, that is how they do things. It doesn't matter if it makes sense; it is all about if you can follow orders and do what your superiors tell you to do. You are not the manager, you are not the CEO, so when you are, you can make the rues. Until then, you can follow them like a good employee. </i><br />
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In my second job, God taught me something else I alluded to above: that if I cannot change it, then there is no point in complaining about it. I worked in the Meat Department at HyVee. I would do pretty much everything. Most of the time, I closed up the meatshop at night. It was one of the most demanding jobs I have ever had, because while I was trying to clean everything off, customers would come up and want something from the meat case or want something cut up. I would have to stop everything I was doing, clean up, and get what they needed. Many nights, I would stay an extra hour or two past when I was supposed cleaning up before I could go home.<br />
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Did I complain about this? Heck yes! I grumbled to everyone I talked to about my job until God made it clear to me: Could I change the amount of customers who came in asking for stuff? No. Could I change who was scheduled that day to help me out more? No. Could I work any faster? No. So would complaining solve anything? Absolutely not.<br />
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There are some things I could change. After a while, my job got too much for me to handle, trying to balance two majors in school and my job. I couldn't change the length of my hours, I couldn't get any days off, so I changed the only thing I could: I quit. When the job got too much, rather than complain, I took action. I left.<br />
<br />
Yet, I do know somethings we cannot change. Our health is one thing we cannot change (for the most part). I have had friends who do not get regular hours of sleep, eat only junk food, and eat that junk food in vast quantities when they do eat. Then my friends complain about not feeling well after their poor choices. In these situations, they have no right to complain because they did it to themselves. I am not talking about these poor choices when I mean health. What I mean are those who have conditions they had no control over. Diseases like Crohn's Disease, diabetes, or juvenile onset arthritis are what I am talking about. Every person I have ever met with a condition like these have never once complained about it. They deal with it because they have realized that there is nothing they can do to get rid of it. Complaining doesn't make their disease any lighter or easier to live with. Sure, they may complain sometimes when the disease flairs up and gets more difficult than normal (although I have never heard them complain about their respective diseases, but I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that they may complain when I am not around), but for the most part they deal with it. Complaining does nothing productive.<br />
<br />
However, complaining does make us feel better.<br />
<br />
That is probably the main reason we complain: it makes us feel better. We may feel justified, or encouraged, or relieved. I do understand that psychologically, we do need to vent. We need to blow off steam because, let's be honest, people frustrate us to no end. I am totally okay with venting, when it is appropriate and cited in the correct context.<br />
<br />
However, psychology also shows that continual negative attitudes are actual detrimental to our physical health. Continual complaining actually makes us feel worse and may affect our physical condition. Studies have shown that stress can cause acne, digestive problems, and headaches. We need to strike a good balance between venting and complaining,<br />
<br />
The complaints I listed above are not justified and not venting because they are not appropriate complaints. Sure, if I had a rough day and my boss was extra hateful to me or the customers were extra spiteful, then yes, I have every right to blow off some steam. But complaining about it every day is not justified. It would be like me complaining about cleaning up trash when I was a janitor--I'm complaining about something that comes with the job.<br />
<br />
Another thing I consider when I hear complaints is the ungrateful attitude in people's voices. Rather than being thankful for having a job, or having kids, or being alive, or being thankful for whatever they are complaining about, all I hear is the horrible things that are happening. If all I hear are the bad things that are happening, then how will I know what is good? The truth is, we should be thankful that we even have a job. In my limited travels, I have seen people who don't have anything and would be thrilled to have a paying job like we have in America. But because we are Americans, we think we deserve better. We think that people should treat us like king--or at least with respect. Truth is, nobody owes us anything. We don't deserve respect. Yes, I think we should always give respect, but we don't deserve respect. We are not entitled to being treated nicely. Some will disagree with this, but that is my philosophy. I believe entitlement is one of the most dangerous traps to get ourselves into.<br />
<br />
This is why I feel God is telling me to be thankful for something new each day. I feel I am so unworthy of everything I have been given. I am going to be thankful this month for even the little things. I pray that you will join me and find something that you are thankful for each day. If it is a person, tell them how much they mean to you. Share the love and thanksgiving around!<br /><br />God bless you all and may you have an awesome month of November!<br /><br />
Following his call,<br />Adam<br />Psalm 69:30Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-10452886526808538262012-08-28T19:58:00.000-05:002012-08-28T19:58:03.239-05:00Agape<br />
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Hey everyone!</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw4Uvk6vFTAhLbUMwm9pT2ZYjr6UkAHFluoLA_xDKR9Ujr7IEgxEPw2c2gex9wUs3adfUrAl7qNiMhq1p_DPiXvKUPtB9VTRe3tguogR4h4DdKHLJydr58mQTK8rhu1AHvjKrhCNty2H8/s1600/forgiveness-hug.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="299" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhw4Uvk6vFTAhLbUMwm9pT2ZYjr6UkAHFluoLA_xDKR9Ujr7IEgxEPw2c2gex9wUs3adfUrAl7qNiMhq1p_DPiXvKUPtB9VTRe3tguogR4h4DdKHLJydr58mQTK8rhu1AHvjKrhCNty2H8/s320/forgiveness-hug.jpg" width="320" /></a>So I have this friend… </div>
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Okay, so in this instance, I actually
am truthfully talking about one of my dear friend and not myself. For the
purposes of anonymity to respect his or her privacy, the person shall remain
gender neutral. However, because I do not want to have to use gender neutral
pronouns this entire blogpost, I will simply use the feminine pronouns in my
narrative. Also, I am about 90% sure
this person will never read this blogpost anyway, so I don’t think it should be
a problem. Plus (but most importantly), I asked my friend profusely if it would be okay if I shared these
stories and my friend said it would be totally fine. </div>
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With that said, I shall begin:</div>
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I met my friend years ago, so we have been pretty close for
a while. She doesn’t realize it, but she has taught me so much about myself and
about life. She is not a real deep person. In fact, she hates emotions and
talking about emotions. It is ironic that she is like that because she is a
feeler-type and emotions make most of her decisions. She does what feels right
most of the time rather than taking the time to think it out and analyze what
is best for her. </div>
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My friend is so dramatically different than I am. We are
opposites in most ways. She is more secluded and introverted, where I love
being around as many people as I can. She feels her decisions out where I use
the scientific method on a daily basis. She hates talking about deep stuff
where I thrive on it. Sometimes I wonder why we are friends. </div>
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I have known her for such a long time; she has often come to
me for advice. I try to give it to her as much as I can, but most of the time,
I do some overkill and give her way more advice than she wants to hear. Because
she is so secluded in nature and doesn’t talk about what is going on in her
life, I try to hit all the bases every time I see her, which tends to be
overkill. Many times I see her rolling her eyes and shaking her head walking
away from our conversations as if to say, “Thanks, Adam. I only wanted to know
that one thing…”</div>
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Yet somehow through all this miscommunication and dramatic
differences in personalities, we have developed a close bond. (I talk about
this bond somewhat in my blogpost: <a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2012/08/feelings.html">Feelings</a>.) We could go months without
speaking and still talk as if no time had passed. </div>
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Because we are so bonded, I want the absolute best for her.
I see her as one of my blood relatives, even though we are not actually
related. There are few people in this world I am as close to as I am to my
friend. However, when you are that close to someone, while you get many
blessings, you also have the greatest potential to get hurt. </div>
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And that’s what happened. </div>
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My friend has never done or said anything directly to me to
hurt me, but her actions speak volumes. As I stated above, she often comes to
me for advice, and like an idiot, I always provide overkill on the advice.
Still, she manages to listen and take into consideration what I say… but then
goes around and does the exact opposite. </div>
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<br /></div>
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I won’t mention anything specific that she has done, but I
will make up a hypothetic scenario to describe what a typical situation would
be like. This will be hard because not all the emotions are transferrable
between situations, but I will try my best to describe in this scenario how I
would feel (were it to be true) and hopefully that will correlate to the other
scenario: </div>
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<br /></div>
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My friend came up to me asking advice on what to do with her
boyfriend. After giving her my opinion on what she should do, I share with her
what I feel God would want her to do and then (as is true to my nature) talk her
into the ground about what she should and shouldn’t do. Above all else, I
strongly advise her not to sleep with him, because I have known her for so long
and I know what is best for her. Sleeping with a guy would not only hurt her
emotionally, but it would really mess with her mind too. She listens, nods, and
says, “Okay, Adam, I hear ya. I won’t sleep with him. Thanks.” And the
conversation is over. </div>
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I talk with her a few months later, and after our initial
banter, she says, “Alright, Adam, I… uh… have a confession to make… I slept
with that guy…” Words cannot describe what was going on in my heart and head at
that moment. A mixture of sadness, anger, bitterness, surprise, disappointment,
understanding, sympathy, thankfulness, and resentment were jumping around in my
head so fast I couldn’t make out what to feel. On the outside I responded
coolly, calm and collected. I told her I was upset about it and I was
disappointed, but I still loved her and thought she should do what was best. She
promised to never do it again.</div>
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A few months later, we talk once more. Again, after our initial
banter, she confesses to me that she has had relations with three other men.
Again, the feelings resurface. This was exactly why I warned her about sleeping
around, because I knew that it would overwhelm her and not mean as much as it
should. This time, I was even angrier than I was before. She had told me she
would do something and completely did the opposite. She promised. She went back on that promise. It felt as if she had
slapped me in the face and said, “Ya know, what Adam!? I know you think you know
what is best for me, but screw you, man! I’m gonna do whatever I want to do!” I
felt like I was losing her. I felt that I didn’t know her anymore. Who was this
kid? This wasn’t the friend I grew up with and knew so well? What was she
morphing into? </div>
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Whatever she was becoming, I knew it wasn’t good. I knew she
was on a path that only led her to more pain and more sadness. She was trying
to look for happiness in the only ways she knew how. My anger turned to deep
sorrow. I grieved. I wept at night (literally) thinking about how to help her out. But her
solemn nature kept her from talking to me about how she was feeling. </div>
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I sat patiently, waiting to see when she would talk to me,
the entire time feeling like she was drifting away and that she was becoming
someone who I didn’t know anymore. I watched her go through pain over and over
again, never seeking help, just enduring it because society has told her that
was the right thing to do; that she needed to deal with all her emotions
herself to be strong. The entire time, she is only killing herself inside. </div>
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It was in that moment that God spoke to me. God told me,
“Imagine how I feel every day, Adam. You have a strong heart for your friend,
and you want the best for her, but I love every person on this planet. Imagine
how I feel watching them walk away and ignore me on a daily basis. Imagine how
I feel when they totally ignore my advice and do what they want to do. Imagine
how I feel getting slapped in the face every moment of every day.”</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq6aVCgqCqb_m5QEMEz-SdS5FQwqGfbKYTgxsoEIdiKgtZLj6653VQUjnSntAM4sGRLSY9OeXrdQlZthoD6HJNHbR8ExVcdlhG1lvBNDwYaf714YB2zyjkICrvh4c-BdEjqRu3yyDnwHU/s1600/hugging-300x200.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq6aVCgqCqb_m5QEMEz-SdS5FQwqGfbKYTgxsoEIdiKgtZLj6653VQUjnSntAM4sGRLSY9OeXrdQlZthoD6HJNHbR8ExVcdlhG1lvBNDwYaf714YB2zyjkICrvh4c-BdEjqRu3yyDnwHU/s1600/hugging-300x200.jpg" /></a></div>
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It was in that moment that God showed me what love really
was. God endures so much of our problems and still chose to come down into the
middle of this rotten mess and walk among us. He knew how much people would
ignore him and push him away, and he still chose to die a death that we
deserved. He still died for us. He still sacrificed himself. He still chose to
put our needs above his own feelings. He was still looking out for us when we
were being selfish jerks. </div>
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That is true love. Agape. Unconditional, unrelenting, pure
love. </div>
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He taught me that in that moment. </div>
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I am still waiting on my friend to trust me. I am still
waiting her to open up and let me help her. Until then, I am praying and
letting God teach me what patience and love is all about. </div>
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Think about that love today. Think about what God has done
for you and what you are doing in return. Think about how much God really loves
you. Think about how much you take that for granted. </div>
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I know I will. </div>
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Following his call,</div>
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Adam</div>
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John 15:13</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-59245639961681304112012-08-26T16:19:00.001-05:002012-08-26T16:19:37.147-05:00Feelings<br />
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Hey everyone!</div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyGylpoADzRipByZ88gSGjGbzhKiv0yu1oa5e0aqPG3W1RAZhCmYOEcmnMjOCma7sItVaU3yuOQwgszRdAPSaf0ISdpCaau8zGpQsT_h8Xq0zVydS2qn4UzrLfanb4Wh2hYTAcYFUXWUs/s1600/ancient-philosopher.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyGylpoADzRipByZ88gSGjGbzhKiv0yu1oa5e0aqPG3W1RAZhCmYOEcmnMjOCma7sItVaU3yuOQwgszRdAPSaf0ISdpCaau8zGpQsT_h8Xq0zVydS2qn4UzrLfanb4Wh2hYTAcYFUXWUs/s320/ancient-philosopher.jpg" width="238" /></a>I am not a man well acquainted with feelings. I am a
thinker, a philosopher, one whose primary actions center on well-thought out
plans coming from the mind. However, recently, I am realizing emotions have
much more of a say in my actions than I would like to admit. </div>
<br />
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I have this ability to gain emotional connections to people.
I know, surprising, right? I am the ONLY person in the world with the ability.
Nobody else could POSSIBLY understand how I emotionally connect with people. </div>
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Okay, so enough sarcasm. In reality, I do grow incredibly
close to a select few people in my life. These people I have allowed to influence
me and change my emotional state through something as simple as a few words.
These people know me inside and out and know what can push my buttons and what
can make me feel ecstatic. </div>
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I have allowed these people to have that authority in my
life because I love them. I feel a special kinship—an emotional bond to them
that I cannot describe. Making that connection can be a rather frightening
thing because, while it has the potential for so much good, it also can be the
instrument for so much pain. </div>
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I am realizing this first hand. I have been hurt so much
throughout my life. I have had people break my heart and walk all over me.
People who I have been closest to have said some of the most hurtful things I
have ever heard. I have cried. I have broken down. I have even been depressed
from time to time. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh04lHx9Su4aKsU7H0yR-zP0Yq3RzLEsrjBdz9y7HHNELOo6PCSsHwwfzuYYSN6__Y8I6TDhMLbOuv52fB2Km0fDvGxbZDoE8v2EhKXtwncBGTGqb14L5X-IFCA3BOuj8CYV2q-s6ZgduE/s1600/449748-bigthumbnail.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="214" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh04lHx9Su4aKsU7H0yR-zP0Yq3RzLEsrjBdz9y7HHNELOo6PCSsHwwfzuYYSN6__Y8I6TDhMLbOuv52fB2Km0fDvGxbZDoE8v2EhKXtwncBGTGqb14L5X-IFCA3BOuj8CYV2q-s6ZgduE/s320/449748-bigthumbnail.jpg" width="320" /></a>Because of this, I have developed this other ability: the
ability to cut someone off emotionally from my life in an instant. While I hold
them close to my heart, if they hurt me, I can cut them off and quickly jump
from, “Oh hey! That guy is my best friend!” to, “Oh hey! We used to be best
friends a long time ago!” very quickly—more quickly than most people. I have
talked to several people about this, and they say it is very unhealthy for me
to do because I never go through the process of loss and grief. </div>
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To an extent, I believe them. I do need to go through grief
and process pain when someone hurts me. But at the same time, I have found this
is my coping mechanism. Each person develops their own defensive mechanisms
when dealing with stress and pain. Mine happens to be cutting people off. </div>
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In reality, the pain is still there, and I process it, but
more privately, in my own mind and in my own way. I still feel the grief, but I let it out in the privacy of my own solitude and deal with it in chunks. People generally don’t see
what is going on in my heart and mind. I keep things to myself so I don’t have
to elude any sign of weakness. I don’t want to burden anyone else with my
problems. </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_m_7mUxqfV6MAZYu3iXMKx3AR2-qan98HC_NJVixX2NOWUozy4zYYmX0dZi3QZa7ZQ_etnLXV30iRIgeN8sdJSznfM_Lrpn7yXz7GECGPkp6elhL_HCTeFSyRwazVhqbhUq9KbkvOQg8/s1600/lonely-guy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_m_7mUxqfV6MAZYu3iXMKx3AR2-qan98HC_NJVixX2NOWUozy4zYYmX0dZi3QZa7ZQ_etnLXV30iRIgeN8sdJSznfM_Lrpn7yXz7GECGPkp6elhL_HCTeFSyRwazVhqbhUq9KbkvOQg8/s320/lonely-guy.jpg" width="320" /></a>At least this is how I used to think. One of the biggest
lies in the world for men is that, to be a man, you have to be able to be
strong enough to deal with all of your problems by yourself. You have to be the
lone wolf, the silent strongman, the lone ranger, the rebellious vigilante who
doesn’t need anyone in order to be masculine. Society tells us that in order to
be a man; we have to put on this aura like we have everything together. Because
that aura is masculine. </div>
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This couldn’t be far from the truth. </div>
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I am honestly not sure where this paradigm came from and
frankly, I don’t care. The point is, it is a lie. Men today are constantly
hurting themselves over and over and over again because they feel that talking
about emotions are taboo and feminine. Well, to be honest, talking about
emotions is <i>somewhat</i> feminine. But if a man wants to be a <i><b>complete</b></i> man, then he
needs to embrace a bit of femininity to be balanced. Ask any woman out there
what they prize in a man, and every one will tell you that they admire a guy
who can talk about his feelings in a reasonable way and be sensitive—without being over emotional.
Some guys out there take it too far and have what I call emotional diarrhea.
(Sorry for that image, but that’s what I feel like when some guy comes up to me
a sobbing, emotional mess and just drops it all over me.)</div>
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The point is, we need to be open with our emotions. The lie
is that if we talk with another person about our emotions, then we must be weak
because we can’t deal with it ourselves. Well, I have a news flash for
everyone: you are too weak to deal with your emotions on your own. You will
never meet a human being on the planet who is perfect and has everything all
figured out. Everyone needs somebody else. We are a social people, whether or
not we like it. People who shut themselves off from the world become bitter and
resentful. We need each other. We need to open up to each other. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwCX9nFBiq4vTVtN8nDT-bjs-FTw3N-YtgaqRhsqGMg5pD3e0nXefFPyZJr3kNbMqAZWzMUHGzuH7m5j5uU9S950dsN4Rn6qRc3jwI2QJKmkzCRy-3ZVPU-_hqXnTbG_7dW6GvTta9lec/s1600/heavy-backpack.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiwCX9nFBiq4vTVtN8nDT-bjs-FTw3N-YtgaqRhsqGMg5pD3e0nXefFPyZJr3kNbMqAZWzMUHGzuH7m5j5uU9S950dsN4Rn6qRc3jwI2QJKmkzCRy-3ZVPU-_hqXnTbG_7dW6GvTta9lec/s1600/heavy-backpack.jpg" /></a>Another lie is that if we share our problems, we are just
putting a burden on another person. Well, that is partly true, but the lie is
in the hidden implication that other people don’t want to handle our burdens.
That couldn’t be far from the truth. If you really love someone, you want to
help them. You want what is best for them. You would NEVER be burdened if they
came to you with a problem. (Unless you, yourself were so burdened with crap
that you can’t take on anything else. But if that is the case, then you need to
let someone else help you with your burdens so you can help someone else.) </div>
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If you are anything like me, you need to understand like I
did that people really do care about you and the “burdens” that you carry,
really aren’t burdens at all. Our burdens seem so heavy when we carry them, so
we don’t want anyone else to have to suffer like we do, but what we don’t
understand is that other people have already carried their burdens and let go
of them and have developed a strength to be able to carry it effortlessly. They
can come along side and help you carry it because they already have developed
the strength so it isn’t heavy to them. </div>
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I’ll give you a personal example. When my now ex-girlfriend
broke up with me a few years ago, I was devastated. I had never loved a woman
so much in my entire life. When she broke up with me, she didn’t just say, “Oh,
Adam, I think we should meet new people. There are plenty of fish in the sea. I
feel like we are growing apart…” yada, yada, yada. She instead decided to bring up every secret
I had confessed to her, every personal thing I have ever shared, and used them
all against me. As I later described it to a friend, it literally felt like she
had performed a Mortal Kombat move and ripped my heart out of my chest, threw
it on the ground, stomped on it, breathed fire over it, spit on it, and then
shoved it back in my chest as I fell down and the announcer said, “Girlfriend
wins!”</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Otf2LOaMrb0-Kg3RaYLUFolbkIUl18ow2CVuZeY7vbgiIFMC7alnu1dofFzC7w0qxbBTHBrolnqrt6ciBFc4H37MsUkI1apUmb0GSwoOZo_dLecDNRgbvGLgOsG5moEr6jcks-rbCSA/s1600/two-hikers-climbing-up-a-rock-formation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1Otf2LOaMrb0-Kg3RaYLUFolbkIUl18ow2CVuZeY7vbgiIFMC7alnu1dofFzC7w0qxbBTHBrolnqrt6ciBFc4H37MsUkI1apUmb0GSwoOZo_dLecDNRgbvGLgOsG5moEr6jcks-rbCSA/s320/two-hikers-climbing-up-a-rock-formation.jpg" width="216" /></a>I was a shattered mess after that relationship. I did my
quick emotional cut from her that I described above, but the pain was still
there. But I kept it to myself. I had to carry my burden. I started snapping at
those people closest to me who were just trying to help. It took me a while to
realize that other people have experienced harsh break ups too. But in my pride
and arrogance, I thought I was the only human on the planet to have ever felt
this way and that nobody could possibly understand or help me out. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I began the slow process of talking it out with people;
sharing a little bit here and there. I found that people had already been there
before and had gone through a break up and could help me carry my own burden.
