Hey everyone!
Today I was the "Editor's Pick of the Day" on Bloggers. If you don't know what Bloggers is, it basically is a social networking site for people who blog. I noticed one of my friends was on it, so I thought I would join too, to try to get my blog spread around to more people.
While being the "Editor's Pick of the Day" sounds really cool and an honor, there are three people each day that are the "Editor's Pick." I have a feeling these things three are just chosen at random, so I'm not totally blown away about being on the front page of the website and having everyone see my blog. Still, I am totally humbled and grateful that other people are seeing my blog and reading it.
So far, I have noticed I have about fourteen of you all who are dedicated followers. I would hug and kiss you all if I could as a sign of thanks. Well, maybe not the kissing part. I am okay with kissing, but American society dictates that kissing is inappropriate behavior among certain people, so I will refrain. Oh, how that bugs me: our double standards in this nation! But I will save that rant for another blogpost....
I thought I would take this time to thank you all for following me and reading my blog. I can't express enough in words just how much you all mean to me, knowing that you are reading what I say and actually listening. It feels nice to be listened to and not taken out of context. It is nice to vent to people and feel loved and accepted by them. All of you have a very special place in my heart, and I thank you for being patient with me in the good times and bad.
Every comment you write makes me feel appreciated and accepted. All the encouragement thrown my way drives me on, wanting to to more. I hope you all feel blessed by what I write I as i am as blessed by what you write.
I thought I would also give some shout-outs to some of my favorite blogger friends. Besides Jon Acuff (who I follow rather religiously) and Ed Stetzer (who I recently started following), there are a few good friends of mine who have some pretty cool blogs.
My good friend and roommate, Ian Reed, has a blog called Excess Thought. I always enjoy his posts, even though recently dedicated more of his time to vlogging. You should follow him at I Am Slightly Awesome on YouTube. He's a pretty awesome guy.
Susan Horak, another GREAT friend of mine always has some amazingly powerful things to say at her blog, Searching for Susan. She is a sweet young woman--so real and lovable--who, in an attempt to discover herself, shares some helpful insights that impact all of us.
Jon Street and I go way back, and in his blog Word From the Street, he relates real life questions and problems we deal with every day and brings them to us in a new light. I always look forward to hearing his unique perspective, because oftentimes, he portrays something in a way I have never thought before.
The Journey has Just Begun belongs to my college friend and fellow comrade in mischief-making, Tiffany Najbart. Her blog revolves around the random musings in her head and the thoughts she experiences. Her way of writing always calms me down and reminds me to not take life so seriously all the time.
When one of my best friends moved to Alaska, I thought I would never see him again. Yet I still get to follow Kevin Lawson on his blog Kevin in Alaska. I really miss that kid. He writes about his living in America's last true frontier and makes me uber jealous for not being there with him.
Jill Overturf, one of my most favoritest people, talks about her church planting experiences as well as her new life in a new town in her blog Thoughts Above the Canopy. I always enjoy hearing stories from her about her adventures--and sometimes misadventures--of parenting and children's ministry.
My newest friend may be a little zealous, taking on two blogs at the same time. But I know Adam Swensen: he is a world changer and has the charisma to do it. In The Next Generation, he makes a plea for our generation to take a stand and do something in this world; to make a change and impact this world for Christ. He also is writing with two of his other friends in a blog that was just started called Singular Spectrum. I am excited to see how this one turns out. I am really happy at what I have read so far.
Last but certainly not least comes the wonderful blog of Deanna Leiber. As a Medieval History buff (and basically history buff in general) she writes in her blog Annales Historiae about really cool interesting stuff in history you may have never heard before. I always read it and walk away saying, "Huh... I never knew that before. That was really cool!"
I hope you all would support them as well as they support me. Again, I have said this a dozen times, but I love you all and I pray God blesses you very richly! I thank God for you all often. God bless!
Following His Call,
Adam
Philippians 1:3
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Meditation
Hey everyone!
Alright, I know Freefall was rather deep and serious, so I thought I would make this post somewhat lighter. But you know me, I can't just write a post without making some serious point. So I will wrap it all up in the end.
The other day we had to do a "Meditation Experiment" in my Hindu class. We sat there, following the professor's instructions as he led us through this exercise.He made sure to let us know that he was not asking us to participate in any religious experience... just an "empirical observational experiment". Right...
We started off by sitting in our chairs, feet flat on the floor, with our eyes closed. Then he asked us to put our hands up by our head, make fists, like we were about to lift weights above our head. He said that we would extend our arms above our heads, open our hands wide and take a huge breath in. After our hands were up, we were to "grab an invisible bar" above our heads and pull it down very quickly and let all our air out of our lungs. We followed his instructions, taking fifteen breaths that way in rapid order while doing Hindu-robics--or whatever he called it.
I couldn't help but envision how funny we all must have looked. I had to take a peek to see what we looked like. As we were pumping our arms up and down and breathing, I peeked one eye open and looked around and almost laughed out loud. We all looked do ridiculous! We honestly looked like some cult. I had to literally bite my lip to not laugh.
After our... exercise?... he told us to rest our hands on our thighs, palms up and just relax, breathing normally, and listen to the thoughts around us. So I did, and the thoughts that kept coming to my head was, "Oh my gosh! What if someone walked in while we were doing that and they just froze at the door and then slowly backed out as if they had just walked in the middle of a funeral?" I kept laughing at the hypothetical look on the imaginary person's face.
We did the exercise two more times after that. Each time it became increasingly difficult to keep myself from laughing. I'm pretty sure my neighbor noticed my exotic noises, but I didn't open my eyes to see if she was looking at me weird. I know, I am immature about these things.
Our instructor warned us afterwards not to do this breathing exercise in excess; that it could draw too much energy into the body and we could overdose by doing it. Yes, he was totally serious. I couldn't help but laugh at that. I learned later that this type of yoga is used for seniors because of its low impact on the body (hence the ridiculous pictures on this post).
After our breathing for the third time, he just had us sit there without moving as he helped direct and focus our thoughts. I really don't know what he said after "relax" because that is exactly where my body went. I'm one of those people who, once their body is in motion it remains in motion, otherwise when I stop I stop. That is why reading is so hard for me: I tend to fall asleep because my body is not moving. Each time I stop moving to rest, my body thinks it is rest-time, so I start to conk out.
