Monday, March 14, 2011
Honestly, I've always seen myself as the young, arrogant, spunky kid you see in medieval movies who wants to be a knight. The kid follows the knights around all the time, getting stuff for them, trying to help out as much as he can. Then the time comes when the knight is struck down, and the boy is thrust into a position of responsibility with no idea what to do. He goes out onto the battlefield with armor too big for him, with a sword that is too heavy, and a shield he can barely lift. He has no combat experience, nothing but his passion and his brain to guide him.
Yet the boy fights. He gets knocked down frequently, but always manages to get back up. He swings his broadsword, trying to hit his enemies but instead accidentally hits his own fellow knights. After being knocked down for what seems like the thousandth time, the boy feels like giving up. He lies there in the mud, choking back tears, feeling that he let down his mentor.
In the midst of the battle, a man approaches dressed in all white, hand extended towards the boy. The boy looks up, tears in his eyes, as he stares at his mentor, the person he has devoted his life to serve. He feels so small, so upset, so unworthy of his mentor's attention. Climbing to his knees, the boy looks away from his Master, too ashamed to look up; he feels he has disappointed the one person he was trying to impress. The King bends down and gently picks up the boy, placing the sword back into the boy's hand. Bending down, the King whispers into the boys ear, "Keep going! Keep fighting the good fight! You are doing well!" Even though the boy feels horrible and keeps making mistakes, it is his passion that keeps him going; he wants to make his mentor proud! So he tries his hardest, does his best, he keeps fighting.
Oh, how I feel like that kid every day! I don't know what I am doing half the time, and I mess up on most things. Yet, I try my best. I don't always accurately represent God. In fact, most of the time I don't give an accurate view of who Jesus is. I am learning. I am growing. I am trying to find out really who I am and what is this life all about. I'm trying to find how God relates into all this. I'm trying to figure out how to interact with people, how to make friends and be a good friend. I'm trying to find out what I believe, working out different holes in my life. So I'm asking you to forgive me when I fail. Forgive me when I say the wrong thing. Forgive me when I go overboard talking about certain things. Forgive me when I am arrogant and prideful. I am trying my best, and stumbling the whole way. I'm still growing, I'm still learning. I just want to make Daddy proud.
Following His Call,
(2 Timothy 2:3)