To my shock, it didn’t burden them as much as I thought it would. They would
smile and reassure me that everything would be okay. I wasn’t a hindrance to
them as I thought I was. In fact, they were glad to have me talking to them
about it. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The lie is that if we keep our burdens to ourselves that
people won’t hurt like we do. But in my own personal experience, I discovered
that people hurt anyway. If you are emotionally bonded with another person,
when you are hurting, they hurt too. In fact, they hurt more because they know
that <i>something</i> is bothering you, but
they don’t know what. So they stew over it in their mind, trying to figure it
out, and it only causes them more worry and more stress. If I was just upfront
with my friends with how I felt, they would be like, “Oh! <i>That’s </i>what’s bothering you? Oh! Why didn’t you say something?
That’s nothing, man! We can get through this! I thought it was much worse than
what it was. I got your back man.” If I
would just share my burden with them to begin with, I could prevent a lot of
heartache on their part. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Sometimes people legitimately don’t know what we are going
through. I have a personal struggle that I KNOW most people will never
understand (but that is a blogpost for another time). What I have learned
through sharing is that, even though they may not understand, my friends still
want to listen to me and be there for me. They want to be supportive in any way
they can. They may not be able to grasp what I am going through, but they know
I am hurting and want to help. Sometimes, I let them feel like they are helping
when in reality they aren’t doing much. But it makes them feel better. It makes
them feel involved in my life. And I appreciate their company, even if they
cannot help. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
In essence, the TLDR of this is: treasure your friends and
keep them close in your life. Don’t cut them out. Don’t arrogantly think that
you have it all under control. Let your friends support you. Don’t believe the
lie that you have to be a loner to be masculine. Embrace some femininity and
you will be rewarded. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I love you all and hope you have a blessed day. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Following his call, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Adam </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Proverbs 18:24</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-62857822050428527522012-07-08T19:28:00.001-05:002012-07-08T19:28:45.333-05:00MinisterHey everyone!<br /><br />I thought I would post here about something very close to my heart and something I deal with on a daily basis: what it means to be a minister. What I have found is that I am not alone in how I feel many times. So, I thought I would tell you what it was like and hope you learn something from this. <br /><br />First off, people who are in the ministry are not more spiritual than you: they are just like you in every way; they don't have more divine insight. They may study their Bible more because they have more time to do so, but that doesn't make them better in any way. They are human just like you, with (as my pastor would say it) hurts and hangups, blessings and baggage. Pastors will make mistakes and they will disappoint you, but do not berate them because of their position, they are doing the best they can.They will be held accountable to God for what they teach others and God will judge them accordingly. <div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKIcNZeLMr8y-4cpz0lA0hDBT4x-IZFe9OW8g1jiARw9i2jDf7wS9gWxD38tn6x3SIyABSmUL5GNTaaV1IhkNwMdiIBhrBjX87MSBF78WehyEtYdJm-eNxApbL5k61UOo-ZAthgAxXe2Q/s1600/teaching_preaching_church_teachers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKIcNZeLMr8y-4cpz0lA0hDBT4x-IZFe9OW8g1jiARw9i2jDf7wS9gWxD38tn6x3SIyABSmUL5GNTaaV1IhkNwMdiIBhrBjX87MSBF78WehyEtYdJm-eNxApbL5k61UOo-ZAthgAxXe2Q/s320/teaching_preaching_church_teachers.jpg" width="320" /></a><div>
When people see a pastor, they tend to judge him more harshly. In some cases, that is necessary. Because I am put in a position as a "spiritual leader" of a group of people, I am called to higher standards. I am totally okay with that, even the Bible says that an overseer must be someone "above reproach" or "blameless." (1 Timothy 3:2) I try to live my life in light of 1 Corinthians 8-14, of which I focus on chapter 10, versus 31-33 which say in the NLT, "So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. Don’t give offense to Jews or Gentiles or the church of God. I, too, try to please everyone in everything I do. I don’t just do what is best for me; I do what is best for others so that many may be saved."<div>
<div>
<br />Yet, I have found that no matter what I do, someone is always offended in some way. I try to "be careful so that [my] freedom does not cause others with a weaker conscience to stumble," (1 Corinthians 10:9 NLT) but I often check my Facebook page to find depressing comments on my links and even more depressing messages in my inbox. Sometimes the criticisms are valid, and I need to change something about myself. Other times, people are trying to graft onto me what they think a pastor should be. (More on this later.)</div>
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Remember that pastors are not super-humans. They are not given more spiritual gifts than you have been given.You have everything that they are offered at your disposal as well. God doesn't give them special powers or make them more equipped than you are. The same God that loves them and gives them what they need will give you what you need. Don't leave everything up to the pastor and say, "Oh, that's the pastors job to do that," because you are called to be a minister too. You may not be called to lead a congregation, preach, or teach the Bible, but you are called to be a minister to every person you run into. Don't just chalk all these responsibilities as a Christian up to the pastor and let him do all the work. You, as a congregation member, have just a much work to do. Don't place the burden all on him. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<div>
Second, pastors feel called or compelled to do their job, and are not drafted, forced, or beat into doing it. The calling is a unique experience. I cannot speak for every pastor, so I will just describe what it is like for me: </div>
<div>
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<div>
I feel like no matter what I do, I cannot be satisfied in any other occupation other than ministry. Every time I have found myself searching out something other than ministry, I have found myself right back to ministering wherever I was at. Everywhere I go I do some kind of ministering. I cannot turn it off. It is like a compulsion that I just feel I should do. </div>
<div>
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Understand, I am not being forced to do this, I want to do this. Well, I "want" to do it to a certain extent. Nobody wants to have to deal with complaining, bitter people who argue all the time about whether or not the church should have green carpet or grey carpet or listen to gossip about how Jane didn't bring a salad to the potluck like she was supposed to. Christian people tend to get very childish and irritating at times, so what person in their right mind would <i>want</i> to have to put up with stuff like that daily? Ministry isn't something I necessarily <i>want</i> to do, but at the same time I very much want to do it. It is an interesting paradox. I feel compelled to do it and found that I could not escape from it. </div>
<div>
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<div>
We know that pastors are human and that they are called to this ministry, but the third thing you must know is that each pastor's ministry looks very different because they are led very different people. This is probably the biggest misunderstanding about pastorship because, for some reason, many people believe that each pastor should be the same. I do not understand this; God has called each person differently and equipped each person differently: why do people expect them all to be the same and have the same values and pursue the same goals? </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Every pastor is (at least supposed to be) pursuing Christ and trying to advance the Kingdom of God. How they go about those goals are different, because there are thousands of different types of people in the world. One pastor may be more soft-spoken, like a teacher. Another is more in-you-face and hardcore while another works with youth and tends to be a bit crazy. Some pastors work with the broken and those on the fringe of society so they go to places most Christians wouldn't dare step into. Each person is different for a reason: why don't we let them minister in the way they are called stop grafting them into our ideal pastor?</div>
<div>
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<div>
What most people don't realize is the pressure put on pastors or other ministers. They are expected to perform, to rise above, to be the flawless example that they can look up to and their children and grandchildren can aspire to be. I wouldn't disagree with these expectations. I want all pastors to be exceptional men or women of God that everyone should look up to.<br /><br />However, what I have found is that most of the time people are not attributing Biblical characteristics of what a pastor should be onto a pastor, but are instead applying what their interpretation of a pastor should be onto that person. These people are well-meaning, but they are depressing the pastor more than anything. Rather than look at what the pastor is doing right, they hone in on one thing that they do not approve of and criticize the pastor for that.<br /><br />I cannot count the number of messages I have received from people who had my best interest at heart, but have tried to graft onto me their image of what a perfect pastor should be. Most of the time these people remember a pastor from their past--or even a current pastor that really changed their life--and apply that template onto another pastor. Other times, people will create what they believe is a perfect God-man in their mind and graft that onto the current pastor they do not believe is living up to their standard. What results from this fusion of expectations is a frustrated pastor and a frustrated congregation member that is not happy with how the pastor is performing. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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<div>
Let's give an example (and I will use a totally hypothetical one so nobody gets offended): </div>
<div>
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<div>
Jairus, a young pastor, is called to the ministry and is called to reach a younger crowd of people. He decides he is going to get a Bible verse tattooed on his arm as a personal commitment between him and God and to act as a conversation starter between him and the people he will be witnessing to. He then proceeds to post a status about getting a tattoo on Facebook, where Sally Sue, an older member of his previous church, quickly jumps onto the status and writes him a personal message about how many people he will lead down a very dark path if he gets a tattoo.<br /><br />Sally comes from a very conservative southern town where only the non-Christian bikers wore tattoos. They were a sign of rebellion and a wild parting lifestyle. She believes that a pastor, a spiritual leader, should never get a tattoo because he will be endorsing that behavior. She watched Jairus grow up in the church: he was such a strapping young boy with good potential! Now she feels he is backsliding and succumbing to the temptations of the world when in reality he is reaching out to a new generation. His other Christian friends support this decision and think that it will be a good conversation starter for his new ministry. Jairus feels stuck. He feels the severe questioning of his elder who desperately wants him to mold into her image of a pastor while he is trying to reach out to a group of people who have never been reached before. How can he reach one group without isolating himself from another?<br /><br />Let's look at another hypothetical scenario: </div>
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<div>
In high school, Cody was the star church boy. He was the exemplar of the youth group, the model of what a Christian young man should be. He wore the Jesus-ware, prayed every day out at the flagpole at his school, and even led a Bible study after school in one of the Christian teacher's classrooms. All the church members were so proud of him.<br /><br />When he went to college, he realized that he could not relate to anyone who wasn't a Christian. Nobody wanted to be around "that hyper religious boy" because they felt he was always trying to convert them. Cody realized that he had been so wrapped up in the Christian subculture that he had lost his ability to talk to normal people. </div>
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In order to reconnect with non-Christians, he started hanging out with those who did not follow Christ. He even went to parties just to talk to people, although he never drank anything. He stopped being so pushy about his beliefs and chose to let those conversations come up naturally. His patience was soon rewarded one night when he went to a bar with one of his friends. They ended up having a deep talk about spiritual matters over a game of pool. The young man expressed an interest in "this Jesus guy" and was eager to learn more about him. Feeling accomplished, Cody goes to church the next morning to tell everyone what had happened, but the more he shared, the more criticism he got from those he thought would be supportive. </div>
<div>
<br />"You went <i>where</i>?"<br />"Why did you think that would be a good idea?"<br />"You are called to the ministry, Cody. You should NOT be going to in places like that! What if someone saw you?"<br />"Do you realize what goes on in those kinds of places? Do you realize what could have happened?"<br />"You could have had that conversation anywhere outside that place." </div>
<div>
<br />Cody was distraught. <i>Didn't Jesus hang out at the houses of tax collectors and sinners? </i>he thought. <i>Wasn't Jesus labeled a "friend of sinners?" Why am I supposed to distance myself from them?</i><br /><br />Cody didn't realize that they weren't trying to say he couldn't hang out with non-Christians; they didn't think he, as a future pastor, should go to a place where so much sin took place. These well-meaning people believe that by going to a bar, he is (1) endorsing all the sin that goes on there or (2) potentially leading someone else who is at a weak state in their life into more sin. </div>
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In my experience (although it is rather limited), the only people who are ever rattled by events like this are those who have been in church for decades. Those who are younger or weaker Christians don't see a pastor succumbing to the wills of the world but often see it as a pastor being more relevant to them and sympathetic to their struggles, willing to go to places where they thought that a pastor never should go. I have never met a young Christian or a weaker Christian say, "Ya know, I decided to start drinking again because I saw my pastor in a bar once." In fact, my theory has Biblical weight: the people who were most upset about Jesus traveling around with "sinners and tax collectors" were the religious elite of the day, not the weaker Christians.</div>
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Some pastors end up turning a blameless lifestyle into a self-righteous lifestyle, distancing themselves from others inadvertently. Instead of reaching people, a "holy" title is strapped onto them and those who do not follow Jesus feel they could never be apart of his "holy" lifestyle:</div>
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"I could never be like him, he is too perfect."</div>
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"Why would I be a Christian? He isn't allowed to do anything. He can't go here, he can't go there. All he can do is go to church and read his Bible."</div>
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"You can't say those words around him! He's a pastor! You'll get smited or something!"</div>
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What we, as the Church, have done is turned our pastors into holy men that are other than human. People feel like they are unrelatable as human beings. Pastors are in this "other" category that most non-Christians feel is (1) unattainable to them or (2) totally unlike them in every way and feel like they cannot be apart of it. In essence, Christianity has become its own culture to the detriment of the message of Christ. People feel Christianity is such a radically different lifestyle and totally unappealing to the common person that Christianity, as a whole, is shrinking. </div>
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Granted, in some ways, it should be unappealing. Sacrificing yourself daily isn't very fun at all. Giving up the things you love that take up all your time in order that you can devote that time to better things is not something regular people do. Realizing that there is nothing you can do to earn your salvation is a huge act of faith that seems ridiculous. Despite these very unappealing things, people were still drawn to Jesus. They came to him by the hundreds. </div>
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Why? </div>
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Because they saw something in him they wanted. </div>
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This charisma is what should be happening to our pastors, yet most of our pastors are seen as distant from everyday life. Normal people feel they cannot relate to them and don't really want to be around them. They are not drawn to them like they should be. But this isn't just a pastor problem: this is a Christian problem. Yes, pastors are supposed to shine the light of Christ, but as I said before, don't put all the responsibility on the pastor. Take responsibility yourself and let Christ move in you so you too can be "a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden." (Matthew 5:14, NLT)</div>
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I have been in very similar situations as what I described above in the hypothetical scenarios. In fact, I had one lady tell me (in essence; I am paraphrasing what I heard and interpreted from her statements, not what she actually said): </div>
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"Adam, I could never go to the church where you are a pastor. In fact, I had to hide all updates from you on Facebook because they enrage me so much. I feel that you have gone too far and allowed to much of the world in. I fear that you will be leading other people down a wrong path. I fear for your future congregation and I pray for them if you are going to be their pastor. I think you will lead many people astray from God if you keep following this path."</div>
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Yup. That was really uplifting, which brings me to my fourth point:</div>
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You can make or break a pastor's ministry. </div>
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I think this is the point I am trying to make in this long post: support your pastor. </div>
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It is so easy to walk up to the pastor and criticize him or tell him what you think he should be doing in his ministry or at the church. It is easy to walk up and complain about someone else not doing their job and to tell him that he needs to speak to said person in order to make them do the right thing. It is so easy to vent to him about all your problems and then say, "I feel a lot better," and go home feeling refreshed, not realizing that he listened to six other people vent to him before you. It is hard to tell him just how much his ministry means to you.</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB9u4lz_iF-0bg5eZtiKG1-KLqVcyWvCfkO6UWXLYyHHaMBsuoP6Ily9G5ApOn5ifeUcHRa2OkulaFJ-T2GVDRw3afJHzS0FlY2qj0WGhzB7QyiYgleI_1kyDCUVfWnVv4PzUVtueFx6Q/s1600/pastor-appreciation_4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiB9u4lz_iF-0bg5eZtiKG1-KLqVcyWvCfkO6UWXLYyHHaMBsuoP6Ily9G5ApOn5ifeUcHRa2OkulaFJ-T2GVDRw3afJHzS0FlY2qj0WGhzB7QyiYgleI_1kyDCUVfWnVv4PzUVtueFx6Q/s320/pastor-appreciation_4.jpg" width="315" /></a>I'm not saying that you cannot vent to the pastor; that is his job (and calling) to listen to you and help you out any way he possibly can. I am asking you to be sensitive to him, knowing his job is rough. Show him your appreciating from time to time. Take him out to dinner. Give him some time off. Tell him what a great job he has been doing. </div>
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I think that last one is probably the most important because not enough people do it. Make sure to really let your pastor know how much he means to you. Send him an email, a letter--something to let him know how awesome he really is. Remember, it's the pastor's job to deal with a lot of junk within the church, so any form of encouragement is so welcome. </div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></div>
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I am willing to bet that the current ratio of bad stories to good stories is about 10:1. (I don't know if that is actually true, and I haven't asked a lot of pastors nor kept track of it myself, but it seemed like a good estimate.) What would be wonderful for the pastor, and really encourage his ministry is to have that ratio 1:1. Tell him one good thing for every problem that you run across. Don't stop telling him your problems, just try to think of something positive as well, even if it may seem small. <br /><br />What a pastor really wants to hear above all else is how God is affecting your life and changing you into a better person. That is the entire purpose of his calling: to help people and equip them to be better. Tell him when God has been working on you. It is one thing to walk up to him after a service on Sunday and say, "Nice sermon." It is another thing all together to say, "The sermon you just preached really hit me today. I have been having a hard time with pride lately, and that message really hit the nail on the head. I am going to really try to put into practice what you said." <br /><br />Understand that you can really help or hurt his ministry. If you constantly badger him, then he will feel defeated because it is a lot of work to try to counter so much negativity. If you encourage him and lift him up, you will see his energy soar and he will feel so much better about his work. </div>
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I have been attacked pretty severely to where I am super sensitive about my ministry. Any type of encouragement speaks the world to me. Conversely, any criticize smacks me like a load of bricks. I tend to question my calling on a weekly basis now--sometimes daily. I am not telling you this so you can reply with, "Oh, Adam... I'm so sorry... You are a great pastor and I think that you will be so fruitful and reach so many people--yada yada yada...." I am not looking for sympathy here. I don't do well with sympathy. I do best with honesty and sincerity. </div>
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I am telling you this because I have felt the burn of criticism. I have felt people trying to mold me into what they think a minister should be. I have felt people try to graft me into their interpretation of what a minster is. I have been criticized, questioned if I am going down the right path, and told that "We'll be praying for you..." so many times I cannot count. ("We'll be praying for you..." I have discovered is code for, "You are not doing what we think you should be doing as a pastor, so we are going to pray that God will morph you into what we think you should be," rather than who he made me to be.) I am saying all of this to say that I know for a fact what a pastor would love to hear. Hopefully, you can learn something from this post and show your pastor a bit of appreciation from time to time. I know they will love it. </div>
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God bless you, and I hope you have a great week!</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
Following his call,</div>
<div>
Adam</div>
<div>
Matthew 7:12</div>
</div>
</div>
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-63863729401165616432012-07-04T12:33:00.002-05:002012-07-04T12:40:43.890-05:00AmericaHey everyone!<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGI65YAIs6rz-TOCVUDVjBjeMouoBypiZ2J0kq8JlvjezRFh1hcdaHbQZDM3UbLq_0MlEpOPHEX0JiuX22P9SY9DBZ2lPl_jI_198q6wFhuUwPObdCi3cYYBHTrArW6SIxtixD5jcnhDE/s1600/satellite-photo-united-states-at-night.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="173" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhGI65YAIs6rz-TOCVUDVjBjeMouoBypiZ2J0kq8JlvjezRFh1hcdaHbQZDM3UbLq_0MlEpOPHEX0JiuX22P9SY9DBZ2lPl_jI_198q6wFhuUwPObdCi3cYYBHTrArW6SIxtixD5jcnhDE/s320/satellite-photo-united-states-at-night.jpg" width="320" /></a>I have been thinking a lot about what it means to be an American lately, especially since today is our Independence Day. I read an article from <a href="http://www.relevantmagazine.com/">RELEVANT Magazine</a> titled, <a href="http://www.relevantmagazine.com/life/current-events/op-ed-blog/26069-america-the-arrogant">"America, the Arrogant?"</a> and it really got me thinking. (If you haven't read the article, I do recommend reading it, they have a lot of good points.) I don't agree with everything in the article, as I always say about RELEVANT's stuff, but the basic jist I agree with.<br />
<br />
I have found with many foreigners that we are America, the Arrogant. I have traveled abroad for the past two years and spent a considerable amount of time in these foreign countries--enough to know that America is not perfect. I have also spent enough time talking to other people to know that America isn't that highly<br />
viewed in the eyes of the world. Here are some descriptors of Americans in the eyes of foreigners. Americans are: <br />
<br />
two-faced<br />
entitled<br />
arrogant<br />
needy<br />
ignorant<br />
rich<br />
snobby<br />
selfish<br />
hypocritical<br />
stupid<br />
<br />
Have I said enough?<br />
<br />
Understand, not everyone feels this way about Americans. In fact, most people I have met overseas love Americans, because the Americans buy their products and give them money. They don't care how Americans act as long as they are paying. Let's face it guys, we are one of the richest nations in the world. Even our poorest people, the ones who complain about not having a car or not being able to buy a TV or have internet are still way richer than a good portion of the world. The poorest people over here in America are still way richer than the poorest people in other countries. Let's respect that and honor that, not rub it in<br />
<br />
The analogy used in the RELEVANT article said:<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;">"How would you feel if your neighbor made no bones about the fact they thought they were better than you? What about if they told you they thought they were specially blessed by God and you weren’t? What if they required constant reassurance from you about how amazing they were?</span><br />
<div>
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br />My guess is you’d end up emotionally drained and tire of their company rather quickly. You’d probably avoid eye contact when retrieving your mail, stay indoors when they were out cutting their lawn and conveniently lose the invitations to their annual barbeque. Is it any wonder, then, that when Americans express the same sentiments we find our global neighbors running the other way?"</span><br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /></span><br />
<div>
Sadly, this is the undertone of many Americans. I have seen this when I go overseas and go to a tourist site or a restaurant.Some Americans will demand certain things, rather than be grateful for what they have been given. They will ask for their orders to be special made and then get offended when the chef doesn't get it right. They will argue with the waiter and refuse to pay because they messed up the food. All of these actions scream of entitlement and selfishness.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Not all Americans are this way at all. In fact, a good portion of them are so kind and welcoming and sensitive to the culture. I think that is the biggest difference: some Americans are "me" focused and not "others" focused. The "others" focused Americans don't demand the other culture cater to them, but rather mold to the culture and realize that everyone is human and just lives a different lifestyle. Rather than saying, "Oh my gosh! This guy has no respect for me! He just keeps touching me and coming into my personal space! And he smells! This is so gross!" the person would understand that the culture has no personal bubble, deodorant isn't a priority, and closeness is the way a person expression friendship. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
Sometimes, rather than being grateful for what we have, we chalk it all up the the "fact" that God loves us more than everyone else when that simply isn't the case. There are tons of other countries out there that are just as good as the United States. Granted, they are different, but they are not worse. I have found that most people who make this claim haven't really lived for an extended period of time in another culture and really deeply experienced their culture. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
It is all about values. We value freedom, because we think it is the best thing in the world. Other cultures value other things, like community or heritage. Yet it is very arrogant of us to make the claim that everyone wants freedom. So, in some cultures, they don't have the freedoms we do, but that is okay. They do not value the freedoms as much as we do. If they did, there would be a rebellion such as the ones we saw in Egypt. We should not be placing our value system onto the values of others and expect them to simply agree and then bash them and claim we are better when they don't. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
After visiting other cultures, some people come back to America so grateful for what they have and vow to never take advantages of their blessing again. Other people come back and realize that America isn't all that it is cracked up to be, but it is one of the better options out there in the world. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjkahzCy74Rv6Q_SDHTlc8RnSSWrD_lNh8bBYQGoPlJibbfVGKMsV_TEXxDgqnBzdK383px_heBCn4JndWRipPvhZX54Y4PqjeAHFbdX-LoVjYLdAvMCH9qdyZ11-PGE_WTmm3iU_o4Bg/s1600/american-flag-sunset-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjkahzCy74Rv6Q_SDHTlc8RnSSWrD_lNh8bBYQGoPlJibbfVGKMsV_TEXxDgqnBzdK383px_heBCn4JndWRipPvhZX54Y4PqjeAHFbdX-LoVjYLdAvMCH9qdyZ11-PGE_WTmm3iU_o4Bg/s320/american-flag-sunset-1.jpg" width="320" /></a>I, for one, do love my freedom. I love the independence and liberty that the United States gives. That is why I support this country and continue to live in this country. My values line up with that of the nation, and I choose of my own free will to support this nation--even to the sense of fighting for it if I must. I do pledge my allegiance to my country, and I do not see a problem with it or feel that it conflicts with my beliefs. I pledge allegiance to my future wife and to my future family. I believe that the values in this country are worth fighting for, and I am eternally grateful for the opportunity I have to be here. It took me traveling to another country to fully understand this. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
So today, I am asking you to join me in transforming this day into a day of remembrance, contemplation, and thanksgiving for being in such a wonderful country. Let's pray to never take advantage of this nation and the freedoms we have here.Let us not brag about how amazing our nation is and further isolate ourselves. Let us not think that God only loves and blesses Americas, but loves all equally. Let's pray for other countries and peoples and not compare ourselves to them. Let us remember that God loves all equally, and "gives his sunlight to both the evil and the good, and he sends rain on the just and the unjust alike." (Matthew 5:45b)</div>
<br />
Let us remember this verse and keep it at the heart of our nation and on our minds all today:<br />
<br />"Because of the privilege and authority God has given me, I give each of you this warning: Don’t think you are better than you really are. Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us." (Romans 12:3 NLT)<br /><br />
Following his call, <br />
Adam <br />
Philippians 2:5</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-65768801537676056932012-06-15T11:47:00.001-05:002012-07-08T19:30:14.299-05:00Me<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
Hey everyone!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I have to admit, this is one of the most paradoxical posts I
have ever written. The post is about me learning to realize that life isn’t about
me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It took me coming to the Holy Land to realize what I had
been missing with my ministry. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was called into the vocational ministry when I was still
young in high school. I spent all my time in high school ignoring all the “temptations
of the world” (as I called them), even to the point of taking a “not dating
oath” (which said I would not date anyone in high school so I could focus all
my efforts on learning more about God and my relationship with him). Looking back
now, I can see where the slow fade began. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
At college, I spent time learning the skills I would need to
minister effectively to people. And skills did I learn! Not only did I grow academically
in my knowledge of the Bible and Christianity, but I grew relationally as well.