So you can imagine what happened when he told me to sit totally still and not move with my eyes closed... Yep, I totally fell asleep. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the point of the exercise, but I did. Thankfully, I realized I had fallen asleep about half way through, because I woke up with a start and opened my eyes to see everyone around the room still eyes closed listening to the professor.
I won't lie that I was tempted in the moment to just scream at the top of my lungs and scare the living daylights out of everyone, including the teacher... but I didn't want and F for the course, so.... yeah....
I closed my eyes again and decided to go into my own meditation world. I started to pay to God. I discovered a new appreciation for meditation. It felt like I was totally alone with God in this empty room with no sound or anything: just me and him. In the quiet space inside my thoughts, I could be totally open and honest and only He would know what was said. I could talk to Him totally freely without distraction or fear of anyone finding out. So I did. I told Him my worries and prayed for my friends in that moment.
I had forgotten how cool meditating on scripture and prayer was. I need to start doing that more often... just not by breathing like a frightened, hyperventilating bank robber. I will try to make time each day to just go into my meditation bubble and talk to God, just me and Him. You should try it sometime too. It's amazing what you will hear when you quiet your mind down enough to where you can actually listen.
Following His Call,
Adam
2 Timothy 2:7
Alright, I know Freefall was rather deep and serious, so I thought I would make this post somewhat lighter. But you know me, I can't just write a post without making some serious point. So I will wrap it all up in the end.
The other day we had to do a "Meditation Experiment" in my Hindu class. We sat there, following the professor's instructions as he led us through this exercise.He made sure to let us know that he was not asking us to participate in any religious experience... just an "empirical observational experiment". Right...
We started off by sitting in our chairs, feet flat on the floor, with our eyes closed. Then he asked us to put our hands up by our head, make fists, like we were about to lift weights above our head. He said that we would extend our arms above our heads, open our hands wide and take a huge breath in. After our hands were up, we were to "grab an invisible bar" above our heads and pull it down very quickly and let all our air out of our lungs. We followed his instructions, taking fifteen breaths that way in rapid order while doing Hindu-robics--or whatever he called it.I couldn't help but envision how funny we all must have looked. I had to take a peek to see what we looked like. As we were pumping our arms up and down and breathing, I peeked one eye open and looked around and almost laughed out loud. We all looked do ridiculous! We honestly looked like some cult. I had to literally bite my lip to not laugh.
After our... exercise?... he told us to rest our hands on our thighs, palms up and just relax, breathing normally, and listen to the thoughts around us. So I did, and the thoughts that kept coming to my head was, "Oh my gosh! What if someone walked in while we were doing that and they just froze at the door and then slowly backed out as if they had just walked in the middle of a funeral?" I kept laughing at the hypothetical look on the imaginary person's face.
We did the exercise two more times after that. Each time it became increasingly difficult to keep myself from laughing. I'm pretty sure my neighbor noticed my exotic noises, but I didn't open my eyes to see if she was looking at me weird. I know, I am immature about these things.Our instructor warned us afterwards not to do this breathing exercise in excess; that it could draw too much energy into the body and we could overdose by doing it. Yes, he was totally serious. I couldn't help but laugh at that. I learned later that this type of yoga is used for seniors because of its low impact on the body (hence the ridiculous pictures on this post).
After our breathing for the third time, he just had us sit there without moving as he helped direct and focus our thoughts. I really don't know what he said after "relax" because that is exactly where my body went. I'm one of those people who, once their body is in motion it remains in motion, otherwise when I stop I stop. That is why reading is so hard for me: I tend to fall asleep because my body is not moving. Each time I stop moving to rest, my body thinks it is rest-time, so I start to conk out.
So you can imagine what happened when he told me to sit totally still and not move with my eyes closed... Yep, I totally fell asleep. I'm pretty sure that wasn't the point of the exercise, but I did. Thankfully, I realized I had fallen asleep about half way through, because I woke up with a start and opened my eyes to see everyone around the room still eyes closed listening to the professor.
I won't lie that I was tempted in the moment to just scream at the top of my lungs and scare the living daylights out of everyone, including the teacher... but I didn't want and F for the course, so.... yeah....
I closed my eyes again and decided to go into my own meditation world. I started to pay to God. I discovered a new appreciation for meditation. It felt like I was totally alone with God in this empty room with no sound or anything: just me and him. In the quiet space inside my thoughts, I could be totally open and honest and only He would know what was said. I could talk to Him totally freely without distraction or fear of anyone finding out. So I did. I told Him my worries and prayed for my friends in that moment.
I had forgotten how cool meditating on scripture and prayer was. I need to start doing that more often... just not by breathing like a frightened, hyperventilating bank robber. I will try to make time each day to just go into my meditation bubble and talk to God, just me and Him. You should try it sometime too. It's amazing what you will hear when you quiet your mind down enough to where you can actually listen.
Following His Call,
Adam
2 Timothy 2:7
Freefall
Hey everyone!
I thought I would share with you a dream I had last night and the lessons I learned from it.
____________________________________________
I was at a party, for what reason, I don't know. (Does one ever know the purpose of stuff like this in a dream?) At one point, one of my friend's parents asked me to go get something from the convenience store down the street. I agreed and grabbed my keys, heading to the door. After being periodically stopped by random people who wanted to talk to me at the party, I made it out the door to my car.
It was twilight outside, and the house was about a mile away from the store. To get to the house I was at, you had to traverse down a long, dirt road which was about a ten miles long. Before you got to the house (about a quarter mile from the house) was a narrow, but very well constructed bridge that extended across a very deep and very wide ravine. The ravine cut very sharply into the rock and dropped about a two hundred feet. To prevent people from driving off the edge, large, four-foot high concrete dividers lined the sides of the bridge and along the road before getting to the bridge.
I got in the car and started down the road. I was playing my music and just enjoying the fading light of the sun. I crossed the bridge no problem, but as I crossed the bridge, I totally forgot the money to pay for the item. I slowed down, and did a three point turn on the small country road.