Where I was an arrogant Bible-Thumper in high school, torching the people
around me with a flamethrower-style of sharing the Gospel that could only
resemble Arnold Schwarzenegger mowing down trees with a Gatling gun in the
movie <i>Predator </i>(maybe it wasn’t Arnold
who used the gun, but someone with huge biceps did), I became more fluent with
actually listening to people and talking to them like they had a brain, not
like they were just some number on my “witnessing checklist.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
My life seemed set! I had a great ministry with a local
church. I served as a volunteer in a local ministry. Everything seemed to be
together. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Then chaos happened.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
People started criticizing me. I expected the old fashioned
Christian persecution for which my youth group so adequately trained me. What I
didn’t expect was the criticisms I would get from my fellow Christians. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was questioned about the “improper relationship” I was
having with some of the youth boys—questions I was not prepared for because they
came from out of the blue and with no rational reason. Nobody accused me of
anything, just “expressed concern” about my involvement with the youth.
Apparently, they never had a youth pastor who went to lunch with their youth
and was genuinely concerned with their life. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was the first time I began to question my calling.
After some counseling with God, I realized that there wasn’t anything wrong
with me or my psyche, but that I needed to watch myself in a changing culture
and always live “above reproach” so I could be found “blameless” in the sight
of God (Colossians 1:22). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I restored my ministry anew and began serving at a different
church before the pastor was called to plant another church. I then found
myself serving at yet another church soon after. My life seemed to be set
again. I was on the path to pastorship. I had everything planned out: I was
going to seminary, working at a church part-time and going to school. It was
going to be great!</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Three weeks before I graduated college, my life once again
turned upside down. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I had posted some articles on Facebook about some of the
views I believe. I won’t go into detail, because they are not important. What
is important is that I handled the situation wrong. Rather than stopping the
argument and letting the fire die from all the heated comments, I fanned it
with my knowledge of the Bible and strong opinions. In the end, some people
said some very rude things to me, questioning my ministry calling. They said
that if I ever had a church, they would definitely not go to it and they feared
for my future congregation, that I was going to “lead them astray” down a path
that isn’t Christian. Other people in different posts started attacking me for
some of the beliefs I had (mind you, I still think my views are considerably
conservative compared to the vast views of Christianity as a whole, but
apparently my views were not conservative enough for some people). I would
receive private messages from other church members saying they were “praying
for me” (code for: “I do not approve with what you are doing right now, so I am
going to pray for you and expect God to shape you into what I want you to be;”
but that is a rant for another post: <a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2012/07/minister.html">Minister</a>). When I would go home to my home church, I could
see the suspicious looks from some people in my congregation as they shook my
hand after they asked, “So how is college going?” like they were probing me for
the right answers. I learned to navigate these verbal and mental minefields and
I learned to say the right keywords that would make them smile and say, “God
bless you!” before wandering off. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Needless to say, I became hurt by the church as a whole. I was
hurt by well-meaning Christians. I was tired of the expectation and everyone
judging me and pushing me to what their definition of an ideal minister was
like. I questioned my calling again. I questioned if people really liked me. I
wondered how I would be able to reach anyone if people would criticize me all
the time. What bugged me most was that I questioned myself: was there something
wrong with me that caused people to dislike me? Was there something in me that I
needed to change to reach people better so they would respect me and want to listen
to me? </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I questioned all of these things, I started my trip to
the Middle East. I thought I had tried to be a help to people before the trip,
making sure they had everything they needed to go on the trip and had all
documentation needed for the trip. When I got here, I felt like (and this is
mostly in my head from my own insecurities, not actual reality) nobody
respected me here. I wasn’t expecting anyone to like me, but I was expecting people
to listen to me with attentive ears and not roll their eyes at me with a look
that said, “Are we done here?” (Granted, I don’t think anyone actually gave me
that look, but from my own insecurities, I felt this way.) I tried my best to
help out anyway I could, but I kept feeling like the bad guy to people on this
trip. No matter what I did, people complained (sometimes for good reason,
because I was thinking the same thing, just didn’t voice it). </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was taking on so much personal responsibility for
everyone. I legitimately care about people. I do not show it well at all, but I
do care about them. I am the behind-the-scenes kind of guy who makes sure everything
is arranged so the trip can go smoothly and effortlessly. I buffer much of the
complaints and pushiness from the people in charge (such as tour guides), so
the students don’t have to deal with it. I am by no means a victim or a
sacrificial figure; all I am saying is that this is how I express how I feel
about people. I typically do not take the time to sit down and get to know the people
I am trying to serve, mostly because my personality is so abrasive I tend to
turn people off at once (at least that has been my experience). The problem
came when I started taking on more than what was required because I cared so
much. (I know, it is kind of a weird, messed-up way of thinking, but that’s how
my mind works)</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Tonight, God spoke to me and put me back on the right path. The
truth came from a wonderful young woman on the trip before her baptism in the
Galilee. She shared her testimony, and she, much like me, has a problem with
control. She, like me, had a hard time letting go and letting God run her life.
She, like me, wanted to take care of herself. What she said (in essence, I am
paraphrasing) that really struck me was, “I had to realize life was much bigger
than just me, and I had to start loving God and loving people.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That was the heart of the matter: I had not really been
loving people. I was serving them. I was trying to make sure that everything
was okay for their trip, but I wasn’t taking the time to actually minister to
them and get to know them. God showed me (or rather reminded me) that ministry
is way more than just making sure people have good lives and know the Gospel,
it is sharing a life and love with people that transcends understanding. It is
showing them a grace that we cannot comprehend. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
As I stood there, knee-deep in the Sea of Galilee, watching
the group pray in a circle, arms around each other’s shoulders, I couldn’t help
but wonder why I was not a part of that group. It was at that point that God
struck me hard: “This isn’t about you, Adam! This is about her!” In that
moment, I felt shame. I felt horrible all over. Even in this moment of beauty
where we witnessed the external evidence of a life changed, I am still there
thinking of myself. I hadn’t realized how deep my selfishness ran until that
point. It was no wonder I wasn’t a part of that circle praying! I hadn’t even
taken the time to minster to any of them! I had not once talked with this young
woman about her relationship with Christ! What kind of a minster would I be! </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
The moment was bittersweet to me. As I watched her, I was
overjoyed with happiness as her decision. As I saw the tears of joy run down
her face, my heart warmed and a tear came to my own eye. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Conversely, there was a shamefulness that I had been so
selfish the entire trip. I had been focusing on me and what my future held—even
during her baptism! As we walked back to the shore, I hung my head, ashamed,
asking myself, “How can I be a minister if I can’t even relate to people and
take enough time to talk to them?” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
God gently reminded me once more: “Adam, this isn’t about
you. Stop trying to do this all on your own and let me change you. Remember, I
use the weak to demonstrate my strength. In your weakness, I am strong. I want
to use you, Adam. Just remember to love me first and then love on others. That
is all I ask of you. You don’t have to be a charismatic leader to be an effective
minister. You don’t have to know all the answers or say the right things. Just
be you and love people.” </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
That is the key to ministry. I have to love people at all
times. I have to realize this is not about me. While this is something God has
called me to, it isn’t about me at all. It is about him and what he wants for
my life. It is about them and others I will run into in my life. It is about
showing them the love and grace of Christ and the free gift of salvation that
he offers. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It is not about me. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Following his call, </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Adam </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Matthew 22:36-40</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-12625650277996957962012-04-08T11:41:00.001-05:002012-04-08T11:41:57.637-05:00RisenHey everyone!<br />
<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilywikSQvDRCzSV4OFVSAU7Zys2T48CoiPYj2oL7LGEc0lekYuOSRBzDR1VLKFBmI5WFhH3hCUUpeyzajwzvwegWlBXeRljtMmlFgv2Wy0VxWvS4nP-OvYoK5lnTG78eScy78szrnOsDo/s1600/Empty_Tomb-750089.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="228" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilywikSQvDRCzSV4OFVSAU7Zys2T48CoiPYj2oL7LGEc0lekYuOSRBzDR1VLKFBmI5WFhH3hCUUpeyzajwzvwegWlBXeRljtMmlFgv2Wy0VxWvS4nP-OvYoK5lnTG78eScy78szrnOsDo/s320/Empty_Tomb-750089.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Today is a weird day for me. It is probably the first time in 23 years that I haven't been at a church on Resurrection Sunday. I am having conflicting emotions.<br />
<br />
At first I was mad. Now, I am not a stickler for attending church. In fact, if you knew me at all, I am more chill about attending church than anyone; I don't care if people go or don't go, as long as they are worshiping God. But on the day that we celebrate the entire reason for Christianity?! I should be there!<br />
<br />
Then God reminded me: church is just a building housing people who all believe the same things. The majority of ministry doesn't happen within the church, but outside the church. They didn't have church on the first Easter. What did they do? They went around telling everyone about what happened! They went to the tomb and found it empty, and told EVERYONE!<br />
<br />
What do we do today for Easter? We celebrate! But how do we celebrate? We go on Easter Egg hunts? We have barbecues? We attend cantatas and concerts? How much time do we spend going around telling others about what Jesus did? That's what the disciples did. They were so excited they went to tell everyone!<br />
<br />
I'm not saying we shouldn't go to church on this day. (I am rather thrown off by not going to church, actually; I would rather be there.) All I am saying is that after we celebrate, we should go out and tell everyone! Get excited! Our Lord has risen! <br />
<br />
It took me a while to get used to that idea of not going to church. Now, I am okay with not being in church, because I am at a spot where I can be of use. I am at my grandparent's house. They do not know Christ. I had to ask myself, where would I rather be: at a church with a bunch of people who have heard the Gospel a billion times or with family that I love and with whom I need to share the best message of all time? As you can tell, the answer was easy for me. <br />
<br />
This song excites me so much, I hope you get something from it too.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Today, don't forget to be missional. Christ came, He died for you, and He rose again. Be excited about that! Tell someone who doesn't know. Keep God in focus, others in mind, and remember what Christ has done for us. <br />
<br />
Following His Call, <br />Adam<br />
Matthew 28:6Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-88815728423124173482012-03-17T13:27:00.001-05:002012-03-17T13:27:16.433-05:00KonyHey everyone!<br />
<br />
As you can tell by title, you can guess what I am about to talk about. I will try not to beat a dead horse, because this topic has been run to the ground and dragged through the dirt.<br />
<br />
These past few days have been difficult for me. Between school and loved ones getting very sick, I have been on an emotional roller coaster. Add the<a href="http://www.invisiblechildren.com/"> Invisible Children</a> dilemma to that, and I don't know what to think anymore. As an avid supporter of IC, these past few days have been challenging for me.<br />
<br />
If you haven't seen the video, here it is. If you have seen it, go ahead and skip it and read below.<br />
<br />
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<br />
There is something to be said for this video. The video now has over 80,000,000 views. 75,000,000 of those views came within nine days of the video being posted online. It is the most viral video of all time. Despite what you think of the video, good or bad, that's an amazing feat.<br />
<br />
RELEVANT Magazine already did an article on this topic. If you haven't read it, I encourage you to read it before you read what else I have to say, because I do not want to repeat anything they have already covered.<br />
<b><br /></b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0YLyqsXKmlSf2T_CaGrE1QMGIL7kHIk0CnnpPt8n2QHVOxdLPv8JqgPSHD8VdG8A1iW9mgVsAUFBL7lYror7XI1SHPzXugWS-t7bPg_GsTsnB58MaUDdyAVRLLIHfFwUN00DM-wR-HyY/s1600/Article_Kony2012.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="165" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0YLyqsXKmlSf2T_CaGrE1QMGIL7kHIk0CnnpPt8n2QHVOxdLPv8JqgPSHD8VdG8A1iW9mgVsAUFBL7lYror7XI1SHPzXugWS-t7bPg_GsTsnB58MaUDdyAVRLLIHfFwUN00DM-wR-HyY/s200/Article_Kony2012.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>RELEVANT Magazine </b><br />
<b><a href="http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/tv/features/28598-qaa-with-yvette-nicole-brown-of-community">Is Kony 2012 Good or Bad?</a></b><br />
by Rachel Held Evans<br />
<br />
Now that you are slightly informed (if you were not already before), we can start to talk about this. Well, I can talk, and you can listen, I guess, unless you comment. That would be cool. You should comment; I like hearing your opinions.<br />
<br />
I posted the article above on my Facebook page with the comment, "What do you think?" What I was expecting was some intelligent conversation about why you should or shouldn't support IC and the new <i>Kony 2012</i> movie. I guess I thought people would be more aware of IC than they were. I thought IC was more well known than it was. As it turned out, <i>Kony 2012</i> simply brought IC into the eyes of everyone in America who had never heard of them before. Suddenly, people who had no idea about this organization (that is almost a decade old) have suddenly been made aware. To them, it is a new thing. And (in the new viewer's eyes) this video was something IC just threw together with information they had all just gathered recently and haphazardly.<br />
<br />
If I was thinking, I would have better prepared myself for the responses I received on the post. People started picking specific things to use to attack IC. I will not go into details about the arguments; all you have to do is do a Google search about IC criticisms and you will find them all. As much as I want to address them and defend IC, I will resist. I think there is a greater issue to address.<br />
<br />
I started responding to these posts very strongly. In fact, one of the people commenting called me out (and rightly so), saying, "I have to ask: Why ask people what they think if you're just going to attack the ones that disagree with you?" Ouch. He was right. I was attacking them as they were attacking IC. I began to ask myself, <i>Why am I getting so defensive?</i> I did some introspection and here is what I found:<br />
<br />
I wasn't defending IC, I was defending an idea IC represented. After watching the video, I had to admit that I wasn't really fond of it. I didn't like that they omitted a lot of the Ugandan people's suffering. I don't like <i>how </i>they are making Kony famous. I don't like that you can purchase items with Kony's name on it; to me, you should be emphasizing the situation, not the person. To bring Kony into the spotlight is a disservice to those who have suffered at his hands. Yes, we should be made aware of what is happening with Kony, but we should go about it in a different way. I understand what they are trying to do, but if I were in their shoes, I would have taken a different route.<br />
<br />
Although I am not thrilled with the method of their new message, I still support IC. But I am not defending IC when I was attacking people. If I were to be totally honest with myself, I would have to say that, yes, I am defending them...in a way. Despite my bias for IC, what they stand for is something greater than just defending Ugandan children.<br />
<br />
Invisible Children stands for the ideals in all of us. These three men went over to Africa and saw a problem and wanted to fix it. Granted, they may have only seen part of the problem, but they saw a problem. What is different about them than it is in most every else: they did something about it. Yes, the way they are going about it isn't perfect, but they are at least putting feet to their words.They came back to the states and got organized. They put their dream into action. They did what they wanted and they didn't let anyone stop them.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXP-L_k10x9bOr0400_cXQ-r5v6AJV7WKw_D47pq-EN7M1mVcmF3R4zcCnW_BQjEjdttdnUh-GBQ4lAn7LklWIOlV8xlZ1pxFMZ0Yqff7adQfNZVczeTGfb0FZr_yXghJUustLZBVDFVw/s1600/iStock_000005724729XSmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXP-L_k10x9bOr0400_cXQ-r5v6AJV7WKw_D47pq-EN7M1mVcmF3R4zcCnW_BQjEjdttdnUh-GBQ4lAn7LklWIOlV8xlZ1pxFMZ0Yqff7adQfNZVczeTGfb0FZr_yXghJUustLZBVDFVw/s320/iStock_000005724729XSmall.jpg" width="320" /></a>Here in America, we are so thrilled about killing dreams.<br />
<br />
"Mommy, when I grow up one day, I want to be a movie star!"<br />
"Well, Sarah, being a movie star is really hard to do... maybe you should be a teacher, they always need teachers."<br />
<br />
"Hey Adam, I have been really thinking about this, and I think I want to be a professional bow hunter." "Caleb, that sounds nice, but do you realize how unrealistic that is? I mean, how many people who bow hunt actually make it to the professional level? I know you're good, but let's get real here..."<br />
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"I have a dream to see Kony arrested and put on trial for the crimes he has committed."<br />
"Do you realize how ridiculous that is? Do you realized that you are helping another terrorist organization in order to get to him? Do you realize how difficult it will be to catch him? Kony isn't even a threat anymore!"<br />
<br />
Why do we kill dreams?<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLifgC0czn0UIFzd7w4COv0473PMLxzBF8heTwJrfX5mykAXiuPEtOF5KDbJo2UDbKgp24i84z0Ag1Lf8O1Ksib_z5NDEiwzSQmf6e7a7nUHTXjt6Gi3Ss2M-RG_iBfCogJbuXwZ-YzMs/s1600/FearKillingDreamsImage-198x300.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLifgC0czn0UIFzd7w4COv0473PMLxzBF8heTwJrfX5mykAXiuPEtOF5KDbJo2UDbKgp24i84z0Ag1Lf8O1Ksib_z5NDEiwzSQmf6e7a7nUHTXjt6Gi3Ss2M-RG_iBfCogJbuXwZ-YzMs/s1600/FearKillingDreamsImage-198x300.jpg" /></a>The internet has become a hotbed for people throwing out whatever they want to say without regard for the implications it has on the other. We can say some of the most cruel and hateful things about someone and, because we are American and we have the right to freedom of speech, that makes it okay. We criticize and we criticize and we criticize everything! As soon as we press the enter key, we click off the page and don't think about what we have just done; we go back to the world of "us" and don't give it a second thought. We pick at movies, songs, and people on The Voice who's vocal talent isn't quite up to par. (Granted, there are some people who legitimately cannot sing, but the majority of people on these shows can be good with some vocal training.) We talk about them as if they are objects.<br />
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I am reminded of the video of <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdkNn3Ei-Lg">Jonah</a> almost a year ago. (If you haven't seen the video, I encourage you to follow the link and watch it.) When I first saw it, I was horrified. I literally cried because I felt this kids pain. A few days later, after the video went viral, people started to question the authenticity of the video. People would troll Jonah and leave very hateful comments, telling him to come out and be real about what's going on in very graphic and vulgar ways. They were saying his feelings were all a hoax and that he was just some kid desperately wanting attention. In the process of talking about bullying and how people pick on him, EVEN MORE people started to hate on him! REALLY!? How low can we go that we harass a middle school kid who is reaching out for help?<br />
<br />
Even if the video is fake (and you can decide for yourself after watching the interview <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vC5TaPzuMKg&feature=fvwp&NR=1">here</a>) and he was just some kid seeking out attention, there are hundreds of people out there in the same boat. Why do we attack them?! Why do we belittle their expereince!? Those feelings are real to him, whether they are deserved or not. Those scars are real on his arms. And people just attacked him because they saw inconsistencies in his behavior just like people find inconsistencies in other organizations that are trying to help.<br />
<br />
Why do we belittle the things that do matter?<br />
<br />
Some people seek social justice and we criticize them for not doing it well enough. At least the guys at IC are doing something. Most people who criticize others on the internet sit back in their comfortable computer chairs and drink their expensive coffees after writing a post critiquing a certain viewpoint and smile, not even thinking about a world outside of their own. They were just so thrilled to prove someone wrong and point out all the flaws in their plan.<br />
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These people don't do anything themselves.<br />
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Most of the critics don't contribute to a charity, they don't volunteer, they don't really stand for anything. They just critique all of the other people who do and find something wrong with them. Well, to be honest, organizations are made of humans. Humans aren't perfect. Therefore, the organization won't be perfect; <i>all</i> of them will have mistakes. If we are waiting for the perfect organization to show up, it <i>never</i> will.<br />
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Why has publicly criticizing things become so common in America? It has almost become cool and hip to point out all the flaws of whatever is trending. We want the Truth to shine. We want transparency, then we expect them to be perfect when they are transparent. We expect it in presidential candidates, we expect it in Hollywood stars, and pretty much everyone who is in the limelight. We tend to forget they are human too with flaws, histories, and hang-ups. When something happens with a Hollywood star, we immediately start to gossip about what is going on. We laugh at the Kardashians shortest wedding, when in reality that situation is so sad. We start to joke and trend funny topics on Twitter about the plight of Jason Russell a few days after the Kony video came out. (If you don't know what I'm talking about, the article is <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2012/mar/16/kony-2012-campaigner-detained">here</a>.) Why do we find pleasure at the misfortune of others? That's really depressing to me. <br />
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I am guilty of this too; I am not exempt. I found myself criticizing organizations and making fun of them too. But that is wrong! It is low! We exemplify ourselves as perfect in our minds and diminish others as if they can never compare to us. We shouldn't be attacking organizations that are attempting to make the world a better place. We should be supporting them and encouraging them to do better. We should stand beside them and pick them up when they fall, not kick them while they are down and shout, "I told you so!"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4ZaEufRUk0k8u0r3g9ByQvJWCGNFTf_rMzrqGPFtD11BYHf6DVNYBGKlL49B60MyV_cqLpWLMkpKHxJAhlsa-ldsXhhbJeuLfDtKmRTl8bwjmIWzI1o22BfYmb8nWi0CCdAipy_U2u-Q/s1600/falling.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="175" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4ZaEufRUk0k8u0r3g9ByQvJWCGNFTf_rMzrqGPFtD11BYHf6DVNYBGKlL49B60MyV_cqLpWLMkpKHxJAhlsa-ldsXhhbJeuLfDtKmRTl8bwjmIWzI1o22BfYmb8nWi0CCdAipy_U2u-Q/s200/falling.jpg" width="200" /></a>I know, I know, as a skeptic myself, we do need to question everything to be smart in where we invest our money; we need to be good stewards of the money entrusted to us. We need to make sure the people are spending the money wisely. Instead of attacking them on the areas where they fail, we can encourage them and guide them on the right path. We need to hold them accountable, but still support and encourage them, not rip their dreams out from under them and leave them falling to their death. We should be pointing out the positive alongside the negative.<br />
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I think the problem arises when we don't do enough research or don't think enough about the situation. The problem of not doing the research happens on both sides. As the RELEVANT article describes, the danger is ignorance on both sides. On the one hand, people can blindly support an organization and almost worship it. Worshiping an organization without doing the research is stupid in my mind. What's to say someone in the organization won't take all their money? We should be responsible and careful with where we invest our money and do the research wisely before giving an organization anything.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji3a-IYPAhQrqAopwVvOTV4aQLzwVLp47EGbF-b4S81kD_NYasQ4j0jsN6y_NvfeNB_al1Lh8KShMT7oh-U8k-IySOs_Et7BHJkVFOWEXr8LCoW8tkwrp4iMNHhbA-_IinM80rkaLFDA0/s1600/2846.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji3a-IYPAhQrqAopwVvOTV4aQLzwVLp47EGbF-b4S81kD_NYasQ4j0jsN6y_NvfeNB_al1Lh8KShMT7oh-U8k-IySOs_Et7BHJkVFOWEXr8LCoW8tkwrp4iMNHhbA-_IinM80rkaLFDA0/s200/2846.jpg" width="200" /></a>On the other hand, we need to be careful not to criticize an organization so that they lose all support. The image I always get when we're done criticizing a person or an organization is a crying child in the fetal position on the floor as we turn our backs and walk away with a smirk on our face knowing we were right. Yet, most of the criticism are not well founded but have been reduced to simplistic arguments and blown out of proportion. The problem is, most critics find one flaw and exemplify it or they take an idea and reduce it to absurdity by comparing it to something more ridiculous. Their counterarguments are just as ignorant as the people who blindly follow the organization without doing research into the organization.<br />
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From what I have found with people who propose the counter-arguments of IC is that they simply don't believe IC and what they say--but they will believe another article online that counters IC without doing the research into where the person who wrote the article got the information--whether or not it is valid, or whether or not it is true. They jump on the counter-bandwagon just as readily as people jump on the trending bandwagons.<br />
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All I am trying say through all of this is to not jump to conclusions. I have known IC for a few years now, and I have done my research in supporting them. I would recommend everyone do the same. Do your research and come to your own conclusion. Rather than criticize it after watching one video and reading maybe a half-dozen articles criticizing it, try to look at both sides of the argument and try to remove your biases for a bit to see something from another perspective as I am trying to do. IC is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but of all the African support organizations out there (and trust me, there are hundreds of them), this one actually is making progress and change--not just giving handouts of shoes, bug-nets, or condoms; these people in IC are actually helping the people become independent not dependent on American goodies.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1lai8AD5MDsQDTkobEwwH98hEK14BMXeRxU_f1u7VKLTxjKji1bjMSSYpuCS_OPP6NifvsR1WsojoBrwjRsf8BYOIz9HwbNIQagQ3EHYdkyLw0b27GtFuZcEy1P6qbYjHUtPqvm41brc/s1600/grumpy-old-man.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1lai8AD5MDsQDTkobEwwH98hEK14BMXeRxU_f1u7VKLTxjKji1bjMSSYpuCS_OPP6NifvsR1WsojoBrwjRsf8BYOIz9HwbNIQagQ3EHYdkyLw0b27GtFuZcEy1P6qbYjHUtPqvm41brc/s1600/grumpy-old-man.jpg" /></a>I understand this organization is not for everyone. Some people would rather support another organization. I am totally, 100% for that! Go, support them! Someone commented on my article and said there were worse problems in Africa than the Kony problem. I would agree. They talked about the water issue in Africa. I totally support groups that drill more wells. Go for it!<a href="http://www.samaritanspurse.org/"> Samaritan's Purse</a> is one such organization I support that does just that. Go support them; put actions to your words. Don't just take a passive seat and point fingers at every organization and not get involved yourself. Don't be passive and point fingers at others where they were wrong. Don't belittle an organization when they are actually trying to make the world a better place. It is easy to be the grumpy old man on the couch griping about how much life sucks and how so-and-so is so stupid and everything is stupid and how everything on TV is stupid, etc. It is hard to actually get involved in something and see a world outside of yourself. Your paradigms tend to change once you are actually out in the situation and not looking at it from a distance.<br />
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Don't be passive. Make a difference. Be the change you want to see in the world. (to quote Ghandi)<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
1 Corinthians 13:13Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-77514293776605376812012-02-14T12:57:00.000-06:002012-02-14T12:57:00.686-06:00ScroogeHey everyone!<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfFLkuiGUH04Sa1OI4vI_rULCWSSUltdO4zBuBDmAVGbmiTnfcm7-W8-AmLYsVzGs4XqVNwD8iP-Tv2Xc0bf7Tie34myKRbtxt1icDbhBDxe-1IsoidRNs0v_imER134Rgp-iexqt9frM/s1600/68066099-13112754.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfFLkuiGUH04Sa1OI4vI_rULCWSSUltdO4zBuBDmAVGbmiTnfcm7-W8-AmLYsVzGs4XqVNwD8iP-Tv2Xc0bf7Tie34myKRbtxt1icDbhBDxe-1IsoidRNs0v_imER134Rgp-iexqt9frM/s200/68066099-13112754.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Alright, I have to admit, I feel like a Scrooge today. I am probably going to get stoned by people after they read this post, but I feel it is something I need to share. You can feel free to disagree, write me off, or comment a thoughtful (and<i> non-aggressive</i>) comment on the bottom describing your view, but I have thought about this a lot and I have come to this conclusion:<br />
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I don't understand the point of Valentines Day. To me, the holiday is pointless.<br />
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Let's take Christmas for example. Why do we celebrate Christmas? Well, because (in my opinion, and most will agree with me) that was the time that Jesus came down to earth, and we rejoice that the Son of Man was born. We are so grateful that God humbled Himself and took human form to live among men.<br />
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Easter is similar: we celebrate the resurrection of Jesus from the dead. We remember his sacrifice on our behalf on the cross and lament for our sins, but then rejoice that Jesus has conquered death and has set us free! That is a reason to celebrate!<br />
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Even days like Memorial Day, we honor those soldiers who have died. Martin Luther King Day, we honor one of the greatest leaders in our nation. But on Valentines Day...... What? We remember.... love?<br />
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I get the intent: this is one day a year you are to make your significant other feel important--like they mean the world to you and to show the world how much they mean to you. It is a time to celebrate each other and remember the love you first had long ago. It is a time to re-kindle that love and show each other the full extent of how much you mean to each other. Shoot, sometimes it is an excuse to get out of the house and go on a date! (Especially if you have kids and cannot get out as much!)<br />
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I have some problems with this.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUADUL_LsXVIdAfzvvZgiG_Qc6MMM292Em8Iwh62z5Pth1Nm6kuBTYKKOECEePUo8XvQHZWXf40zyO_LDQd6bKVq-Kb-F5oe83SalFrS5R5Q4CCKbwPjhQ2DaeNKzjNsdp9WF88snnkUg/s1600/valentine+gifts.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="198" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUADUL_LsXVIdAfzvvZgiG_Qc6MMM292Em8Iwh62z5Pth1Nm6kuBTYKKOECEePUo8XvQHZWXf40zyO_LDQd6bKVq-Kb-F5oe83SalFrS5R5Q4CCKbwPjhQ2DaeNKzjNsdp9WF88snnkUg/s200/valentine+gifts.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>Why do we need to re-kindle love? Did it die? </b><br />
I understand love starts to loose it's luster over time. Being in a romantic relationship myself, I have not arrived to that point just yet because our relationship is still young--but I have talked to several married couples that say, "Some days you look at your spouse... and you don't feel anything. Those butterflies in your stomach aren't there anymore."<br />
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Gary Chapman describes this phenomenon in his book <i>The Five Love <a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2011/03/languages.html">Languages</a></i>. He says at that point, we need to start speaking each other's love <a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2011/03/languages.html">languages</a>. I have already wrote on this before (hence the hyperlinks), but to briefly reiterate: we should be speaking each other's love languages all the time. That way, the love experience isn't a decline that needs a jump-start once a year, but an on going roller-coaster with peaks and falls and excitement the entire time.<br />
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Some would say that Valentine's Day is just one of those peaks. I wouldn't disagree. I say that is totally fine. That is how I am using this day. However, I am not making February 14 more important than any other day.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaVgknFZ7aqYaMv5nPlW9q2XNB9v_cQXqtlX-SQQSPcLHI5VI8QJcdBHXzZ-HwgqACvjYmoSJ32WVnRhqGmcTGSnJEJ8p0MGoog4QkVJHZ1D0R6ggBcahBO0Dr0ojZxOGMJvSWIOuCEQo/s1600/What-to-get-my-boyfriend-for-valentines-day.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="170" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjaVgknFZ7aqYaMv5nPlW9q2XNB9v_cQXqtlX-SQQSPcLHI5VI8QJcdBHXzZ-HwgqACvjYmoSJ32WVnRhqGmcTGSnJEJ8p0MGoog4QkVJHZ1D0R6ggBcahBO0Dr0ojZxOGMJvSWIOuCEQo/s200/What-to-get-my-boyfriend-for-valentines-day.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>Why don't we celebrate our love twice a year rather than once? Why not four times a year? Why not monthly?</b><br />
This idea reflects off what I stated just a few sentences ago. We should be having "Valentine's Days" once a month with our spouses. I know that kids get in the way. I know jobs are hectic and volunteering for things only adds more time. I know that Clayton is involved in soccer and Ruth is in ballet and they take up all your free time. Still, I think it is feasible to find at least a few hours a month to devote to each other.<br />
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I know, I know: I am not married yet, and I cannot possibly imagine how busy and stressed everyone is. But I have always lived by this philosophy: "You make time for what you love most." I plan on making time for my wife. And it that means that I have to give up playing StarCraft once in a while, then I am all for it. If I have to give up sleep because that is the only time we can talk, then I plan on doing it. I am making this commitment now so when I get married, I can live up to it. (And I'm asking you all to hold me to this.)<br />
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I have heard that if you don't make time for each other, then your marriage will start to be strained. Your marriage should even be placed before your children. Some would disagree. This is not my opinion, these are the opinions of wiser people than I will ever be telling me this advice. I am going to listen to them.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8CIA2IVo17SoHcaA4Bv-RRtxBjs2fBzeQjcwx5A557vlXpQPrQ2wpuA7LLtsfoNjdvd3PfmAdQsqFj5QtIgusoQ6UqtJJ2z-4eH5WGZP3fJfdV8So95DVJoDyjHDyak9x3HI9cDL3Hvc/s1600/shopping-cart-with-gift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8CIA2IVo17SoHcaA4Bv-RRtxBjs2fBzeQjcwx5A557vlXpQPrQ2wpuA7LLtsfoNjdvd3PfmAdQsqFj5QtIgusoQ6UqtJJ2z-4eH5WGZP3fJfdV8So95DVJoDyjHDyak9x3HI9cDL3Hvc/s200/shopping-cart-with-gift.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>Does the gift mean less knowing it is expected rather than spontaneous? </b><br />
Be honest with me, what means more to you: when your husband comes home with a dozen roses randomly and says, "I just wanted to surprise you and tell you I love you," or when he comes on on Valentines Day and hands you roses, knowing he got them on sale and says, "Happy Valentines Day!"? Guys, what if your woman was like, "I made your favorite meal and favorite desert and we are going to watch whatever movie you want tonight, just the two of us," instead of, "It's Valentines Day! We are having your favorite meal!" (implying it is the same meal as last year)? I know, when I put it that way, it's a easy choice and I totally am belittling the holiday. But I am trying to make a point. To me, a gift given out of obligation--or even sometimes to one-up the Jones--means way less than a gift given out of spontaneous love.<br />
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Some would disagree with this, and in fact, research shows that anticipation for something is much more powerful than surprises. Surprises tend to offset people, because you can never predict the emotions going on in their head the moment before they are surprised. But if you wait... then they know it is coming and are anticipating the moment until it finally happens. I am not arguing with research. In fact, I plan on using anticipation more than surprise.<br />
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Still, knowing that everyone else is doing the same thing or similar things on that day--knowing that people are making a profit off of my romance--belittles the experience for me. I would rather show my girlfriend how much she means to me when the flowers aren't "On sale for 50% off!" or "Buy one get your second one free!" I would rather give her what she wants rather than a box of chocolates where she won't even eat half of them because they are disgusting. I would rather buy her some candy she will love and eat.<br />
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I propose having a dinner for your significant other once a month and letting them know a week in advance: "Honey, next Friday is our date night. I'm going to take you out to your favorite place and then we're going to see the new movie you wanted to see." That way, it gives them anticipation, but it isn't expected all the time, like Valentine's Day is every year. Plus, you are not doing the same thing everyone else in America is doing. To me, that makes the night even more special.<br />
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<b>Doing what's expected</b><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU9cAetnenigyiXEHaSZxFjxJ8irrhnOeeBU_qGkjtudI0ps76kJx-TVy6oxOG-MdFzmGlvZ7T6GDe7G9Fy_Maa-dmWBHPIAEdJlLk4tpDmzcyXllqzRGJSl3DwxLbXLD7v_TZFgH-bEk/s1600/couple-valentines-day11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU9cAetnenigyiXEHaSZxFjxJ8irrhnOeeBU_qGkjtudI0ps76kJx-TVy6oxOG-MdFzmGlvZ7T6GDe7G9Fy_Maa-dmWBHPIAEdJlLk4tpDmzcyXllqzRGJSl3DwxLbXLD7v_TZFgH-bEk/s200/couple-valentines-day11.jpg" width="195" /></a>I think so many times people just do what is expected of them: "Today is the 'Love Day,' so I guess I should buy my woman a teddy bear..." Where is the romance in doing what is expected?<br />
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When you are feeling bad and you tell someone about it, most of the time if you tell them you expect them to comfort you. Normally, the comfort feels pretty good. When they don't you feel worse. Sometimes Valentine's Day just causes problems because people are expected to do something and it doesn't happen.<br />
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In the same way, when someone is in a relationship, you don't tend to settle on what is just expected. You do more. If we did what was only expected, then nobody would move past friends. In my view, romantic relationships is when you go above and beyond the expected. On Valentine's Day, it's hard to beat the "expected" because some people go way out of their way. So...pretty much anything you do is expected.<br />
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Alright, I have to insert a Jesus Juke here, because it fits so well (plus, I'm gonna be a pastor, we find sermon illustrations in pretty much anything). Are you only doing what is expected for God? How much do you love God? Do you love Him enough to go above and beyond the standard and show Him the true extent of how much you love Him? He did for you; He showed you so much love that He was not only your defendant on a punishment you deserved, but He took your place, took the punishment for you, and then set you free to live a wonderful, abundant life. Are you just doing what is expected for Him? Remember, you are His bride; are you being a good "wife"? Are you treating Jesus with the same love you are treating your spouse?<br />
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Jesus Juke over, back to the main post.<br />
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Everything I have posted about above are the reasons why I don't like Valentines Day. I see on my Newsfeed statuses, videos, and pictures all telling each other how much they love each other. Why not do that in person? Why post all your romance online for all to see? Romance is private to me, I don't want to see you making out with your your significant other on my Newsfeed. Gross....<br />
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That's not saying all posts are bad. I don't mind the, "I've been married to the love of my life for 14 wonderful years now! She is the woman of my dreams!" or the occasional picture with the caption: "Look at what my boyfriend got me for Valentine's Day! I have the best man ever!" I don't mind those statuses, but I would like to see those more often than once a year. I want to see those in the middle of July when there is no romantic holiday.<br />
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But then again, I'm just a Scrooge.<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
1 Corinthians 13:4Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-7542155372423944582012-01-30T21:16:00.000-06:002012-01-30T21:16:33.769-06:00DyingDISCLAIMER: EMOTIONAL POST<br />
(meaning that I am writing this while very emotional and I am not sure what will come out)<br />
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Hey everyone!<br />
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So, I am sitting here on my bed, on the verge of tears, wishing I could cry, but I cannot because there are other people present in the room and for some stupid reason my male ego says I have to be the tough guy. It's not like a whole group of people are here, just me and my roommates, but still, I feel the need to uphold my aura of strength. Truth is, I am dying inside.<br />
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I don't mean to sound so dramatic, but I am going to speak to you how I feel. So many people think that I am this immovable rock, this solid person who doesn't experience emotions; like I'm some<a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2012/01/brick.html"> Brick</a> people can kick around. But I do have a heart; I do care. In fact, it is my heart for other people that leads me to my current emotional dilemma.<br />
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I am grieving inside over some friends of mine who are making decisions that are ruining their life. I won't go into detail because of privacy, but basically, they are becoming adults and making their own decisions, and those decisions are leading them down a path that leads to even more pain and ruin. (When I say these things they are doing are bad, you are going to have to trust me. I'm not talking about something trivial like they decided to watch R-rated movies or leaving cherry bombs in someone's mailbox: I'm talking about decisions that affect people's psyche--not to mention some decisions are illegal.)<br />
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I lie here in bed, typing on my computer, weak, wanting to cry, but holding it back. These are people I have grown attached to; people I have shared my life with and trusted. I have a strong emotional bond with these people, and to see them ruining their lives kills me. The decisions they make they do selfishly, doing only what they want to do and living totally for themselves, a concept that is foreign to me. I want to understand, but I just cannot. And my heart bleeds for them.<br />
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I feel like a parent, watching their kids make mistakes and not being able to do anything about it. I love these guys more than I love anyone else and to watch them fall is devastating.<br />
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The image that burns in my head right now is that I am on a mountain...<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCIsxuZ2ld7R4O0pD99TCPuHyKro_n-JEKYofM5SmJgWhSm9Nw2W4T6tWipXqGQF0_U5ye7CKL0t91yL8AEoT7Y0h8fvA2MMGh0DfvreBij-Iyo98zo1E5ARYeTGQ3E-Y-lt5P00Vqjbw/s1600/949386-Ice-Climbing-on-Fox-Glacier--Look-at-this-massive-ice-hole-we-found-0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCIsxuZ2ld7R4O0pD99TCPuHyKro_n-JEKYofM5SmJgWhSm9Nw2W4T6tWipXqGQF0_U5ye7CKL0t91yL8AEoT7Y0h8fvA2MMGh0DfvreBij-Iyo98zo1E5ARYeTGQ3E-Y-lt5P00Vqjbw/s320/949386-Ice-Climbing-on-Fox-Glacier--Look-at-this-massive-ice-hole-we-found-0.jpg" width="320" /></a>Snow is all round, knee deep, and the wind is blowing the snow in every direction to where I can hardly see. I look down and see someone down there on the edge, clinging for dear life. So I yell down to them, throw them a rope and tell them to hold on tight. They grab the rope, and slowly start to pull themselves up. As I look, I can see tears in their face as they struggle. I pull the rope as hard as I can without pulling myself off the ledge.<br />
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As they climb higher, I hear them say, "It's too hard! I can't make it!"<br />
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"Yes you can!" I yell back. "Just keep holding on."<br />
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A large gust of wind blows them and they look down, shielding their face from the onslaught. I never let go of the rope, and I keep pulling up. But they have stopped. As I shout more encouragement to them, I see them look up, a look of total defeat in their eyes, and I hear them say...<br />