Trees and thick brush was on each side of the road, and as I backed up, I heard something grate along the bottom of my car. I winced, but I was already running late. Since the car seemed to be running normal, I continued on. As I straightened the car out and turned back towards the bridge, I sped up to the normal speed limit. Once I reached about 30 mph, the car started to rattle. I pressed the brake, but I didn't feel it working. I pressed harder, and it wasn't responding. I took my eyes from the road for a second to glance down to see if the pedal was broken by my foot. When I glanced back up, I saw my car drifting to the side of the road, to the only gap in the concrete blocks. Apparently, people had moved one of the concrete blocks to hike down the ravine. I tried to swerve the car, but the steering wheel was locked up and wouldn't respond to me. I reached for the emergency brake, but it was already too late.
The car screamed past the barricade and I was airborne, falling two hundred feet to my death.
In the few moments before the car went airborne, I remember being totally alert and awake. I can't say I panicked, because that implies I froze and couldn't move. The opposite happened: I was alert; I was alive. I did everything in my power to fix the situation. I couldn't fix it. So as I flew of the cliff, I remember this single thought: Since I couldn't fix it, I accept my fate. I knew I would die. Yet, this immense peace flooded over me.
Everything slowed down. It was like I was removed from my body--but I wasn't. It was so real. It didn't feel like a dream. I felt like I was literally falling. I wasn't afraid to die; I was ready to go home to my Lord. Honestly. The first thing I prayed was, "God, I'm ready to go home. I just ask you end it quickly. Could you flip the car over so I land on my head and die quickly?"
My thoughts quickly turned to my friends and family. I saw my friend's and family's faces flash through my mind. As I fell, I could literally see them, like they were in front of me. I didn't have any regrets, but I felt like there was unfinished business. I felt there was still more I could do to help them. Above all, one thought was so solid in my mind: I wished I could tell them one final goodbye; I wish I could tell them how much I love them.
So I started praying for them. I asked, "God, could you please let them know just how much I love them? Could you please take care of them and protect them? Guide them through their life and keep them so close to you."
All of this only lasted about ten seconds. At the last moment, the car inverted to where I was face-first with the ground. I leaned forward, ready to take the blow. I closed my eyes and said, "Take me home...."
____________________________________________
I woke up before I hit. I sat up in bed thinking about what happened. I remembered my friends and family. The dream felt so real. I wasn't scared. I wasn't nervous. I didn't wake up in a cold sweat breathing hard. I just woke up.
I knew I hadn't died. I knew it was all a dream. But it still made me think. I thought about my friends and family and what they meant to me. I started to evaluate my own life: have I been the best friend/son/brother/boyfriend/citizen I could ever be? Have I been living like each day was my last?
The mantra of "Live like you are dying" has always been something I have tried to live by. Life is too short to be upset at people all the time. Life is too short to be critical and complain. Life is too short to hold grudges. Live your life. Live for what is right. Live for God. And remember to love. Love conquers all.
Following His Call,
Adam
1 Corinthians 13:13
I thought I would share with you a dream I had last night and the lessons I learned from it.
____________________________________________
I was at a party, for what reason, I don't know. (Does one ever know the purpose of stuff like this in a dream?) At one point, one of my friend's parents asked me to go get something from the convenience store down the street. I agreed and grabbed my keys, heading to the door. After being periodically stopped by random people who wanted to talk to me at the party, I made it out the door to my car.
It was twilight outside, and the house was about a mile away from the store. To get to the house I was at, you had to traverse down a long, dirt road which was about a ten miles long. Before you got to the house (about a quarter mile from the house) was a narrow, but very well constructed bridge that extended across a very deep and very wide ravine. The ravine cut very sharply into the rock and dropped about a two hundred feet. To prevent people from driving off the edge, large, four-foot high concrete dividers lined the sides of the bridge and along the road before getting to the bridge.
I got in the car and started down the road. I was playing my music and just enjoying the fading light of the sun. I crossed the bridge no problem, but as I crossed the bridge, I totally forgot the money to pay for the item. I slowed down, and did a three point turn on the small country road.Trees and thick brush was on each side of the road, and as I backed up, I heard something grate along the bottom of my car. I winced, but I was already running late. Since the car seemed to be running normal, I continued on. As I straightened the car out and turned back towards the bridge, I sped up to the normal speed limit. Once I reached about 30 mph, the car started to rattle. I pressed the brake, but I didn't feel it working. I pressed harder, and it wasn't responding. I took my eyes from the road for a second to glance down to see if the pedal was broken by my foot. When I glanced back up, I saw my car drifting to the side of the road, to the only gap in the concrete blocks. Apparently, people had moved one of the concrete blocks to hike down the ravine. I tried to swerve the car, but the steering wheel was locked up and wouldn't respond to me. I reached for the emergency brake, but it was already too late.
The car screamed past the barricade and I was airborne, falling two hundred feet to my death.
In the few moments before the car went airborne, I remember being totally alert and awake. I can't say I panicked, because that implies I froze and couldn't move. The opposite happened: I was alert; I was alive. I did everything in my power to fix the situation. I couldn't fix it. So as I flew of the cliff, I remember this single thought: Since I couldn't fix it, I accept my fate. I knew I would die. Yet, this immense peace flooded over me.
Everything slowed down. It was like I was removed from my body--but I wasn't. It was so real. It didn't feel like a dream. I felt like I was literally falling. I wasn't afraid to die; I was ready to go home to my Lord. Honestly. The first thing I prayed was, "God, I'm ready to go home. I just ask you end it quickly. Could you flip the car over so I land on my head and die quickly?"
My thoughts quickly turned to my friends and family. I saw my friend's and family's faces flash through my mind. As I fell, I could literally see them, like they were in front of me. I didn't have any regrets, but I felt like there was unfinished business. I felt there was still more I could do to help them. Above all, one thought was so solid in my mind: I wished I could tell them one final goodbye; I wish I could tell them how much I love them.
So I started praying for them. I asked, "God, could you please let them know just how much I love them? Could you please take care of them and protect them? Guide them through their life and keep them so close to you."
All of this only lasted about ten seconds. At the last moment, the car inverted to where I was face-first with the ground. I leaned forward, ready to take the blow. I closed my eyes and said, "Take me home...."