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"I can't do it..."<br />
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... and I watch them let of the rope and plummet to their death.<br />
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This is how I feel. This is why I sit here in tears wanting to punch the concrete wall next to me. I am watching my friends plummet to their death and there is nothing I can do about it.<br />
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Yet, the scenario is not accurate enough. I still talk to them and have to see their pain. I have to see them every time after they made their choice and watch them live in their consequences. I have to watch them walking around in their death while I try to pull them out of it.<br />
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Many times I feel like giving up. Many times I ask myself why I bother with these people; why do I continue to put so much effort into a relationship when I cannot make them change?<br />
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Then I am reminded of the One who never gave up on me....<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh00HmY3UWdNXNa7qX_PmhqLr3PduXUwGLn0eWnrbWMkdLKbk_w88lCHT7nAMOACL4lwFHulMZSnC9gR_qOXqHJ85SImfx0Y-7JX44BcxjYEcATe6gJ1lFUmILBlep-6SBIY9Z0vhBWy4w/s1600/reaching-out.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh00HmY3UWdNXNa7qX_PmhqLr3PduXUwGLn0eWnrbWMkdLKbk_w88lCHT7nAMOACL4lwFHulMZSnC9gR_qOXqHJ85SImfx0Y-7JX44BcxjYEcATe6gJ1lFUmILBlep-6SBIY9Z0vhBWy4w/s1600/reaching-out.jpg" /></a>It is His love that brings me through this. He never gave up on me, so I will never give up on them. It will be hard, watching your friends die each day, but I figured if God can do it, I can do it.<br />
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And I know I will be alright because I have the Holy Spirit inside of me and it is His strength that drives me on, not my own. I know I will be okay because someone has already believed enough in me to die for me.<br />
<br />
Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
John 11:35Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-71534184571336841622012-01-15T22:33:00.001-06:002012-01-15T22:33:55.199-06:00InvisibleHey everyone!<br /><br />As I sit here composing this blog, the question is ringing in my mind: "Should I use my new found powers of invisibility for good or for evil?"<br /><br />Let me back up and explain: Right now, there are four people standing in my doorway discussing what they want to do for fun tonight. As they talk about random games and potential movies to watch, I try to throw in my opinions as to what to do. However, my words fall on deaf ears. My comments are ignored as easily as if I had never said them. Pretty soon, one of my friends say suggests they should play Scribblish, to which my other friend replies, "Can we play Scribblish with only four people?"<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgNSJ0i_9JZAThy2buewPUY1Mp2YZznDyzqp4BZGuZeKDCBSuJ0JOAwYKFI3iexnmaT-V_AcihR3Gbwd83BlVkFHI1q82-sHqPcaxt-nfQEsKSEmfsd1ec76fUkg8DqXhcsstl62UpR4/s1600/peer+rejection.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgEgNSJ0i_9JZAThy2buewPUY1Mp2YZznDyzqp4BZGuZeKDCBSuJ0JOAwYKFI3iexnmaT-V_AcihR3Gbwd83BlVkFHI1q82-sHqPcaxt-nfQEsKSEmfsd1ec76fUkg8DqXhcsstl62UpR4/s320/peer+rejection.jpg" width="320" /></a>It was at this point in the conversation that I realized I was totally invisible to those in the room. I mean, it wasn't like it was loud or everyone was talking at once; they could hear what I said, they simply choose not to acknowledge me.<br />
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So that left me with a thought: "What would I do if I was invisible?"<br />
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I know I seem cavalier about this whole thing, especially with people being so rude (and I'm pretty sure everyone would agree making plans about your evening and not inviting the person who is standing right there next to you is pretty rude, but to ignore someone's existence deliberately? ... that seems rather harsh to me), but this has happened to me before. I have gotten used to being ignored and invisible.<br />
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A few years ago my laptop crashed. And by "crashed," I mean the hard drive literally burned up and I could not even use it anymore. I lost all my papers, all my hard work I had done all semester. That week was a living hell for me. I had two 15 page papers due by Friday (it was a Sunday that my hard drive crashed) and an 8 page paper due that next day. All my work: gone.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit8Ultfmwcedd7pHSBYybVpU5likYQL81MfjPVb7inpj_rWk2KXf3KVSU06xuABFUmYqVb-TSLLBiZbVtqTD7bWa7Upf4C1axUacfuqaiSsR67xb4IU0sSGbigGRJwYUCy_ff7CN38eDo/s1600/rejection_therapy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit8Ultfmwcedd7pHSBYybVpU5likYQL81MfjPVb7inpj_rWk2KXf3KVSU06xuABFUmYqVb-TSLLBiZbVtqTD7bWa7Upf4C1axUacfuqaiSsR67xb4IU0sSGbigGRJwYUCy_ff7CN38eDo/s320/rejection_therapy.jpg" width="320" /></a>I pulled an all-nighter and got the first paper done. When I got back from delivering the presentation, I took a two hour nap, then worked on my other papers. After sleeping an average of two hours each night, I finally got the 30 pages written for the two papers.<br />
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But in the middle of this week from hell, I walked into a room of people (I believe there were five people in the room) and asked if I could borrow someone's laptop to finish my paper on because all the campus computers were taken (and they honestly were!). The room was silent. Everyone was just about to watch a movie and they were quiet as one person worked the DVD player. Everyone heard me, I am sure, but not one eye looked up at me to even acknowledge my existence.<br />
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Appalled, I just stood there a few seconds before saying slowly, "Oooookay...." Eventually, I looked at the guy closest to me (a guy who I had recently given a free laptop to because he had done a bunch of stuff for me and I had an extra laptop--a decision to this day I regret) and said, "Ryan (pseudonym), could I borrow one of your laptops?"<br />
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He blankly replied to me, "Sorry Adam, I'm using them," and turned back to the TV.<br />
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I looked at his desk. Both of his laptops lay closed on his desk. One of them was the one I had given him for free. The lights on the bottom of the laptops remained unblinking, indicating they were shut down, not hibernating or sleeping.<br />
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My jaw dropped. Rage filled my heart. I stormed out of there, afraid I would hurt someone.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTe7BQBuidMvavVjwT4sEbWke0G5YKBlviAYiQJpGEUjeCUpP2z3ujLV9MTDR78NuosSZbTtHQe-UvKniMMQfxepXzRYjs4GBrkUnHuI0GQxx8OBgyqJpKj9I7Mfb-_b-BqGG35JQOFNY/s1600/GA%252520Family%252520childhoodrejectionPic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="282" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiTe7BQBuidMvavVjwT4sEbWke0G5YKBlviAYiQJpGEUjeCUpP2z3ujLV9MTDR78NuosSZbTtHQe-UvKniMMQfxepXzRYjs4GBrkUnHuI0GQxx8OBgyqJpKj9I7Mfb-_b-BqGG35JQOFNY/s320/GA%252520Family%252520childhoodrejectionPic.jpg" width="320" /></a>As I calmed down, I really started to think about life and it's meaning. <i>Am I really that unlikable that people would totally ignore me then flat out lie to me to my face? Do people really hate me that much? What did I do to make them not trust me? I am very good with other people's property--shoot! I fix laptops, not break them! Why does nobody trust me? Why did nobody even look at me? What did I do or say to make them hate me so much? Do they hate me? Were they all having just a bad day? ...at the same time? </i><br />
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These thoughts have wandered through my head often. Even right now, they wander through my head. Thoughts of worthlessness, loneliness, rejection, self-pity, self-loathing, hatred, jealousy. I question my own value, my purpose, my friendship.<br />
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But then I realize that I am actually worth something. I am reminded that I am loved and that I am cared for. Even if the world hates me; even if people never want to speak to me again, Jesus loves me. He knows me for who I really am. He knows my faults and still loves me anyways. He accepts me even when everyone else in the world leaves me hanging out to dry.<br />
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Thank you, Jesus. I love you so much.<br />
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It's these Truths that make me so cavalier about being totally ignored. It is the love of God that allows me to lightheartedly ask, "Should I use my powers of invisibility for good or for evil?" when faced with rejection. It is God who receives all the glory in all this, not me. I get nothing by being rejected, but by His power, I can face anything.<br />
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I have learned that when you know who you are in Christ, nothing in life can phase you.<br />
<br />
Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
Philippians 3:10-11Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-76035699049522298372012-01-14T21:54:00.004-06:002012-01-14T21:55:34.979-06:00BrickHey everyone!<br />
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I am not sure what to title this blogpost. Normally I have a general concept that I work from then expound, but this time it's something... different. This is very personal. And I am beginning to see how this blog (currently EDGE-X) is going to be reformatted into a new type of blog and I will soon create two more blogs. These ideas are still swimming around in my mind, so I will address them later in a later post. </div>
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For now, let's talk about what's going on in my brain. </div>
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I know it's been a long time, but I have been really busy. I am going to try to get more done this year, but the blog will soon be reformatted, that's why I've been hesitant to post anything, because I didn't know what I would be doing with my blog. </div>
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Yet, I regress once more... What's really on my mind is people's perception of me. I normally don't like talking about myself, but I seriously believe that people don't understand me. </div>
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It came to my attention first at dinner the other day. One of my friends (Kari, pseudonym) forgot to text another one of my friends (Wade, pseudonym) a dinner invite. Kari felt so bad, she apologized profusely to Wade, who laughed and continued to tease Kari for her forgetfulness. After repetitive apologies from Kari, I leaned over and said, "You should take it. Kari never apologizes like this to anyone. She has never even apologized to me. Ever." We all laughed and Wade accepted the apology while Kari said (paraphrased), "Well, that because Wade is like a teddy bear, and you, Adam, are like a brick we can kick around." We all had a good laugh, but the implications of that innocent statement got to me.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz7lHcLiUO_oXVJHUpXR4MX9A34K7GhVoKwEggjX6AB-v-vSWVsleljx_gAek7sFhyphenhyphenEYrBV_tLHKgXCMBy_1KiFxnRMbjFfTSNu3xtdrf6Sfdbzj5Tn_nbBJihIBjNO24BVLiHfJB_vyQ/s1600/brick-large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhz7lHcLiUO_oXVJHUpXR4MX9A34K7GhVoKwEggjX6AB-v-vSWVsleljx_gAek7sFhyphenhyphenEYrBV_tLHKgXCMBy_1KiFxnRMbjFfTSNu3xtdrf6Sfdbzj5Tn_nbBJihIBjNO24BVLiHfJB_vyQ/s200/brick-large.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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Am I a brick? (There you go! I have the title now!)</div>
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I think many people just don't understand me. They see me as the "big tough guy" (or the "small tough guy"... but whatever), the "strong man," the "armadillo" (okay, so nobody has ever called me that). But seriously, people think I'm this big mass of stubborn will and boldness and that they can toss whatever they want to my direction and nothing will stick like BBs off a tin roof. </div>
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What most people don't realize is that I really do have feelings. I have emotions, I care about people, and I legitimately want to help people and make the world a better place. I cry at night for those who are hurting. I mourn for those people who are close to me who are doing harmful things to themselves and their future. My heart breaks for the youth of this world, and the hurt they go through. </div>
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I don't put on a strong exterior to cover it up. I explain my heart to anyone who asks. I'm not afraid to sit down and open my heart to people and express how I feel. I try to make the world a better place. I try to encourage everyone I can. I try to ask how their day is, how their Christmas break was--I legitimately care about people. </div>
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My strong, forceful nature is just my natural personality combined with my upbringing. But most people see it as, "Adam's a tough guy, he can take it!" When in reality, it still hurts. Over the years, I have developed this, "tough guy" attitude to keep myself safe--so nobody would notice when they hurt me. I have developed a very thick skin so I can take most any criticism.</div>
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But the criticisms still hurt....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimk5ua-nvdcXdieINAS7qUQ-x1DDS3xsvwkfQ4nwpdYNGksV0Kcby4T2PyhGYZw908hpdx2woYFVSA1sfgfgBvgAzn2vv6nRia5vnzVDhz3LBv6Jz7kGB-59m4QPY_mhdUDJJF2F39jMI/s1600/trauma.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="212" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimk5ua-nvdcXdieINAS7qUQ-x1DDS3xsvwkfQ4nwpdYNGksV0Kcby4T2PyhGYZw908hpdx2woYFVSA1sfgfgBvgAzn2vv6nRia5vnzVDhz3LBv6Jz7kGB-59m4QPY_mhdUDJJF2F39jMI/s320/trauma.jpg" width="320" /></a>Recently, my friends have said I was "too wrapped up in your own emotions and pride;" that I was selfish and arrogant, and thought only of what I wanted and what made me happy. That hurt me more than I would like to admit. My "friends" obviously didn't know me... or at least the full me. </div>
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I think one of the major problems in life is that nobody bothers to look at the world through anyone else's eyes. We get so caught up in viewing the world from our spectacles that we start to criticize others when their views don't line up with ours. I try my best not to accuse anyone; I try my best to try to see the world from their perspective.</div>
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Yet nobody seems to do it for me....</div>
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Nobody tries to get to know me....</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ75ayW7ES0oPLSsdjxqdMaC8KWQajNcneKQ81z76OOlj6olLU_WjcYUIFmHmXxk5BqtG7h-tEt2RHi4Rdxclzp2qvw1x5YJIrmIP1ChLK5h9k2NFT_Mkqfp7lYvCsXKUzDtBM0OWngHc/s1600/Jesus-holding-girl.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgZ75ayW7ES0oPLSsdjxqdMaC8KWQajNcneKQ81z76OOlj6olLU_WjcYUIFmHmXxk5BqtG7h-tEt2RHi4Rdxclzp2qvw1x5YJIrmIP1ChLK5h9k2NFT_Mkqfp7lYvCsXKUzDtBM0OWngHc/s200/Jesus-holding-girl.jpg" width="156" /></a>I know "nobody" is rather absolute and dramatic, but rarely do people actually take the time and invite me to lunch just to talk. Rarely to people stop by my room to just hang out with no other agenda. </div>
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I start to wonder if I am just that unlikable....</div>
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But then I realize my worth. I realize God sees me more than a brick. It doesn't matter how other's view me. It doesn't matter if other people like me or want to get to know me. It doesn't matter if they understand me or try to see the world through my eyes. </div>
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Jesus already knows me and understands me. </div>
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam</div>
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Psalm 139:19</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-28371270869403239052011-10-20T12:53:00.002-05:002011-10-20T12:53:47.336-05:00WallpostHey everyone!<br />
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So here I am again... it is too early in the morning and I have something on my mind. Be ready for another late-night rambling, loaded with emotions and questions with no real answers. Here I go:<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHctAu8Ft5Nb2yuGu_qCbCw8u9Qvmh_X3IuYJBTbQIBa9h7VyLiAXVcUdE0pJov299g3zkcRwoM8zhjNMFmR23j7Wejief7xxcTDb0IZXyOg0q7WLzlk-ce7OmNXi6VUS-Z0ifdzszN9s/s1600/facebook-icon.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjHctAu8Ft5Nb2yuGu_qCbCw8u9Qvmh_X3IuYJBTbQIBa9h7VyLiAXVcUdE0pJov299g3zkcRwoM8zhjNMFmR23j7Wejief7xxcTDb0IZXyOg0q7WLzlk-ce7OmNXi6VUS-Z0ifdzszN9s/s1600/facebook-icon.png" /></a>I was just on The Facebook (yes, I just called it that), and I saw my friend, Cole (pseudonym), post on the wall of another friend, Ryan (pseudonym), and Ryan commented back just a few minutes later. Whoa... profound, right? I know what you are thinking.... <i>This is so intense! I am so glad you shared that with us, Adam!</i><br />
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Okay, so maybe you were not thinking that at all. In fact, you were probably thinking, <i>Huh? What? Why is this significant? I have no idea what you are even talking about, Adam.</i> Let me give you a little back story to help you understand.<br />
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When I first met Ryan, we quickly discovered we had a lot in common and became close friends, even though our age difference was rather large. In a lot of ways, Ryan was like a little brother to me, and he looked up to me in a lot of ways. Having never been appreciated like that before, I did not react well to Ryan giving me so much praise and attention. I had never really been taught how to take a compliment, and for some reason never felt appreciated at home, school, or with my friends (I don't know why; maybe I have a mental block or something). When Ryan started actually liking me for who I am, I ate it up. For what felt like the first time in my life, I felt genuinely loved and appreciated.<br />
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Let me clarify before someone reads this and gets all creeped out. When we think of "love" we think of the romantic type of love, and there is a love and appreciation that comes from a woman that a guy needs at some point in his life. That woman most likely becomes his wife and they share a love and appreciation on much deeper level. But for guys, we need to feel loved by other guys too. We need to feel accepted and appreciated as a man in front of other men. Men need to know they are a part of the pack. I felt like Ryan was the first young man to accept me as part of the pack and look to me as the man God had made me to be. Like I said, he looked up to me and admired me in many ways, as I cared about him and his general well being. <br />
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Consequently, because I loved Ryan, I wanted to help Ryan in any way I could. For those of you who know me, I genuinely love everyone and want to help them as much as humanly possible. You will may times find me saying, "Let me know if there is any way I can help you," "Call or text me and let me know if there is anything I can do," "I really do care and want to help, so don't be shy to get a hold of me and tell me what you need," "If there is anything I can do for you, let me know, whether that is money, venting, talking, counseling, etc." You get the picture. I love helping people.<br />
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However, many times I come across as over-eager and it creeps some people out. To some it just turns them off and they try to get away . Because I have never been shown how to accept praise and reciprocate love and appreciation, I tend to be pushy and zealous. I get in people's faces. I am nosy. I don't leave them alone. I don't leave enough space. I am always there, always asking, always waiting to help. And that disturbs people--with good reason! Nobody wants to have a person following them everyone wanting to know everything they are doing. As much as people want help, they want to be independent too and have their space.<br />
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This is what happened to Ryan (I think, I don't really know because he and I have not talked about this). Ryan thought I was getting too close and felt awkward with my constantly being in his business. He pushed me away, and asked that I not speak to him again for a long time. For six months we didn't say one word to each other. When I would see him at different places, he looked the other direction and ignored my existence.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3Yu4ujx4KW68QgmUNmqU440T7U4LTjF9smQlrPqmN4s-Y7CliG2B1IVwTaoBSHgkZ7DyqDMe_Ey217Wakk2Y42Gt4iXPmbeVW1NN0QJHHYqfxeuerqpjR2BkenM6GwVAq4nk02Q-bq8/s1600/parental-rejection.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEin3Yu4ujx4KW68QgmUNmqU440T7U4LTjF9smQlrPqmN4s-Y7CliG2B1IVwTaoBSHgkZ7DyqDMe_Ey217Wakk2Y42Gt4iXPmbeVW1NN0QJHHYqfxeuerqpjR2BkenM6GwVAq4nk02Q-bq8/s1600/parental-rejection.jpg" /></a>Suddenly losing all the affection and praise you once had, only to be replaced by rejection and isolation is one of the most difficult things a person can go through. When a daughter yells at her mother, "I HATE YOU! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!" and then storms out, never to talk to her mother again, that hurts the mother on a deep level no body can describe. When a younger brother looks at the older brother he has adored his entire life standing behind bars, he shakes his head, walking away, planing on never seeing him again. The hurt the older brother feels from his younger brother's shame is worse than any punishment the government could inflict on him. There is no pain in the world that can describe the feeling of losing the affection you once held so close to your heart.<br />
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I love Ryan as if he was my own brother. Even though Ryan was not family, he was--is--my friend, and I hold certain friends to the same level as family. To see how I pushed too much and invaded his privacy, manipulating him to tell me things he wouldn't tell me before broke my heart. He didn't want to talk to me anymore. That killed me inside. It still does to this day.<br />
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Ryan and I have rekindled our relationship... somewhat. I did not initiate this rekindling--he did. I gave him space and backed off. I wanted to never be pushy again. While our relationship is somewhat back, it looks nothing like it did before. I can't really talk to him anymore; we can't have serious talks without him backing away and withdrawing, like I am going to hurt him again. It kills me inside, knowing I inadvertently hurt him so badly by being so intrusive.<br />
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When I saw Ryan comment so quickly to Cole's post, it reminded me that Ryan would never reply to my post that fast, if he ever replied at all. This distance between us now--both emotional and physical (since I have moved to college and he to another area)--makes it so easy for him to keep that distance between us. I send him a text once in a blue moon, asking him a simple, innocent question (such as, "What's up?"), and he never replies. He never initiates a text to me either. I would think it is because he is so busy, but when I send him Facebook messages informing him I will be in his area in the near future (not even saying that we should hang out), he never replies back. Yet I know he is online, because I can see him post statuses and comment on other people's wall on my News Feed.<br />
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Every time I see one of his comments on someone else's wall, it drives the knife of rejection deeper into my soul. I am reminded with every comment that I screwed up, that I hurt him, that we will never be close friends again, and that I will never be able to fully apologize for what I did. While my unhealthy attachment to Ryan is ancient history, the shame and hurt of what I accidentally did will forever live in me, being amplified with each ignored message and text. When I saw him comment on Cole's wallpost, I winced, because I had just sent him a Facebook message a week before asking when he would be free in the near future. In essence, he ignored my message, and responded to Cole's. <br />
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Have you ever been in a situation like this? Have you been totally rejected? Have you ever unintentionally hurt someone and then never got the chance to make it right? How do you deal with the pain and guilt of making such a mistake? How do you make the relationship right? Can you? How do you tell someone how sorry you are? How can you tell them that it will not happen again when the person doesn't ever want to talk to you? How can you understand what is going on in their head if the person doesn't ever talk to you about it?<br />
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These are questions I ask myself. They are not meant to be rhetorical; feel free to answer them if you so desire. I welcome any constructive criticisms or responses. I hope you all have a blessed day.<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
Colossians 3:13Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-82348858116421808192011-10-12T09:11:00.000-05:002011-10-12T09:11:56.202-05:00MediocreHey everyone!<br />
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I am mediocre at life. What does that mean? Well, keep reading and you will find out!<br />
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I have somewhat alluded to this concept somewhat in <a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2011/02/curse.html">Curse</a>, but I want to really expand upon it now. This concept I have been developing in my mind for several years now, so bear with me as I try to explain it.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkYntSUep0qcxEiYQ3n8k1-2vT26Bkd9UGzmeqPmJDZUjjCDeS3huAdss80ymbDqlY27JkKCSFYIQH7iYgZRGx9rISmIYnLiw00sL1B5vDeagp83W9gVKxbF5UEnJpW_v83RyMDEfq9Ik/s1600/235050-21377_super.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgkYntSUep0qcxEiYQ3n8k1-2vT26Bkd9UGzmeqPmJDZUjjCDeS3huAdss80ymbDqlY27JkKCSFYIQH7iYgZRGx9rISmIYnLiw00sL1B5vDeagp83W9gVKxbF5UEnJpW_v83RyMDEfq9Ik/s320/235050-21377_super.jpg" width="320" /></a>Have you ever played any racing video games? Maybe arcade video games where you have to fight someone? Ever played Mario Kart? (If you haven't go along with me and I will try to explain. If you have, I will be showcasing my nerdiness for a little bit.) In every game where you can pick a different player, they always give you options about what style you can pick. For example, in Mario Kart, you can pick Toad or Yoshi, who have very fast acceleration. Or you can pick Wario or DK, who have very fast top speed. When you pick those players, you have to sacrifice something else in order to get the top whatever you want. To have top acceleration with Yoshi, you have to sacrifice the weight class (meaning turning will be harder and other players can bump into you and spin you out). To have top speed, you can play as Wario, but you have to sacrifice acceleration (so every time you crash, it takes forever for you to get back up to your speed again).<br />
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Are any of these better than the other one? No! Absolutely not! It all depends on your playing style. There is no best character in Mario Kart; each character can win depending on who is doing the controlling on the controller. Each player selects the character that most fits their playing style and uses that. That is why there are many options to choose from, because not every person races the same way.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJgYu2N33pbLX61wEg5v1z3ebqwVcPY0AQonLGu2UR7dwP6xlz57clWZ8Jx2ftIuYxcaBOl_NFOSC0MyQmRa_lg_-ALz6E2B74UxXNtd9KVLS_xG7L8L05iXgLLbRr-hvNvi21EUUWN7E/s1600/mario_kart-12813.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgJgYu2N33pbLX61wEg5v1z3ebqwVcPY0AQonLGu2UR7dwP6xlz57clWZ8Jx2ftIuYxcaBOl_NFOSC0MyQmRa_lg_-ALz6E2B74UxXNtd9KVLS_xG7L8L05iXgLLbRr-hvNvi21EUUWN7E/s1600/mario_kart-12813.jpg" /></a>What about Mario? Mario tends to be the all around average character. Mario does not have top speed, top acceleration, or top turning. Mario is just well rounded and is great for pretty much anyone to use when they are beginning.<br />
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Many times, I feel like Mario. As I go through life, I feel like there is no one thing I excel at. I don't have "top speed" or "top turning." I am not great at singing (but I can hold a tune if I really focus), I can draw basic drawings if I <i>really </i>concentrate, I don't play many instruments (and those instruments I do know I don't play exceptionally well), I am okay at sports (enough to not lose all the time), I can act enough to play minor roles in plays, I can public speak if needed (but it isn't very eloquent), I can write enough to convey my thoughts (but I am not very poetic in my writing style), and I'm friendly but not really charismatic.<br />
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Based on my experience in life through meeting people and talking with them, everyone seems to be good at at least <i>something. </i>Most people tend to excel in one particular area: whether that be the arts, athletics, communication, video games, writing, etc. I don't. There isn't one area I excel at.<br />
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For <i>years</i> that annoyed me. I always remembered filling out those questionnaire stuff in school that had questions like, "What are you good at?" I always hated that questions. I had no idea what I was good at. I would start to write, "video games" then I remembered that my friends beat me in them all the time. I started to write, "soccer" but then I remembered I was benched often during games. I started to write, "writing" but then I remembered the teacher's marks from previous years on my papers on where I messed up. I started to write, "drawing" but I remembered my friends mistaking a robot I drew for a cow. For years I had no idea how to answer that question. When trying to find the purpose God had for my life, well meaning Christians would ask, "Well, what are you good at?" And I would think and answer, "I don't know!" Then they would reply, with as much caring and grace as they had, "Oh, come on! Don't be modest! Tell me what you're good at." To which I replied, "No, I really don't know." They would frown in confusion and I would shrug my shoulders, a look of "I'm really sorry?" on my face.<br />
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I think the main problem we run into in analyzing this question is our comparisons. It is SO EASY to compare ourselves to other people. I still do it today, and I don't realize it at first. When we look for purpose or look for success, we tend to look at first what the world recognizes as successful and then look to our friends and compare ourselves to them.<br />
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First off, the world's perspective is wrong. What the rest of the world will tell you is good and successful is wrong. Money, fame, popularity, and being liked are not things to strive after. Material possessions and praise will only make you feel fulfilled for so long. We need to look to a higher goal if we are to find our real purpose in life.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuWMB90QSc3cPjBZPqgsFM7VBSDkragTllXOMBr2iXH9brYh_lGHm1Vp51GWviddWqyzOTkZZMsow_0Jtm7FbnVFrHUeXlJqbNmJzgfk-F2ua8leQXy5hm8eEfj9lcib2WVoNBs__Q6xk/s1600/man-playing-guitar-4.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="219" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiuWMB90QSc3cPjBZPqgsFM7VBSDkragTllXOMBr2iXH9brYh_lGHm1Vp51GWviddWqyzOTkZZMsow_0Jtm7FbnVFrHUeXlJqbNmJzgfk-F2ua8leQXy5hm8eEfj9lcib2WVoNBs__Q6xk/s320/man-playing-guitar-4.gif" width="320" /></a>When we realize that the world doesn't have what we want, we tend to turn to people we are closest to and then we compare our lives to theirs. "My friend Billy is really good at music and he finds so much purpose in singing and playing guitar. Dang... I really wish I could play guitar like Billy..." The thought behind this is, "If I can be good at one thing, then I will be fulfilled."<br />
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I bought into this lie for years. It took me until high school to figure this out. I went to a camp one year and God called me to the ministry. If you haven't heard about my call experience, read about it here in Call. I was confused. I didn't know what to believe or think. But it was through that moment that God showed me what my ministry was. I was to literally be "all things to all people." Wherever God wanted me to go, I would go and He would equip me for that task.<br />
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I discovered something about myself: God didn't bless me in one area because I wasn't supposed to serve in once area. I was to be available to do whatever is necessary until someone else could step in and do it better. I can relate to a wide variety of people because I dabble in pretty much everything to some degree. I am a gamer, I can play sports, I know music, I can act, etc.<br />
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When I took my focus off of comparing myself to other people saying I wasn't really good at anything, I realized that I was just okay at everything. God made me this way for a reason, and I am just beginning to understand it and live it out. I am okay with who I am now and how God made me. I love it!<br />
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I am a Mario. I am mediocre. And I'm okay with that!<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
1 Corinthians 9:22Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-27165224923611786432011-10-11T21:15:00.000-05:002011-10-11T21:15:07.938-05:00CallHey everyone!<div>
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I thought I would let you know why I have "Following His Call," at the end of every post. It seems rather hyper-Christian at times. Why don't I just put, "Yours truly?" Why don't I put a signature at the bottom at all? </div>
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Well, for one, I can never spell "truly" right. The autocorrect always fixes it for me. (Thank God for spell check! I would not be a blogger if it was not for spell check! I would be too embarrassed to write for fear I would spell something wrong and then everyone would laugh at me.) </div>
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Secondly, I have had a very radical encounter with God that changed my life forever. Well, actually two encounters, but I will tell you the later. (You can read somewhat about the other one in <a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2011/09/holy.html">Holy</a>.)Do you want to hear it? Of course you do! Or you wouldn't be on this blog right now. </div>
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Between my eighth and ninth grade year, we went to a summer camp. The camp emphasized worship: what is worship and how do we do it? It was pretty intense. One night, they had a 3 hour service with music, videos, skits, and a message. After the music played for a while and started to die down, I could see the speaker walking on stage to start to speak (I was in the front row). Rather than starting to pray like he normally did to start off his message, he motioned for the band to keep playing and told the light-guys to keep the lights off. He started to speak: </div>
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"I have to admit, this is probably the weirdest thing I have ever done as a minister. I felt a very strong urge from God telling me that I don't need to speak tonight. So I am not going to. I had this message prepared, but I realized that it is not needed. The Holy Spirit is so present tonight in this room, that if you feel the urge to come forward and accept Christ, come forward."<br /><br />About a dozen people walked forward (out of about five hundred people present). I sat down; I was overwhelmed by all the people going forward from just the worship. I put my elbows on my knees, cradling my head with my hands, emotionally overwhelmed. I was so joyful, thanking God for this miraculous event. </div>
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After he got counselors for each of those who walked forward and ushered them out of the room to talk to the counselors, he started to address the crowd again:<br /><br />"And I normally don't do this either, but I really feel God pressing this on my heart, so I will say it: If you feel called to the ministry, go ahead and come on to the front. I won't explain what that is exactly, just know if you are called, come forward."</div>
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I was hearing him, but I wasn't really listening. You know what I mean? Have you ever heard someone say something but not really comprehend what they said at the time? I mean, I could hear him enough to remember what he was saying, but at the moment it didn't process.<br /><br />As I sat there, I felt the urge to walk forward. Having not really listened, I said in my mind, "No, God. I have been saved. Why do I need to go forward?" I felt it again, an urge in my chest and stomach to stand up and walk forward. "Why?" I asked Him again. "I don't understand. I have been saved. I know this. What is up at the front for me?" Finally, it felt like someone gently lifted me off my rear; as if they had placed their hands on my lower back and pushed me up.<br /><br />I stood up and looked around to see if anyone was behind me. (I was at the end of a row, so I thought someone came down the isle and was pushing the back of my chair where there was a hole, trying to get my attention.) I distinctly remember looking into empty folding seats behind me and being very confused. But once I was up, I walked the very short distance to the front, where several dozen people have gathered. Two of my friends were up there. I stood next to one of them; he put arm around me, tears in his eyes. I started to ask him what was going on, but the speaker continued:</div>
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"If you all will follow these gentlemen through those doors back here and divide into different groups by church and sit together, I will be with you in a moment." As we started walking back, he addressed the crowd, "Youth leaders, if you see students from your church heading back there, could you follow them and join their group." </div>
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We entered the back conference room and I found seven other members of my church. When two of our leaders came in, we sat in chairs in the very back. The speaker came in and stood at the front of the room and addressed us again. He spoke about how God had called us to the vocational ministry, meaning we were going to be the next generation of missionaries, pastors, youth pastors, children's pastor, music ministers, etc. He made sure to let us know we were <i>not</i> an elite or different from other people, we were simply called by God for a particular task. He told us to go around the circle now and talk about it; let everyone from our church know what was going on in our heart. Our youth leaders were supposed to guide the conversation and let us talk.</div>
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We turned in our group and went around discussing what we experienced. People from my church were like, "God has called me to be a children's minister!" "I feel God has called me to the mission field." "I'm going to be an evangelist!" "I love working with youth, so I think I am to be a youth pastor." "God wants me to be a senior pastor."<br /><br />And then it gets to me... "I..." I started," I... I don't know why I am here. I don't know what God has called me to... I like working with youth?" That was the hardest thing for me to come to grips with, not knowing what to do. My mentor was in the circle, and for the next few months, he was very patient with me as he helped me to work out my calling. </div>
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My youth pastor was also working with me. He went through a study with us about the calling experience to make sure we weren't acting out of emotion. That was the biggest help for me more than anything else. I definitely didn't want to just act out of emotion. Even though I had no idea what I was going to do in the ministry, I knew I wanted to serve God with all my being. </div>
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The single question that I felt solidify what I was wrestling with inside was this: "Adam, could you see yourself content doing anything else other than being in the ministry?" It took me a while to really think about that, because there were several other things I really wanted to do--like go into film, for instance. However, the more I thought about it, the more I could not get my mind off the ministry concept. I had no idea where I was going or what I was doing, but I honestly couldn't see myself doing anything but serving God. </div>
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It took me several months to understand my calling fully. Finally, after a conversation with my mentor, I think I finally got it. My call isn't to one specific field. As my mentor suggested, "Maybe you already have your answer to the question you have been asking. You have been asking, 'What am I supposed to do, God?' And maybe his response is just that: 'What.'" What he was saying is that my call is "What": I need to be available to do<i> whatever </i>God would have me do<i> wherever</i> he places me. Instead of one ministry, I am called to literally be "all things to all people." Wherever there is a ministry position to be filled, I am there to fill it. I can be anything, and He will equip me for each work. </div>
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The calling experience isn't something that can really be described.... It is like a sixth sense... or a feeling one has. A person can't just decide to be a minister one day. Because if they do, they will leave the ministry in a few years after their first experience. Ministry is hard! You deal with really dumb, thickheaded people who will not yield; you have to extinguish fires between two warring people; you have to listen to people's problems and counsel them, even when sometimes you want to just tell them to get over it; you have to organize a budget and plan for a source of income that totally depends on people's willingness to give; you have to publicly speak every week about topics that could offend people. It's like having twelve different jobs all merged into one. Nobody picks that for themselves.<br /><br />The best way I can describe the call is that you are constantly thinking about it in some way; you are literally being pulled to it. When I worked as a meat cutter, I found myself naturally counseling, witnessing, and loving on people I worked with. It was like I had my own mini-church in the meat department. No matter what field you are in, if you are called, you will constantly be pulled towards whatever God wants you to do. in that field </div>
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The call is one of the best experiences in the world. You feel like you are fitting exactly in place, like all is right in the world. When financial troubles come your way, you can work through it, because you have this peace that you are in the right place. When people start to accuse you and belittle you, making your question everything you believe, you still pull through (speaking from personal experience here). </div>
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I think it is very important to note that the Calling is not for everyone. And it doesn't mean those called are more special than those who are not. God calls EVERY person to a task; EVERYONE experiences their own call in some way. To some He calls to be teachers; to others, construction workers. He calls some to be accountants or marketers, and others soldiers or farmers. Everyone has their own calling, but for some it is vocational ministry. </div>
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So what have you been called to?</div>
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Following His Call,</div>
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Adam</div>
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Isaiah 6:8</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-69442552299228883652011-09-27T20:26:00.000-05:002011-09-27T20:26:06.460-05:00BloggersHey everyone!<br />
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Today I was the "Editor's Pick of the Day" on <a href="http://bloggers.com/">Bloggers</a>. If you don't know what Bloggers is, it basically is a social networking site for people who blog. I noticed one of my friends was on it, so I thought I would join too, to try to get my blog spread around to more people.<br />
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While being the "Editor's Pick of the Day" sounds really cool and an honor, there are three people each day that are the "Editor's Pick." I have a feeling these things three are just chosen at random, so I'm not totally blown away about being on the front page of the website and having everyone see my blog. Still, I am totally humbled and grateful that other people are seeing my blog and reading it.<br />
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So far, I have noticed I have about fourteen of you all who are dedicated followers. I would hug and kiss you all if I could as a sign of thanks. Well, maybe not the kissing part. I am okay with kissing, but American society dictates that kissing is inappropriate behavior among certain people, so I will refrain. Oh, how that bugs me: our double standards in this nation! But I will save that rant for another blogpost....<br />
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I thought I would take this time to thank you all for following me and reading my blog. I can't express enough in words just how much you all mean to me, knowing that you are reading what I say and actually listening. It feels nice to be listened to and not taken out of context. It is nice to vent to people and feel loved and accepted by them. All of you have a very special place in my heart, and I thank you for being patient with me in the good times and bad.<br />
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Every comment you write makes me feel appreciated and accepted. All the encouragement thrown my way drives me on, wanting to to more. I hope you all feel blessed by what I write I as i am as blessed by what you write.<br />
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I thought I would also give some shout-outs to some of my favorite blogger friends. Besides <a href="http://jonacuff.com/">Jon Acuff</a> (who I follow rather religiously) and <a href="http://edstetzer.com/">Ed Stetzer</a> (who I recently started following), there are a few good friends of mine who have some pretty cool blogs.<br />
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My good friend and roommate, Ian Reed, has a blog called <a href="http://excessthought.blogspot.com/">Excess Thought</a>. I always enjoy his posts, even though recently dedicated more of his time to vlogging. You should follow him at <a href="http://www.youtube.com/iamslightlyawesome">I Am Slightly Awesome</a> on YouTube. He's a pretty awesome guy.<br />
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Susan Horak, another GREAT friend of mine always has some amazingly powerful things to say at her blog, <a href="http://searchingforsusan.wordpress.com/">Searching for Susan</a>. She is a sweet young woman--so real and lovable--who, in an attempt to discover herself, shares some helpful insights that impact all of us.<br />
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Jon Street and I go way back, and in his blog <a href="http://wordfromthestreet1.wordpress.com/">Word From the Street</a>, he relates real life questions and problems we deal with every day and brings them to us in a new light. I always look forward to hearing his unique perspective, because oftentimes, he portrays something in a way I have never thought before.<br />
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<a href="http://thejourneyjustbegun.blogspot.com/">The Journey has Just Begun</a> belongs to my college friend and fellow comrade in mischief-making, Tiffany Najbart. Her blog revolves around the random musings in her head and the thoughts she experiences. Her way of writing always calms me down and reminds me to not take life so seriously all the time.<br />