____________________________________________
I woke up before I hit. I sat up in bed thinking about what happened. I remembered my friends and family. The dream felt so real. I wasn't scared. I wasn't nervous. I didn't wake up in a cold sweat breathing hard. I just woke up.
I knew I hadn't died. I knew it was all a dream. But it still made me think. I thought about my friends and family and what they meant to me. I started to evaluate my own life: have I been the best friend/son/brother/boyfriend/citizen I could ever be? Have I been living like each day was my last?
The mantra of "Live like you are dying" has always been something I have tried to live by. Life is too short to be upset at people all the time. Life is too short to be critical and complain. Life is too short to hold grudges. Live your life. Live for what is right. Live for God. And remember to love. Love conquers all.
Following His Call,
Adam
1 Corinthians 13:13
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Reincarnation
Hey everyone!
I had an assignment for my Hinduism class to watch these two short documentaries on reincarnation. It really got me thinking, so I thought I would share it with you. Oh no! I can feel you all taking deep breaths from here, not me mention I can hear you stomachs tying in knots. But let's not freak out; I just want to share some conversation. So before I am crucified, please read this whole thing.
First off, let me state right out that I do not believe in reincarnation. (I could hear that sigh of relief too.) However, the facts presented offer some interesting dilemmas. What facts? Well, if you have the time and really want to see two particularly interesting stories, watch these videos that were assigned for my class and that will give you a good start. If not, then move on to the next paragraph and I will just assume you are giving me the benefit of the doubt saying that there are situations out there that we simply cannot explain.
I had an assignment for my Hinduism class to watch these two short documentaries on reincarnation. It really got me thinking, so I thought I would share it with you. Oh no! I can feel you all taking deep breaths from here, not me mention I can hear you stomachs tying in knots. But let's not freak out; I just want to share some conversation. So before I am crucified, please read this whole thing.
First off, let me state right out that I do not believe in reincarnation. (I could hear that sigh of relief too.) However, the facts presented offer some interesting dilemmas. What facts? Well, if you have the time and really want to see two particularly interesting stories, watch these videos that were assigned for my class and that will give you a good start. If not, then move on to the next paragraph and I will just assume you are giving me the benefit of the doubt saying that there are situations out there that we simply cannot explain.
If you watched the videos, what did you think? Interesting stuff, eh?
No, I am not going to start off bashing all of this and prove why it is all wrong. My experience working with people tells me that doing stuff like that is pointless and a waste of time and energy. Instead, I thought I would share with you my heart involving these things.
As a skeptic, every time I hear stories about aliens, ghosts, or anything paranormal, I always chalk it up to psychological states. As a psychology-guy, that's how I work. I'm not being mean, I just believe there are a lot of things that can be explained away through our minds.
However, this stuff really has me puzzled. I can't seem to rationalize this stuff away; the evidence seems too strong. Most people who experience reincarnation stories have a crisis of faith; what is true anymore? Our Western, Judeo-Christian culture has taught us we have one life and only one. You are born, you live, you die. That's it. "And just as each person is destined to die once and after that comes judgment." (Hebrews 9:27)
I'm not questioning that. I am not saying the Bible is wrong, and I never will. Again, I hit a roadblock where it seems like evidence contradicts Bible. So what do I do? I did the same thing most everyone should do when confronted with this type of situation: I prayed. Here is what God told me:
1) "Adam, what does My Word say?" He reminded me that I needed to get back to His Word more and focus on that and not all of the other crap that waste my time. The sense I got was not: "Adam, you need to get in My Word so you can use it to thump people and prove them wrong; use My Word to disprove all of this nonsense." That was not the message I got at all. This voice was loving and gentle, as if a Father was coaching me on what I should do next. The message was, in essence, "If you are living your life according to My Word and are applying it to your heart, then you don't have to worry about all of this extra nonsense." That is really what everything else apart from the Gospel of Jesus Christ is: nonsense. I will go as far to say that the rest of the Bible is nonsense if you don't read it through the lens of the cross and resurrection. Yeah... I went there...
2) "Adam, there is so much more going on in this world than you will ever know." No, that was not God saying: "Adam, reincarnation does exist." But it also was not Him saying, " I can't believe those people! Reincarnation is such a stupid idea!" I never pictured God saying that. The feeling I got from this basically was, "Why do you have to know everything, Adam? Why are you arguing over predestination or free-will? Why do you have to know exactly how the world ends? Would it make a difference if you knew every detail of Heaven? Because you can't comprehend it now anyway, so why try? Does knowing all the details of how life works change your salvation?" In the end, it doesn't. There are so many mysteries out there in the world that we will never understand in this life time; and that is okay. The mysteries are what make life fun.
What we need to do is be open to ideas like reincarnation, but always compare it to the Bible. We should not immediately shoot down ideas that are new to us. We should also not immediately accept everything we hear. God gave us brains to use, so we should use them. God gave us a Bible to guide our lives, and we should use it too.
It is okay to talk about this kind of thing. We should be educated on different ideas so we can, "in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect." (1 Peter 3:15) What if someone came up to you and asked about reincarnation and why you don't believe in it? If you tell them, "Because the Bible says it's wrong," you just lied because reincarnation is never anywhere in the Bible. Not to mention, if they believed in reincarnation, you just made the Bible their enemy. I'm pretty sure that God doesn't want the Bible to be an enemy to those He loves.
So what is my answer to reincarnation? What do I personally think of those videos above? I don't know. Is that a cop out? If you want it to be, sure. I know there is something going on there that goes beyond my level of knowledge. Whether it is brain imprinting, genetic memory, psychological encoding, or spiritual warfare. I am not smart enough to say. But I also am not shy to discuss it with people and get their views on it. All I know is the Truth I have been given. So I follow that.
Remember to guard you hearts, but keep your eyes and ears open. Be educated and learn new things, but always keep the cross at your core. Read the Bible and understand it, apply it to your life. When that happens, then you won't have to worry about these things like we talked about above.
So lets talk about them: What do you think about reincarnation? What did you think of those videos above?
Following His Call,
Adam
Psalm 119:105
Holy
Hey everyone!
My first experience of the holy came to me at a church camp. We were singing songs in worship after the sermon when all of the sudden I just felt this urge come over me. The pastor’s message was out of Isaiah chapter six and involved the vision Isaiah had of heaven. I believed that primed me for the similar experience I had next.
For some reason I felt overwhelmed, as if there was too much emotion in the room. The music possibly put me in the right mindset for this experience. I closed my eyes, and I suddenly felt so small and so inferior, like space and time literally split in front of me. It felt like I was in a different place. A wave of something… other… hit me. I couldn’t describe the feelings, but it made me fall to my knees and duck my head. I wasn’t fully afraid, but fear was present in my mind. I wasn’t overly euphoric either; I was at peace. A mixture of emotions flooded my mind: respect, contentment, compassion, humility, love; so much emotion made me bow down, my face to the ground.
As I lie there, the vision described in Isaiah chapter six filled my mind. I was in the throne room. The floor was tiled with large, pearly white and solid gold checkered squares. The room was indescribably large, yet at the same time did not feel large. I felt like I could walk over to the large pearly, Corinthian-style pillars that lined the “walls” of the room. For some reason I could not separate the walls from the floor and ceiling because there was no definite distinction between them.
I “looked” ahead and saw a large throne with two square pillars next to it, basins with coals suspended with gold hooks above them. As my eyes looked up the throne—which was simultaneously tall and distant, yet intimately close—seraphim flew around with two wings covering their face, two covering their feet, and two flying. For some reason I could not bring my eyes to the top of the throne, where I knew He—my God—was seated. As I tried to look up more, my eyes were suddenly diverted back down to the ground.
Again, a wave of the “other” feeling hit me. I ducked down once more and started crying out of the raw emotion hitting me. I looked up briefly again to see a majestic purple cloth descending from the throne, sweeping around the floor, as if being blown by some unknown wind.
The room began to shake and what seemed like lightning filled the room. Every time a “bolt” hit me, I was reminded of all the things I did wrong. I was both embarrassed and humbled at the touch of the “bolt. I didn’t want to look up. As I was lying there, suddenly I felt something soft touch my back and a wave of pure peace filled my body. It felt like everything was going to be okay; it felt a form of love that went beyond the physical and relational. This love, to this day, I cannot describe, but it gave me so much peace and security. I looked up to see the purple robe fall off my back and continue sweeping across the room.
The music died down and I slowly came out of the trance I was in. As I climbed to my feet, my mind was confused. Was what I experienced real? Was it a dream, a vision? Was it just my mind reacting to the message and the music? Was that God? To me, it did not matter what just happened. I did not care if people would not believe be or said I just hallucinated. I still vividly remember that vision to this day. The emotions I felt and the vision I saw was real enough for me. It spoke to me on a different level, a level no person had spoken to me ever before. No feeling on this world made me feel better than that experience, even with the feelings of shame and fear mixed in with the positive feelings. This experience forever altered my life; it was my first experience with pure holiness. From that day on, I dedicated myself to Christ and His teachings.
Based on that experience, holiness to me is a beautiful paradox. Paradoxes normally have a negative connotation and evoke confusion and dissonance in a person. However, these paradoxes describe something else entirely. Both sorrow and joy existed at the same time. I felt both anger and calm simultaneously. Parallel and intersecting with these feelings was, as I stated before, this feeling of the “other.” It was not something that I was familiar with, an emotion totally foreign, yet comforting and familiar. Most of the feelings intertwined with the feeling of the “other” I was familiar with, yet the feeling of the “other” was so foreign. The closest thing I can describe the “other” to is the feeling you get when someone is watching you or you feel someone else is in the room. Yet, this feeling was welcoming and lovely.
From my studies of Judeo-Christian culture, Judaism envisions their God as “the Other,” and that description seemed to make sense. The Jewish God was paradoxical: distant, yet intimately close. There was Elohim who created the world with all powerful might and YHWH, who walked in the garden with Adam and Eve. This Other, seemingly contradictory relationship is what I view as holy and consequently relates to my religion.
Holiness is not confined to an object or a person; it cannot be for it is entirely other. Since nothing material can gain sacredness, consequently it cannot lose sacredness. I would connect holiness to a deity, given that I believe in a higher power. Holiness is not something tangible, but an experience. It is not something that can be handled or given, it is something revealed.
Which brings an interesting point: Hebrews 10:10 states that “we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” To me, this holiness is not material, but spiritual. Our spiritual bodies have been made right and clean like His in order that we can experience the holy completely. Without Christ’s sacrifice, no one could experience the holy totally. In my personal experience, God reveals himself to certain people, it is not something we can control or experience on our own accord.
All in all, holiness can be described as a spiritual experience, revealed by God, which is indescribably other from the self yet paradoxically encompasses all of the emotions of the human experience. On one hand, the experience felt cannot be described with language and on the other hand, the experience enraptures all human emotions simultaneously: from fear to euphoria, from sorrow to contentment, from worry to compassion. God exposes this feeling to humans through revelation, an experience not achieved from one’s own purposes. Despite what people may say about my own experience, to me it was life-altering enough to where it still impacts my faith today.
I got to write this paper for my Hindu Religions class about "The Holy", so I thought I would share it with you. It is an academic essay, so remember to read it through that perspective, but I figured someone would find it interesting. Enjoy!
_____________________________________________
My first experience of the holy came to me at a church camp. We were singing songs in worship after the sermon when all of the sudden I just felt this urge come over me. The pastor’s message was out of Isaiah chapter six and involved the vision Isaiah had of heaven. I believed that primed me for the similar experience I had next.
For some reason I felt overwhelmed, as if there was too much emotion in the room. The music possibly put me in the right mindset for this experience. I closed my eyes, and I suddenly felt so small and so inferior, like space and time literally split in front of me. It felt like I was in a different place. A wave of something… other… hit me. I couldn’t describe the feelings, but it made me fall to my knees and duck my head. I wasn’t fully afraid, but fear was present in my mind. I wasn’t overly euphoric either; I was at peace. A mixture of emotions flooded my mind: respect, contentment, compassion, humility, love; so much emotion made me bow down, my face to the ground.