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When one of my best friends moved to Alaska, I thought I would never see him again. Yet I still get to follow Kevin Lawson on his blog <a href="http://kevininalaska.wordpress.com/">Kevin in Alaska</a>. I really miss that kid. He writes about his living in America's last true frontier and makes me uber jealous for not being there with him.<br />
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Jill Overturf, one of my most favoritest people, talks about her church planting experiences as well as her new life in a new town in her blog <a href="http://thoughtsabovethecanopy.blogspot.com/">Thoughts Above the Canopy</a>. I always enjoy hearing stories from her about her adventures--and sometimes misadventures--of parenting and children's ministry.<br />
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My newest friend may be a little zealous, taking on two blogs at the same time. But I know Adam Swensen: he is a world changer and has the charisma to do it. In <a href="http://thenextgeneration.wordpress.com/">The Next Generation</a>, he makes a plea for our generation to take a stand and do something in this world; to make a change and impact this world for Christ. He also is writing with two of his other friends in a blog that was just started called <a href="http://singularspectrum.wordpress.com/">Singular Spectrum</a>. I am excited to see how this one turns out. I am really happy at what I have read so far.<br />
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Last but certainly not least comes the wonderful blog of Deanna Leiber. As a Medieval History buff (and basically history buff in general) she writes in her blog <a href="http://annaleshistoriae.blogspot.com/">Annales Historiae</a> about really cool interesting stuff in history you may have never heard before. I always read it and walk away saying, "Huh... I never knew that before. That was really cool!"<br />
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I hope you all would support them as well as they support me. Again, I have said this a dozen times, but I love you all and I pray God blesses you very richly! I thank God for you all often. God bless!<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
Philippians 1:3Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-74620442368800883332011-09-25T23:43:00.000-05:002011-09-25T23:43:37.307-05:00MeditationHey everyone!<br />
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Alright, I know <a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2011/09/freefall.html">Freefall</a> was rather deep and serious, so I thought I would make this post somewhat lighter. But you know me, I can't just write a post without making some serious point. So I will wrap it all up in the end.<br />
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The other day we had to do a "Meditation Experiment" in my Hindu class. We sat there, following the professor's instructions as he led us through this exercise.He made sure to let us know that he was not asking us to participate in any religious experience... just an "empirical observational experiment". <i>Right.</i>..<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxlvYop3Mu4VwYwhR7dGZZW8sy_iSBtHS94oYtG2gqxqaJPcQ42eda9YokZ0PzuLJXaeEGYTtBsDQ_UcVCQi02Sfry3ndHAM2Y4apoVcSk-Im2Cr9OUcOwpvge6hSulzaenqMcYImUAAk/s1600/seniors-doing-chair-yoga-3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjxlvYop3Mu4VwYwhR7dGZZW8sy_iSBtHS94oYtG2gqxqaJPcQ42eda9YokZ0PzuLJXaeEGYTtBsDQ_UcVCQi02Sfry3ndHAM2Y4apoVcSk-Im2Cr9OUcOwpvge6hSulzaenqMcYImUAAk/s1600/seniors-doing-chair-yoga-3.jpg" /></a>We started off by sitting in our chairs, feet flat on the floor, with our eyes closed. Then he asked us to put our hands up by our head, make fists, like we were about to lift weights above our head. He said that we would extend our arms above our heads, open our hands wide and take a huge breath in. After our hands were up, we were to "grab an invisible bar" above our heads and pull it down very quickly and let all our air out of our lungs. We followed his instructions, taking fifteen breaths that way in rapid order while doing Hindu-robics--or whatever he called it.<br />
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I couldn't help but envision how funny we all must have looked. I had to take a peek to see what we looked like. As we were pumping our arms up and down and breathing, I peeked one eye open and looked around and almost laughed out loud. We all looked do ridiculous! We honestly looked like some cult. I had to literally bite my lip to not laugh.<br />
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After our... exercise?... he told us to rest our hands on our thighs, palms up and just relax, breathing normally, and listen to the thoughts around us. So I did, and the thoughts that kept coming to my head was, "Oh my gosh! What if someone walked in while we were doing that and they just froze at the door and then slowly backed out as if they had just walked in the middle of a funeral?" I kept laughing at the hypothetical look on the imaginary person's face.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMB5QttDTKxtsT736gSD9c879hPBFLjgUytLsVyHauG2eGN6LQ0UpULUY05RRAmPwjFHXdG6snWTp7Cz7X54q9YNZefVqRkr9Hqb3PIlY4HEFnzx4nnpg7CHdiHCouHgEzt-g1QYKErHA/s1600/senior%252520woman%252520exercising%252520in%252520chair.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMB5QttDTKxtsT736gSD9c879hPBFLjgUytLsVyHauG2eGN6LQ0UpULUY05RRAmPwjFHXdG6snWTp7Cz7X54q9YNZefVqRkr9Hqb3PIlY4HEFnzx4nnpg7CHdiHCouHgEzt-g1QYKErHA/s1600/senior%252520woman%252520exercising%252520in%252520chair.jpg" /></a>We did the exercise two more times after that. Each time it became increasingly difficult to keep myself from laughing. I'm pretty sure my neighbor noticed my exotic noises, but I didn't open my eyes to see if she was looking at me weird. I know, I am immature about these things.<br />
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Our instructor warned us afterwards not to do this breathing exercise in excess; that it could draw too much energy into the body and we could overdose by doing it. Yes, he was totally serious. I couldn't help but laugh at that. I learned later that this type of yoga is used for seniors because of its low impact on the body (hence the ridiculous pictures on this post).<br />
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After our breathing for the third time, he just had us sit there without moving as he helped direct and focus our thoughts. I really don't know what he said after "relax" because that is exactly where my body went. I'm one of those people who, once their body is in motion it remains in motion, otherwise when I stop I stop. That is why reading is so hard for me: I tend to fall asleep because my body is not moving. Each time I stop moving to rest, my body thinks it is rest-time, so I start to conk out.<br />
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So you can imagine what happened when he told me to sit totally still and not move with my eyes closed... Yep, I totally fell asleep. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the point of the exercise, but I did. Thankfully, I realized I had fallen asleep about half way through, because I woke up with a start and opened my eyes to see everyone around the room still eyes closed listening to the professor.<br />
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I won't lie that I was tempted in the moment to just scream at the top of my lungs and scare the living daylights out of everyone, including the teacher... but I didn't want and F for the course, so.... yeah....<br />
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I closed my eyes again and decided to go into my own meditation world. I started to pay to God. I discovered a new appreciation for meditation. It felt like I was totally alone with God in this empty room with no sound or anything: just me and him. In the quiet space inside my thoughts, I could be totally open and honest and only He would know what was said. I could talk to Him totally freely without distraction or fear of anyone finding out. So I did. I told Him my worries and prayed for my friends in that moment.<br />
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I had forgotten how cool meditating on scripture and prayer was. I need to start doing that more often... just not by breathing like a frightened, hyperventilating bank robber. I will try to make time each day to just go into my meditation bubble and talk to God, just me and Him. You should try it sometime too. It's amazing what you will hear when you quiet your mind down enough to where you can actually listen.<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
2 Timothy 2:7Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-15317974153355820192011-09-25T17:00:00.004-05:002011-09-25T17:00:38.414-05:00FreefallHey everyone!<br />
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I thought I would share with you a dream I had last night and the lessons I learned from it.<br />
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I was at a party, for what reason, I don't know. (Does one ever know the purpose of stuff like this in a dream?) At one point, one of my friend's parents asked me to go get something from the convenience store down the street. I agreed and grabbed my keys, heading to the door. After being periodically stopped by random people who wanted to talk to me at the party, I made it out the door to my car.<br />
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It was twilight outside, and the house was about a mile away from the store. To get to the house I was at, you had to traverse down a long, dirt road which was about a ten miles long. Before you got to the house (about a quarter mile from the house) was a narrow, but very well constructed bridge that extended across a <i>very deep </i>and<i> very wide</i> ravine. The ravine cut very sharply into the rock and dropped about a two hundred feet. To prevent people from driving off the edge, large, four-foot high concrete dividers lined the sides of the bridge and along the road before getting to the bridge.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz_CXdU82xkBNxkYky5vxLy7NAXj-bWX4egklg7lgena7Iiw2pJJe3RecySwbjxQEF-SrGq98VPbE4cco_FdusJ8KexJziMPTMiJl8QNTcg53Y-qOFtq2ewXuDM0aI3y-3yA7qp_axAHA/s1600/redirect.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz_CXdU82xkBNxkYky5vxLy7NAXj-bWX4egklg7lgena7Iiw2pJJe3RecySwbjxQEF-SrGq98VPbE4cco_FdusJ8KexJziMPTMiJl8QNTcg53Y-qOFtq2ewXuDM0aI3y-3yA7qp_axAHA/s400/redirect.jpg" width="298" /></a>I got in the car and started down the road. I was playing my music and just enjoying the fading light of the sun. I crossed the bridge no problem, but as I crossed the bridge, I totally forgot the money to pay for the item. I slowed down, and did a three point turn on the small country road.<br />
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Trees and thick brush was on each side of the road, and as I backed up, I heard something grate along the bottom of my car. I winced, but I was already running late. Since the car seemed to be running normal, I continued on. As I straightened the car out and turned back towards the bridge, I sped up to the normal speed limit. Once I reached about 30 mph, the car started to rattle. I pressed the brake, but I didn't feel it working. I pressed harder, and it wasn't responding. I took my eyes from the road for a second to glance down to see if the pedal was broken by my foot. When I glanced back up, I saw my car drifting to the side of the road, to the <i>only</i> gap in the concrete blocks. Apparently, people had moved one of the concrete blocks to hike down the ravine. I tried to swerve the car, but the steering wheel was locked up and wouldn't respond to me. I reached for the emergency brake, but it was already too late.<br />
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The car screamed past the barricade and I was airborne, falling two hundred feet to my death.<br />
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In the few moments before the car went airborne, I remember being totally alert and awake. I can't say I panicked, because that implies I froze and couldn't move. The opposite happened: I was alert; I was alive. I did everything in my power to fix the situation. I couldn't fix it. So as I flew of the cliff, I remember this single thought: Since I couldn't fix it, I accept my fate. I knew I would die. Yet, this immense peace flooded over me.<br />
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Everything slowed down. It was like I was removed from my body--but I wasn't. It was so real. It didn't feel like a dream. I felt like I was literally falling. I wasn't afraid to die; I was ready to go home to my Lord. Honestly. The first thing I prayed was, "God, I'm ready to go home. I just ask you end it quickly. Could you flip the car over so I land on my head and die quickly?"<br />
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My thoughts quickly turned to my friends and family. I saw my friend's and family's faces flash through my mind. As I fell, I could literally see them, like they were in front of me. I didn't have any regrets, but I felt like there was unfinished business. I felt there was still more I could do to help them. Above all, one thought was so solid in my mind: I wished I could tell them one final goodbye; I wish I could tell them how much I love them.<br />
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So I started praying for them. I asked, "God, could you please let them know just how much I love them? Could you please take care of them and protect them? Guide them through their life and keep them so close to you."<br />
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All of this only lasted about ten seconds. At the last moment, the car inverted to where I was face-first with the ground. I leaned forward, ready to take the blow. I closed my eyes and said, "Take me home...."<br />
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I woke up before I hit. I sat up in bed thinking about what happened. I remembered my friends and family. The dream felt so real. I wasn't scared. I wasn't nervous. I didn't wake up in a cold sweat breathing hard. I just woke up.<br />
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I knew I hadn't died. I knew it was all a dream. But it still made me think. I thought about my friends and family and what they meant to me. I started to evaluate my own life: have I been the best friend/son/brother/boyfriend/citizen I could ever be? Have I been living like each day was my last?<br />
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The mantra of "Live like you are dying" has always been something I have tried to live by. Life is too short to be upset at people all the time. Life is too short to be critical and complain. Life is too short to hold grudges. Live your life. Live for what is right. Live for God. And remember to love. Love conquers all.<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
1 Corinthians 13:13Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-80894275672368693082011-09-08T15:57:00.001-05:002011-09-08T16:05:39.944-05:00ReincarnationHey everyone!<br />
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I had an assignment for my Hinduism class to watch these two short documentaries on reincarnation. It really got me thinking, so I thought I would share it with you. Oh no! I can feel you all taking deep breaths from here, not me mention I can hear you stomachs tying in knots. But let's not freak out; I just want to share some conversation. So before I am crucified, please read this whole thing.<br />
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First off, let me state right out that I do <i>not</i> believe in reincarnation. (I could hear that sigh of relief too.) However, the facts presented offer some interesting dilemmas. What facts? Well, if you have the time and really want to see two particularly interesting stories, watch these videos that were assigned for my class and that will give you a good start. If not, then move on to the next paragraph and I will just assume you are giving me the benefit of the doubt saying that there are situations out there that we simply cannot explain.<br />
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If you watched the videos, what did you think? Interesting stuff, eh? </div>
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No, I am not going to start off bashing all of this and prove why it is all wrong. My experience working with people tells me that doing stuff like that is pointless and a waste of time and energy. Instead, I thought I would share with you my heart involving these things. </div>
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As a skeptic, every time I hear stories about aliens, ghosts, or anything paranormal, I always chalk it up to psychological states. As a psychology-guy, that's how I work. I'm not being mean, I just believe there are a lot of things that can be explained away through our minds. </div>
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However, this stuff really has me puzzled. I can't seem to rationalize this stuff away; the evidence seems too strong. Most people who experience reincarnation stories have a crisis of faith; what is true anymore? Our Western, Judeo-Christian culture has taught us we have <i>one life</i> and <i>only one</i>. You are born, you live, you die. That's it. "And just as each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment." (Hebrews 9:27)</div>
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I'm not questioning that. I am not saying the Bible is wrong, and I never will. Again, I hit a roadblock where it seems like evidence contradicts Bible. So what do I do? I did the same thing most everyone should do when confronted with this type of situation: I prayed. Here is what God told me:</div>
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1) <i>"Adam, what does My Word say?" </i>He reminded me that I needed to get back to His Word more and focus on that and not all of the other crap that waste my time. The sense I got was not: "Adam, you need to get in My Word so you can use it to thump people and prove them wrong; use My Word to disprove all of this nonsense." That was not the message I got at all. This voice was loving and gentle, as if a Father was coaching me on what I should do next. The message was, in essence, "If you are living your life according to My Word and are applying it to your heart, then you don't have to worry about all of this extra nonsense." That is really what everything else apart from the Gospel of Jesus Christ is: nonsense. I will go as far to say that the rest of the Bible is nonsense if you don't read it through the lens of the cross and resurrection. Yeah... I went there...</div>
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2) <i>"Adam, there is so much more going on in this world than you will ever know." </i>No, that was not God saying: "Adam, reincarnation does exist." But it also was not Him saying, " I can't believe those people! Reincarnation is such a stupid idea!" I never pictured God saying that. The feeling I got from this basically was, "Why do you have to know everything, Adam? Why are you arguing over predestination or free-will? Why do you have to know <i>exactly</i> how the world ends? Would it make a difference if you knew every detail of Heaven? Because you can't comprehend it now anyway, so why try? Does knowing all the details of how life works change your salvation?" In the end, it doesn't. There are so many mysteries out there in the world that we will never understand in this life time; and that is okay. The mysteries are what make life fun. </div>
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What we need to do is be open to ideas like reincarnation, but always compare it to the Bible. We should not immediately shoot down ideas that are new to us. We should also not immediately accept everything we hear. God gave us brains to use, so we should use them. God gave us a Bible to guide our lives, and we should use it too. </div>
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It is okay to talk about this kind of thing. We should be educated on different ideas so we can, "in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect." (1 Peter 3:15) What if someone came up to you and asked about reincarnation and why you don't believe in it? If you tell them, "Because the Bible says it's wrong," you just lied because reincarnation is never anywhere in the Bible. Not to mention, if they believed in reincarnation, you just made the Bible their enemy. I'm pretty sure that God doesn't want the Bible to be an enemy to those He loves. </div>
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So what is my answer to reincarnation? What do I personally think of those videos above? I don't know. Is that a cop out? If you want it to be, sure. I know there is something going on there that goes beyond my level of knowledge. Whether it is brain imprinting, genetic memory, psychological encoding, or spiritual warfare. I am not smart enough to say. But I also am not shy to discuss it with people and get their views on it. All I know is the Truth I have been given. So I follow that. </div>
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Remember to guard you hearts, but keep your eyes and ears open. Be educated and learn new things, but always keep the cross at your core. Read the Bible and understand it, apply it to your life. When that happens, then you won't have to worry about these things like we talked about above.</div>
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So lets talk about them: What do you think about reincarnation? What did you think of those videos above?</div>
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Following His Call,</div>
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Adam</div>
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Psalm 119:105</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-79618946289797878122011-09-08T13:21:00.000-05:002011-09-08T13:21:26.217-05:00HolyHey everyone!<br />
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I got to write this paper for my Hindu Religions class about "The Holy", so I thought I would share it with you. It is an academic essay, so remember to read it through that perspective, but I figured someone would find it interesting. Enjoy!</div>
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My first experience of the holy came to me at a church camp. We were singing songs in worship after the sermon when all of the sudden I just felt this urge come over me. The pastor’s message was out of Isaiah chapter six and involved the vision Isaiah had of heaven. I believed that primed me for the similar experience I had next. <br />
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For some reason I felt overwhelmed, as if there was too much emotion in the room. The music possibly put me in the right mindset for this experience. I closed my eyes, and I suddenly felt so small and so inferior, like space and time literally split in front of me. It felt like I was in a different place. A wave of something… other… hit me. I couldn’t describe the feelings, but it made me fall to my knees and duck my head. I wasn’t fully afraid, but fear was present in my mind. I wasn’t overly euphoric either; I was at peace. A mixture of emotions flooded my mind: respect, contentment, compassion, humility, love; so much emotion made me bow down, my face to the ground. <br />
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As I lie there, the vision described in Isaiah chapter six filled my mind. I was in the throne room. The floor was tiled with large, pearly white and solid gold checkered squares. The room was indescribably large, yet at the same time did not feel large. I felt like I could walk over to the large pearly, Corinthian-style pillars that lined the “walls” of the room. For some reason I could not separate the walls from the floor and ceiling because there was no definite distinction between them. <br />
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I “looked” ahead and saw a large throne with two square pillars next to it, basins with coals suspended with gold hooks above them. As my eyes looked up the throne—which was simultaneously tall and distant, yet intimately close—seraphim flew around with two wings covering their face, two covering their feet, and two flying. For some reason I could not bring my eyes to the top of the throne, where I knew He—my God—was seated. As I tried to look up more, my eyes were suddenly diverted back down to the ground. <br />
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Again, a wave of the “other” feeling hit me. I ducked down once more and started crying out of the raw emotion hitting me. I looked up briefly again to see a majestic purple cloth descending from the throne, sweeping around the floor, as if being blown by some unknown wind. <br />