As I lie there, the vision described in Isaiah chapter six filled my mind. I was in the throne room. The floor was tiled with large, pearly white and solid gold checkered squares. The room was indescribably large, yet at the same time did not feel large. I felt like I could walk over to the large pearly, Corinthian-style pillars that lined the “walls” of the room. For some reason I could not separate the walls from the floor and ceiling because there was no definite distinction between them.
I “looked” ahead and saw a large throne with two square pillars next to it, basins with coals suspended with gold hooks above them. As my eyes looked up the throne—which was simultaneously tall and distant, yet intimately close—seraphim flew around with two wings covering their face, two covering their feet, and two flying. For some reason I could not bring my eyes to the top of the throne, where I knew He—my God—was seated. As I tried to look up more, my eyes were suddenly diverted back down to the ground.
Again, a wave of the “other” feeling hit me. I ducked down once more and started crying out of the raw emotion hitting me. I looked up briefly again to see a majestic purple cloth descending from the throne, sweeping around the floor, as if being blown by some unknown wind.
The room began to shake and what seemed like lightning filled the room. Every time a “bolt” hit me, I was reminded of all the things I did wrong. I was both embarrassed and humbled at the touch of the “bolt. I didn’t want to look up. As I was lying there, suddenly I felt something soft touch my back and a wave of pure peace filled my body. It felt like everything was going to be okay; it felt a form of love that went beyond the physical and relational. This love, to this day, I cannot describe, but it gave me so much peace and security. I looked up to see the purple robe fall off my back and continue sweeping across the room.
The music died down and I slowly came out of the trance I was in. As I climbed to my feet, my mind was confused. Was what I experienced real? Was it a dream, a vision? Was it just my mind reacting to the message and the music? Was that God? To me, it did not matter what just happened. I did not care if people would not believe be or said I just hallucinated. I still vividly remember that vision to this day. The emotions I felt and the vision I saw was real enough for me. It spoke to me on a different level, a level no person had spoken to me ever before. No feeling on this world made me feel better than that experience, even with the feelings of shame and fear mixed in with the positive feelings. This experience forever altered my life; it was my first experience with pure holiness. From that day on, I dedicated myself to Christ and His teachings.
Based on that experience, holiness to me is a beautiful paradox. Paradoxes normally have a negative connotation and evoke confusion and dissonance in a person. However, these paradoxes describe something else entirely. Both sorrow and joy existed at the same time. I felt both anger and calm simultaneously. Parallel and intersecting with these feelings was, as I stated before, this feeling of the “other.” It was not something that I was familiar with, an emotion totally foreign, yet comforting and familiar. Most of the feelings intertwined with the feeling of the “other” I was familiar with, yet the feeling of the “other” was so foreign. The closest thing I can describe the “other” to is the feeling you get when someone is watching you or you feel someone else is in the room. Yet, this feeling was welcoming and lovely.
From my studies of Judeo-Christian culture, Judaism envisions their God as “the Other,” and that description seemed to make sense. The Jewish God was paradoxical: distant, yet intimately close. There was Elohim who created the world with all powerful might and YHWH, who walked in the garden with Adam and Eve. This Other, seemingly contradictory relationship is what I view as holy and consequently relates to my religion.
Holiness is not confined to an object or a person; it cannot be for it is entirely other. Since nothing material can gain sacredness, consequently it cannot lose sacredness. I would connect holiness to a deity, given that I believe in a higher power. Holiness is not something tangible, but an experience. It is not something that can be handled or given, it is something revealed.
Which brings an interesting point: Hebrews 10:10 states that “we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” To me, this holiness is not material, but spiritual. Our spiritual bodies have been made right and clean like His in order that we can experience the holy completely. Without Christ’s sacrifice, no one could experience the holy totally. In my personal experience, God reveals himself to certain people, it is not something we can control or experience on our own accord.
All in all, holiness can be described as a spiritual experience, revealed by God, which is indescribably other from the self yet paradoxically encompasses all of the emotions of the human experience. On one hand, the experience felt cannot be described with language and on the other hand, the experience enraptures all human emotions simultaneously: from fear to euphoria, from sorrow to contentment, from worry to compassion. God exposes this feeling to humans through revelation, an experience not achieved from one’s own purposes. Despite what people may say about my own experience, to me it was life-altering enough to where it still impacts my faith today.
__________________________________________
Following His Call,
Adam
Hebrews 10:10
Monday, September 5, 2011
Childish
Hey everyone!
Its my senior year at college. For those of you who have been here before, you know it is truly a bittersweet time. On the one hand, I am thrilled and excited to be graduating (FINALLY! I mean, seventeen years of school?! I'm ready to be done. At least for a little while...). On the other hand, it is frightening to finally be totally out on your own. The real world is scary. I am just so rudely thrust out there and forced to be a real adult making real money and doing adult-like things. Sheesh!
But I still plan on holding onto my childish nature. I mean, come on, for those of you who know me, you know I am very childish at times. I am a child at heart, that is for sure. Some of you I may annoy to death at how childish and immature I am. Some of you may appreciate my goofiness because I break the tension or remind you to lighten up. There is one thing I do know: Jesus told us, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." (Matthew 18:3-4 NLT)
At the same time, I am realizing there is a huge difference from "becoming like a child" and "doing childish things." Paul tells us, "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 13:11 NLT). I am really realizing more and more what this verse means as I get older and am heading out on my own.
When I was in high school, I thought I was big and bad. I was a "young adult" and in many ways I expected to be treated like one (I know, very arrogant of me). I loved it when people called me "young man" or "sir" or "young adult." It made me feel important and older.
Now that I am in college and have been greatly humbled in many ways (I'm still not done being taught humility yet; God is still teaching me), I see things differently. I have been praying for humility for a long time, and God has been answering faithfully those prayers (however, I also believe we are never done learning humility; I look forward to all of the lessons God will be teaching me in the future). It is amazing how the opposite has occurred now: I prefer to be called "kid" or some other word diminishing my age. I'm not old by any stretch of the imagination (although I frequently make annoying comments like, "Man, I'm getting old."), but I still prefer to be called "kid."
I believe that is what I am--a kid, compared to the majority of the world. I still have so much to learn. People are so much wiser than I am. I don't know it all. I still make huge mistakes. I still screw up. I'm okay with making mistakes. I know I am still growing. In the mean time, I like being called "kid".
But being called "kid" doesn't mean I should still act like one. This is what it all boils down to: like I said before, there is a difference between "becoming like a child" and "doing childish things." It is a difference of thought, heart, and behavior. Our hearts should always be like children's: nonjudgmental, pure, innocent, loving, curious, compassionate, caring, etc.
Conversely, our behavior (for the most part) should be like adults. We should no longer waste hours of time playing with toys on the floor. We should no longer whine and complain when we don't get our way. We should not dress up and play pretend out in the yard by ourselves (because our neighbors will probably think we have finally lost it).
That is not to say we shouldn't have fun. There comes a time when we need to relax and we can revert back to our childhood and have fun. Especially if/when we have kids of our own. We should never lose that child-like wonder and fascination with the world. But we cannot keep those childish things at the expense of our life and jobs. I believe this is what Paul was referring to when he said, "I put away the childish things." There comes a point in our lives when we must grow up.
The battleground is our mind. Our mind is what can possess both the childish and the adult. We can enjoy our childlike wonder and still possess the mind of an adult. This is what Jesus was saying when He said, "become like little children." I am still learning this as I am getting older and venturing our into the real world.
I think I can best summarize my thoughts with an example of a girl named Laura:
Laura was homeschooled and raised by two loving Christian parents who always did what they thought was best for their daughter. While her life was far from perfect and their family never had much money, she always had everything she needed.
During her childhood, she would sit in front of the TV and watch hours of cartoons, inserting herself into the plots and stories of the shows she would watch. She also read religiously, inserting herself into the books she read and visualizing herself within those stories.
Laura was so creative, and thus created stories of her own. She would depict these stories to her friends in vivid detail and describe the stories for hours. Laura became great at verbalizing the intricate plot and images she saw in her head. It was no surprised when Laura confessed in high school that she wanted to be an author.
College came about, and Laura was blessed enough to receive a full ride. While at college, her creativity exploded, but sadly, her work ethic did not. She would sit or stand for hours, staring off into space, creating dozens of stories in her mind. Laura would
then call her friends and describe to them those stories. She would also go online and find new songs, movies, and television shows to watch to inspire her further. Venturing out from animation, she fell in love with science fiction television shows as well as superhero shows. Laura even involved herself in a role-playing game club to expand her characters and grab new ideas.
All this time, she would only occasionally write down her thoughts onto paper. With all her brilliant ideas, she never finished one book. Every time she would work on one book, she would get bored with it and jump onto another idea. Eventually, she decided that she would start small, and finish a short story first before she tackled any larger projects.
Summer rolled around after her junior year and she told herself the goal for that summer was to write a short story she had developed the past school year. Her mother offered to help her get a job, but she never took the time or effort to get a job that summer. Summer moved by very quickly, and when the time came for school to start, Laura had not written a single page. What had she done all summer? She watched movies, television shows, and listened to music. Laura would go on walks and just admire nature, creating even more ideas in her head. She thought about everything, analyzing it until it could not be analyzed any more. But she never did any work. All of it stayed locked up in her head.
Now Laura is a senior in college and in a few short months she will be released into the real world with no work experience, no job, and nothing but her creativity to fuel her. Sadly, Laura is still living in a dream world--the world of a child, full of imagination and creativity. While these are noble qualities, they have interfered with her ability to function sufficiently in the real world. When Laura hits graduation in May, she is going to be in a world of shock.
I can relate to Laura in so many ways (in fact, part of that narration I pulled directly from my personality). Laura needs to learn to hold onto her child-like creativity, wonder, and imagination while still learning to put away the childish things in order to become an adult and function in the real world.
The real world is scary, but also so wonderful. I have always seen it as the adventure: the Great Unknown, the Wild West, or "Space: the Final Frontier." I try to look optimistically at the future and look forward to what God has in store. Pray for me as I step forward and God directs me what to do next.
So what about you? Have you ever felt this way? Do you have a story about entering the real world?
Following His Call,
Adam
1 Corinthians 13:11
Its my senior year at college. For those of you who have been here before, you know it is truly a bittersweet time. On the one hand, I am thrilled and excited to be graduating (FINALLY! I mean, seventeen years of school?! I'm ready to be done. At least for a little while...). On the other hand, it is frightening to finally be totally out on your own. The real world is scary. I am just so rudely thrust out there and forced to be a real adult making real money and doing adult-like things. Sheesh!
But I still plan on holding onto my childish nature. I mean, come on, for those of you who know me, you know I am very childish at times. I am a child at heart, that is for sure. Some of you I may annoy to death at how childish and immature I am. Some of you may appreciate my goofiness because I break the tension or remind you to lighten up. There is one thing I do know: Jesus told us, "I tell you the truth, unless you turn from your sins and become like little children, you will never get into the Kingdom of Heaven. So anyone who becomes as humble as this little child is the greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven." (Matthew 18:3-4 NLT)
At the same time, I am realizing there is a huge difference from "becoming like a child" and "doing childish things." Paul tells us, "When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things." (1 Corinthians 13:11 NLT). I am really realizing more and more what this verse means as I get older and am heading out on my own.
When I was in high school, I thought I was big and bad. I was a "young adult" and in many ways I expected to be treated like one (I know, very arrogant of me). I loved it when people called me "young man" or "sir" or "young adult." It made me feel important and older.
Now that I am in college and have been greatly humbled in many ways (I'm still not done being taught humility yet; God is still teaching me), I see things differently. I have been praying for humility for a long time, and God has been answering faithfully those prayers (however, I also believe we are never done learning humility; I look forward to all of the lessons God will be teaching me in the future). It is amazing how the opposite has occurred now: I prefer to be called "kid" or some other word diminishing my age. I'm not old by any stretch of the imagination (although I frequently make annoying comments like, "Man, I'm getting old."), but I still prefer to be called "kid."
I believe that is what I am--a kid, compared to the majority of the world. I still have so much to learn. People are so much wiser than I am. I don't know it all. I still make huge mistakes. I still screw up. I'm okay with making mistakes. I know I am still growing. In the mean time, I like being called "kid".