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The room began to shake and what seemed like lightning filled the room. Every time a “bolt” hit me, I was reminded of all the things I did wrong. I was both embarrassed and humbled at the touch of the “bolt. I didn’t want to look up. As I was lying there, suddenly I felt something soft touch my back and a wave of pure peace filled my body. It felt like everything was going to be okay; it felt a form of love that went beyond the physical and relational. This love, to this day, I cannot describe, but it gave me so much peace and security. I looked up to see the purple robe fall off my back and continue sweeping across the room. <br />
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The music died down and I slowly came out of the trance I was in. As I climbed to my feet, my mind was confused. Was what I experienced real? Was it a dream, a vision? Was it just my mind reacting to the message and the music? Was that God? To me, it did not matter what just happened. I did not care if people would not believe be or said I just hallucinated. I still vividly remember that vision to this day. The emotions I felt and the vision I saw was real enough for me. It spoke to me on a different level, a level no person had spoken to me ever before. No feeling on this world made me feel better than that experience, even with the feelings of shame and fear mixed in with the positive feelings. This experience forever altered my life; it was my first experience with pure holiness. From that day on, I dedicated myself to Christ and His teachings. <br />
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Based on that experience, holiness to me is a beautiful paradox. Paradoxes normally have a negative connotation and evoke confusion and dissonance in a person. However, these paradoxes describe something else entirely. Both sorrow and joy existed at the same time. I felt both anger and calm simultaneously. Parallel and intersecting with these feelings was, as I stated before, this feeling of the “other.” It was not something that I was familiar with, an emotion totally foreign, yet comforting and familiar. Most of the feelings intertwined with the feeling of the “other” I was familiar with, yet the feeling of the “other” was so foreign. The closest thing I can describe the “other” to is the feeling you get when someone is watching you or you feel someone else is in the room. Yet, this feeling was welcoming and lovely. <br />
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From my studies of Judeo-Christian culture, Judaism envisions their God as “the Other,” and that description seemed to make sense. The Jewish God was paradoxical: distant, yet intimately close. There was Elohim who created the world with all powerful might and YHWH, who walked in the garden with Adam and Eve. This Other, seemingly contradictory relationship is what I view as holy and consequently relates to my religion. <br />
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Holiness is not confined to an object or a person; it cannot be for it is entirely other. Since nothing material can gain sacredness, consequently it cannot lose sacredness. I would connect holiness to a deity, given that I believe in a higher power. Holiness is not something tangible, but an experience. It is not something that can be handled or given, it is something revealed. <br />
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Which brings an interesting point: Hebrews 10:10 states that “we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” To me, this holiness is not material, but spiritual. Our spiritual bodies have been made right and clean like His in order that we can experience the holy completely. Without Christ’s sacrifice, no one could experience the holy totally. In my personal experience, God reveals himself to certain people, it is not something we can control or experience on our own accord. <br />
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All in all, holiness can be described as a spiritual experience, revealed by God, which is indescribably other from the self yet paradoxically encompasses all of the emotions of the human experience. On one hand, the experience felt cannot be described with language and on the other hand, the experience enraptures all human emotions simultaneously: from fear to euphoria, from sorrow to contentment, from worry to compassion. God exposes this feeling to humans through revelation, an experience not achieved from one’s own purposes. Despite what people may say about my own experience, to me it was life-altering enough to where it still impacts my faith today. </div>
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Following His Call, </div>
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Adam</div>
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Hebrews 10:10</div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-26160454027067548292011-09-05T11:29:00.001-05:002011-09-05T11:30:31.240-05:00ChildishHey everyone!<br />
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Its my senior year at college. For those of you who have been here before, you know it is truly a bittersweet time. On the one hand, I am thrilled and excited to be graduating (FINALLY! I mean, seventeen years of school?! I'm ready to be done. At least for a little while...). On the other hand, it is frightening to finally be totally out on your own. The real world is scary. I am just so rudely thrust out there and forced to be a real adult making real money and doing adult-like things. Sheesh!<br />
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But I still plan on holding onto my childish nature. I mean, come on, for those of you who know me, you know I am very childish at times. I am a child at heart, that is for sure. Some of you I may annoy to death at how childish and immature I am. Some of you may appreciate my goofiness because I break the tension or remind you to lighten up. There is one thing I do know: Jesus told us, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." (Matthew 18:3-4 NLT)<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiczFsodeFqpvU6bx6r13Uv06zqBlg4kNNRREvPyjpnlXrtDQZwGBpIUfsBTnvimN7ksCu0UAeDHjGs2bynxIzmte5Uw6zY7Z3gJ-czrjfZGQjc9XF8sYAlYG17cswbY6aPip_9dk2FXbY/s1600/childlike-wonder-copy.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiczFsodeFqpvU6bx6r13Uv06zqBlg4kNNRREvPyjpnlXrtDQZwGBpIUfsBTnvimN7ksCu0UAeDHjGs2bynxIzmte5Uw6zY7Z3gJ-czrjfZGQjc9XF8sYAlYG17cswbY6aPip_9dk2FXbY/s400/childlike-wonder-copy.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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At the same time, I am realizing there is a huge difference from "becoming like a child" and "doing childish things." Paul tells us, "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 13:11 NLT). I am really realizing more and more what this verse means as I get older and am heading out on my own.<br />
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When I was in high school, I thought I was big and bad. I was a "young adult" and in many ways I expected to be treated like one (I know, very arrogant of me). I loved it when people called me "young man" or "sir" or "young adult." It made me feel important and older.<br />
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Now that I am in college and have been greatly humbled in many ways (I'm still not done being taught humility yet; God is still teaching me), I see things differently. I have been praying for humility for a long time, and God has been answering faithfully those prayers (however, I also believe we are never done learning humility; I look forward to all of the lessons God will be teaching me in the future). It is amazing how the opposite has occurred now: I prefer to be called "kid" or some other word diminishing my age. I'm not old by any stretch of the imagination (although I frequently make annoying comments like, "Man, I'm getting old."), but I still prefer to be called "kid."<br />
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I believe that is what I am--a kid, compared to the majority of the world. I still have so much to learn. People are so much wiser than I am. I don't know it all. I still make huge mistakes. I still screw up. I'm okay with making mistakes. I know I am still growing. In the mean time, I like being called "kid".<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2fFMeVzfs0YF7ywJPy8j0vDH2h6N5HramTdMwKo3R6U7qeUajsHSb7ILN0UivqjSIg6zpUtTCC6som5FE9Avmet0rtxvLsNsq0IjtqONAQs6bKB-8YcCNphzqJx8tRJHlS4u3mseE82A/s1600/2433634201_7e37b5d903.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="195" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2fFMeVzfs0YF7ywJPy8j0vDH2h6N5HramTdMwKo3R6U7qeUajsHSb7ILN0UivqjSIg6zpUtTCC6som5FE9Avmet0rtxvLsNsq0IjtqONAQs6bKB-8YcCNphzqJx8tRJHlS4u3mseE82A/s200/2433634201_7e37b5d903.jpg" width="200" /></a>But being called "kid" doesn't mean I should still act like one. This is what it all boils down to: like I said before, there is a difference between "becoming like a child" and "doing childish things." It is a difference of thought, heart, and behavior. Our hearts should always be like children's: nonjudgmental, pure, innocent, loving, curious, compassionate, caring, etc.<br />
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Conversely, our behavior (for the most part) should be like adults. We should no longer waste hours of time playing with toys on the floor. We should no longer whine and complain when we don't get our way. We should not dress up and play pretend out in the yard by ourselves (because our neighbors will probably think we have finally lost it).<br />
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That is not to say we shouldn't have fun. There comes a time when we need to relax and we can revert back to our childhood and have fun. Especially if/when we have kids of our own. We should never lose that child-like wonder and fascination with the world. But we cannot keep those childish things at the expense of our life and jobs. I believe this is what Paul was referring to when he said, "I put away the childish things." There comes a point in our lives when we must grow up.<br />
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The battleground is our mind. Our mind is what can possess both the childish and the adult. We can enjoy our childlike wonder and still possess the mind of an adult. This is what Jesus was saying when He said, "become like little children." I am still learning this as I am getting older and venturing our into the real world.<br />
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I think I can best summarize my thoughts with an example of a girl named Laura:<br />
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Laura was homeschooled and raised by two loving Christian parents who always did what they thought was best for their daughter. While her life was far from perfect and their family never had much money, she always had everything she needed.<br />
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During her childhood, she would sit in front of the TV and watch hours of cartoons, inserting herself into the plots and stories of the shows she would watch. She also read religiously, inserting herself into the books she read and visualizing herself within those stories.<br />
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Laura was so creative, and thus created stories of her own. She would depict these stories to her friends in vivid detail and describe the stories for hours. Laura became great at verbalizing the intricate plot and images she saw in her head. It was no surprised when Laura confessed in high school that she wanted to be an author.<br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4gDdhlPAkimUf2_rgF0lKn5-itGmAGwy3dQejmJPAjvsgHfKq3zoJmp7p9BEmvsziX4XnGOy6BFTZcpNy1Z99C5P0MngTgHy4eZsX3ia_a5oYxbdkWJt5nTxq14QiBbvs_NFYBvEGerA/s1600/childlike-wonder.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg4gDdhlPAkimUf2_rgF0lKn5-itGmAGwy3dQejmJPAjvsgHfKq3zoJmp7p9BEmvsziX4XnGOy6BFTZcpNy1Z99C5P0MngTgHy4eZsX3ia_a5oYxbdkWJt5nTxq14QiBbvs_NFYBvEGerA/s1600/childlike-wonder.jpg" /></a>College came about, and Laura was blessed enough to receive a full ride. While at college, her creativity exploded, but sadly, her work ethic did not. She would sit or stand for hours, staring off into space, creating dozens of stories in her mind. Laura would<br />
then call her friends and describe to them those stories. She would also go online and find new songs, movies, and television shows to watch to inspire her further. Venturing out from animation, she fell in love with science fiction television shows as well as superhero shows. Laura even involved herself in a role-playing game club to expand her characters and grab new ideas.<br />
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All this time, she would only occasionally write down her thoughts onto paper. With all her brilliant ideas, she never finished one book. Every time she would work on one book, she would get bored with it and jump onto another idea. Eventually, she decided that she would start small, and finish a short story first before she tackled any larger projects.<br />
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Summer rolled around after her junior year and she told herself the goal for that summer was to write a short story she had developed the past school year. Her mother offered to help her get a job, but she never took the time or effort to get a job that summer. Summer moved by very quickly, and when the time came for school to start, Laura had not written a single page. What had she done all summer? She watched movies, television shows, and listened to music. Laura would go on walks and just admire nature, creating even more ideas in her head. She thought about everything, analyzing it until it could not be analyzed any more. But she never did any work. All of it stayed locked up in her head.<br />
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Now Laura is a senior in college and in a few short months she will be released into the real world with no work experience, no job, and nothing but her creativity to fuel her. Sadly, Laura is still living in a dream world--the world of a child, full of imagination and creativity. While these are noble qualities, they have interfered with her ability to function sufficiently in the real world. When Laura hits graduation in May, she is going to be in a world of shock.<br />
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I can relate to Laura in so many ways (in fact, part of that narration I pulled directly from my personality). Laura needs to learn to hold onto her child-like creativity, wonder, and imagination while still learning to put away the childish things in order to become an adult and function in the real world.<br />
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The real world is scary, but also so wonderful. I have always seen it as the adventure: the Great Unknown, the Wild West, or "Space: the Final Frontier." I try to look optimistically at the future and look forward to what God has in store. Pray for me as I step forward and God directs me what to do next.<br />
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So what about you? Have you ever felt this way? Do you have a story about entering the real world?<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
1 Corinthians 13:11Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-17406079633115236202011-09-05T10:11:00.001-05:002011-09-05T10:11:51.154-05:00RestartHey everyone!<br />
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For those of you who are still with me, thank you for muscling through the past few months. They have been rough for me as I have been traveling. I haven't been able to post as much as I wanted exactly when I wanted, but I still managed. I promise to get back to the basics here once again very soon.<br />
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For those of you who are regular readers and followers of my blog, I want to apologize to you. My blog has not been fulfilling what its original purpose was as I outlined in <a href="http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2010/10/what-is-edge-x.html">my first blogpost.</a> One of my mentors has brought to my attention how the past summer's posts on my travels haven't all been as straight to the point as my other posts have been. For that, I am sorry.<br />
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However, I hope that my travel journals have allowed you to learn more about me and who I am as a person. I hope you laughed, cried, and felt the frustration I felt along the trip. Consequently, I hope you learned something too. I know I learned a lot on the trip.<br />
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I'm just giving you a heads up: I plan on posting a whole bunch more in the next few weeks, and I hope you all look forward to it like I am. I plan on getting back to the original purpose of this blog. With my mistakes behind me, I'm not looking back. Let's trudge on ahead together and live this life like Jesus wanted us to life it!<br />
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Following His Call,<br />
Adam<br />
Philippians 3:13-14Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1359639792481981363.post-63833606850295620492011-08-30T20:11:00.000-05:002011-08-30T20:11:19.667-05:00Day 32<div class="MsoNormal"><br />
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Day 32: Shepherd’s Field, Herodian, Hebron, Tombs of the Patriarch</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Hey everyone!</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHKChz6NYECGNUowlYP3TIKGgDOqUbNZy81iWEysH7-HXk8N3YWj7uaHvgAcCkHQYknkZJq3fUsLV29zqprj53L05yg2GmbOCg5ngHmTjSUij2CO8e6O979GT6AcfN4PByl5m-HlleVLY/s1600/DSCF5164.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhHKChz6NYECGNUowlYP3TIKGgDOqUbNZy81iWEysH7-HXk8N3YWj7uaHvgAcCkHQYknkZJq3fUsLV29zqprj53L05yg2GmbOCg5ngHmTjSUij2CO8e6O979GT6AcfN4PByl5m-HlleVLY/s320/DSCF5164.JPG" width="240" /></a>Today was our final day of touring. It was a bittersweet moment, because part of me wanted to soak it all up because it was our last day and make the most of it. The other half of me was saying, “Really? One more day? I can’t wait for this to be over. I have had five weeks of this already and I am ready to go home.” But in the end, the day turned out alright. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">The day started out weird, with us waiting a half hour to make our bus arrangements for tomorrow. Miscommunication and confusion prevented us from solving it very quickly. We finally made it on the bus and departed for the fields. Our tour guide, while very nice and well meaning, was a devout Christian and gave us the stereotypical Christian tour, talking about how these were the actual fields the shepherds were in and these caves were exactly the caves the shepherds stayed in during Jesus’ time.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">He tried to give us four “proofs”, but they just turned out to be (1) this land is Judah, (2) Jesus was here, (3) the Bible says so, and (4) tradition dictates this land is the land…. I am sorry, sir, but I don’t that word (“proof”) means what you think it means…. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXhFl6uY5S5zze-h61rfTmTUKlwDuT1_gTrCdrBzMP3v4Cgmq5K8H7eBwojK5daxaY01yucdXFo6ot_XWP0CX36QV3SNIM6Jxe8U_yUjIV_QwxcUF1V4RbOlUEQ7zs3fdWCYOe0YBPFyQ/s1600/DSCF5165.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXhFl6uY5S5zze-h61rfTmTUKlwDuT1_gTrCdrBzMP3v4Cgmq5K8H7eBwojK5daxaY01yucdXFo6ot_XWP0CX36QV3SNIM6Jxe8U_yUjIV_QwxcUF1V4RbOlUEQ7zs3fdWCYOe0YBPFyQ/s320/DSCF5165.JPG" width="240" /></a>We went to the Herodian where we found out that our tickets have expired, so we couldn’t get in. It was a small oversight on the behalf of our ticket holder, which frustrated us greatly. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Later that afternoon, we tried to get into the Russian Orthodox Church and they locked us out, saying this place was a place of prayer and not a museum, and slammed the door in our faces. That really urked me. What kind of signal does that send people who are not Christians, slamming the door in their faces and not letting them into the church? I just wonder what Jesus would have done…. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Despite these setbacks, we had a good day. We still visited Hebron and saw the tomb of the Patriarchs—the traditional site of the burial of Abraham, Isaac, Sarah, Leah, and Rebecca. The place was divided in half, half mosque, half synagogue. The Jews would not let us in on their side, but the Muslims let us in to see. It was interesting to see how both of these faiths, while so divided, still shared the same ancestry. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Afterwards we toured Hebron and shopped a bit in the local markets. We found out that Jewish settlers had come into Hebron in the 90’s and took over many sections of the land. Hebron is now a hot spot because of one specific event that will always live in the minds of the people here. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis6LC-zI_Wf7uozx8J9x_H2s6rNERoEy_lhf5zZ2KXZPXkvp23gLzOdO8tHR0mMrRQwt3SVXz0CRazVohcxaNca_boWSAD2cJ9QazsXqTb2azMx-3dcdAZkminP7sGgB9NAG3xzt7Uu7g/s1600/DSCF5237.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEis6LC-zI_Wf7uozx8J9x_H2s6rNERoEy_lhf5zZ2KXZPXkvp23gLzOdO8tHR0mMrRQwt3SVXz0CRazVohcxaNca_boWSAD2cJ9QazsXqTb2azMx-3dcdAZkminP7sGgB9NAG3xzt7Uu7g/s320/DSCF5237.JPG" width="240" /></a>In the late 90’s, one Jewish doctor settled in Hebron to try to make a living. After living there a while, he was fed up with all the Muslims living in the area, so he marched into the mosque that housed half of the tombs of the patriarchs and opened fire, killing around 20 people and injuring 80 more before the crowd swarmed him and killed him. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Immediately, the Israelis responded and set up defenses to keep their people safe before there were any repercussions. There were none, but the man who did the killing now has a tomb set up that is protected by the Israelis; it is like a shrine to the Jews here. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">A few years later, the second Intifada broke out, and it was very nasty in this area. Many people died. It set back the community for a few years. In the aftermath, Israel set up certain streets to protect their citizens, making “sanitary streets” that the Palestinians are not allowed to walk on, only the Jews can walk on. Consequently, some Palestinians cannot leave the front doors of their homes because they are on the street. They are forced to climb down a ladder out their back window to exit their house every day. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiownNnbYfKniG8W23fFnHJ1ZcJXi4_P4Rv4-2MBrL94wNvEZy_S6mfcBrAad6Niv2TZy-sqrwV7cuZeyjyWx4u2gBxjWs2fv-RMZabQy2s3TVBtOKM2MECebNhlfa8rcN6InsQUQHLZEU/s1600/DSCF5144.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiownNnbYfKniG8W23fFnHJ1ZcJXi4_P4Rv4-2MBrL94wNvEZy_S6mfcBrAad6Niv2TZy-sqrwV7cuZeyjyWx4u2gBxjWs2fv-RMZabQy2s3TVBtOKM2MECebNhlfa8rcN6InsQUQHLZEU/s320/DSCF5144.JPG" width="240" /></a>Continuing our walk, we stumbled into a market with huge tarps spread across all over. Our guide asked us what we thought the tarps were for. We answered, “Shade,” but he corrected us by telling us to look ontop of the tarps and seeing what is on top of them. Upon closer inspection, we saw large piles of trash piled up on top of the tarps. Our guide went onto explain that Jews have settled into many of the apartments in the area. Instead of depositing their trash like everyone else does, they feel it is their right to toss the trash out of the window onto the street below. The Palestinians walking by would get heaps of trash dumped on them daily, and because they are unable to do anything in retaliation, they erected the tarps to keep their merchandise and themselves safe.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">These are the conditions people live in over there. All of the things I have told you I did not make up. These are real events dealing with real people. I cannot be the judge for you to make a decision on who to support or what to believe; I leave that decision to you. I will just tell the facts like I see it from here on out. If you want my personal opinion, feel free to ask, and I will calmly explain it to you. Until then, I wish you the best and pray that God blesses you richly. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Following His Call, </div><div class="MsoNormal">Adam<br />
Romans 1:14</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15140401909214299529noreply@blogger.com0