But being called "kid" doesn't mean I should still act like one. This is what it all boils down to: like I said before, there is a difference between "becoming like a child" and "doing childish things." It is a difference of thought, heart, and behavior. Our hearts should always be like children's: nonjudgmental, pure, innocent, loving, curious, compassionate, caring, etc.Conversely, our behavior (for the most part) should be like adults. We should no longer waste hours of time playing with toys on the floor. We should no longer whine and complain when we don't get our way. We should not dress up and play pretend out in the yard by ourselves (because our neighbors will probably think we have finally lost it).
That is not to say we shouldn't have fun. There comes a time when we need to relax and we can revert back to our childhood and have fun. Especially if/when we have kids of our own. We should never lose that child-like wonder and fascination with the world. But we cannot keep those childish things at the expense of our life and jobs. I believe this is what Paul was referring to when he said, "I put away the childish things." There comes a point in our lives when we must grow up.
The battleground is our mind. Our mind is what can possess both the childish and the adult. We can enjoy our childlike wonder and still possess the mind of an adult. This is what Jesus was saying when He said, "become like little children." I am still learning this as I am getting older and venturing our into the real world.
I think I can best summarize my thoughts with an example of a girl named Laura:
Laura was homeschooled and raised by two loving Christian parents who always did what they thought was best for their daughter. While her life was far from perfect and their family never had much money, she always had everything she needed.
During her childhood, she would sit in front of the TV and watch hours of cartoons, inserting herself into the plots and stories of the shows she would watch. She also read religiously, inserting herself into the books she read and visualizing herself within those stories.
Laura was so creative, and thus created stories of her own. She would depict these stories to her friends in vivid detail and describe the stories for hours. Laura became great at verbalizing the intricate plot and images she saw in her head. It was no surprised when Laura confessed in high school that she wanted to be an author.
College came about, and Laura was blessed enough to receive a full ride. While at college, her creativity exploded, but sadly, her work ethic did not. She would sit or stand for hours, staring off into space, creating dozens of stories in her mind. Laura wouldthen call her friends and describe to them those stories. She would also go online and find new songs, movies, and television shows to watch to inspire her further. Venturing out from animation, she fell in love with science fiction television shows as well as superhero shows. Laura even involved herself in a role-playing game club to expand her characters and grab new ideas.
All this time, she would only occasionally write down her thoughts onto paper. With all her brilliant ideas, she never finished one book. Every time she would work on one book, she would get bored with it and jump onto another idea. Eventually, she decided that she would start small, and finish a short story first before she tackled any larger projects.
Summer rolled around after her junior year and she told herself the goal for that summer was to write a short story she had developed the past school year. Her mother offered to help her get a job, but she never took the time or effort to get a job that summer. Summer moved by very quickly, and when the time came for school to start, Laura had not written a single page. What had she done all summer? She watched movies, television shows, and listened to music. Laura would go on walks and just admire nature, creating even more ideas in her head. She thought about everything, analyzing it until it could not be analyzed any more. But she never did any work. All of it stayed locked up in her head.
Now Laura is a senior in college and in a few short months she will be released into the real world with no work experience, no job, and nothing but her creativity to fuel her. Sadly, Laura is still living in a dream world--the world of a child, full of imagination and creativity. While these are noble qualities, they have interfered with her ability to function sufficiently in the real world. When Laura hits graduation in May, she is going to be in a world of shock.
I can relate to Laura in so many ways (in fact, part of that narration I pulled directly from my personality). Laura needs to learn to hold onto her child-like creativity, wonder, and imagination while still learning to put away the childish things in order to become an adult and function in the real world.
The real world is scary, but also so wonderful. I have always seen it as the adventure: the Great Unknown, the Wild West, or "Space: the Final Frontier." I try to look optimistically at the future and look forward to what God has in store. Pray for me as I step forward and God directs me what to do next.
So what about you? Have you ever felt this way? Do you have a story about entering the real world?
Following His Call,
Adam
1 Corinthians 13:11
Restart
Hey everyone!
For those of you who are still with me, thank you for muscling through the past few months. They have been rough for me as I have been traveling. I haven't been able to post as much as I wanted exactly when I wanted, but I still managed. I promise to get back to the basics here once again very soon.
For those of you who are regular readers and followers of my blog, I want to apologize to you. My blog has not been fulfilling what its original purpose was as I outlined in my first blogpost. One of my mentors has brought to my attention how the past summer's posts on my travels haven't all been as straight to the point as my other posts have been. For that, I am sorry.
However, I hope that my travel journals have allowed you to learn more about me and who I am as a person. I hope you laughed, cried, and felt the frustration I felt along the trip. Consequently, I hope you learned something too. I know I learned a lot on the trip.
I'm just giving you a heads up: I plan on posting a whole bunch more in the next few weeks, and I hope you all look forward to it like I am. I plan on getting back to the original purpose of this blog. With my mistakes behind me, I'm not looking back. Let's trudge on ahead together and live this life like Jesus wanted us to life it!
Following His Call,
Adam
Philippians 3:13-14
For those of you who are still with me, thank you for muscling through the past few months. They have been rough for me as I have been traveling. I haven't been able to post as much as I wanted exactly when I wanted, but I still managed. I promise to get back to the basics here once again very soon.
For those of you who are regular readers and followers of my blog, I want to apologize to you. My blog has not been fulfilling what its original purpose was as I outlined in my first blogpost. One of my mentors has brought to my attention how the past summer's posts on my travels haven't all been as straight to the point as my other posts have been. For that, I am sorry.
However, I hope that my travel journals have allowed you to learn more about me and who I am as a person. I hope you laughed, cried, and felt the frustration I felt along the trip. Consequently, I hope you learned something too. I know I learned a lot on the trip.
I'm just giving you a heads up: I plan on posting a whole bunch more in the next few weeks, and I hope you all look forward to it like I am. I plan on getting back to the original purpose of this blog. With my mistakes behind me, I'm not looking back. Let's trudge on ahead together and live this life like Jesus wanted us to life it!
Following His Call,
Adam
Philippians 3:13-14
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