This is actually my second attempt to write this particular blogpost. This blog came to me as I was preparing for bed around 2AM a few mornings ago. Feeling compelled to write, I sat down at my computer, trying to access the internet to get my thoughts down before they left me. As soon as I sat down and clicked on the Chrome icon, the computer program I use to keep my eyes and thoughts safe (K-9 Web Protection) decided it was going to wig-out. No matter how many times I tried to fix the problem, K-9 would not respond, leaving me frustrated and angry. Eventually giving up, I headed to bed miffed.
After a busy weekend, I am finally able to sit down and compose. I thought through everything that has happened, mostly concerning this blog. I personally do not feel I am a great blogger or have any amazing insights to share, but I do enjoy verbalizing my thoughts and conversing with people in order to generate thoughts and discussions.
Conversely, I look at the blog post that had the most views: raking in at over 300 page-views as of now. The next largest viewed post only clocks in at 63 page-views. I start to wonder why the heck did this blog post become so popular? I then look at the demographics of who is viewing my blog, and the majority of those viewing that particular blog post are in India. I begin to wonder: Are these people legitimately reading this blog and enjoying it or are they reading it to make fun of it, much like "Friday" by Rebecca Black? I start to get worried about dumb things like this. It doesn't help that Satan keeps reminding me of my own inadequacies.
As I sat back and thought about it, I wondered if it was even worth it to keep blogging. Why was I blogging? What is the point of my blog? Do I blog to be heard? Do I blog to make a stand against something? Do I blog to just throw myself out into the world and hope people like me? Do I blog for selfish reasons so I would feel better about myself? Is it arrogance that guides my blog because I think I have all the answers?
After much thought, and after reading some of John Acuff's blogs (like "The #1 reason blogs die. (And how to make sure your blog doesn’t.)" and especially "Why your web traffic might not matter.") I had to say that the honest answer to all those questions are "No". So why do I blog?
I found that I started this to bring glory to God. Honestly. This is why I called it EDGE-X. God gave me this name and I am using this blog to praise Him. If it blesses people along the way, great! But my ultimate goal is not to please people; it is not about the statistics. Who cares if my blogs get 16 page-views or 300 page-views? Why does that matter?
Ultimately, the statistics can be harmful as well as helpful. They can help me to see what topics are popular and what people like and don't like. The statistics also encourage me when I see people from other countries reading them, people I may never meet this side of life. Yet I also become addicted to the statistics: How many page-views does this one have? How can I increase this one's page-views? Should I advertise it more? Should I talk up my blog so people will want to visit it more? Oh no, people didn't like this one as much so should I just delete it? I even went as far to read other people's blogs on how to increase the number of views on your blog site.
How stupid and selfish of me! Since when I become obsessed with what people think of me? I went back and looked at my very first post (EDGE-X) to remind me of why I started this. Man.... I'm glad God got a hold of me and talked me through this. I'm glad He aligned me back on course. Thanks God. You're awesome. :)
I guess my only questions for you today is: What in your life are you using to seek approval of others? Where do your "statistics" lie?
Following His Call,
(1 Corinthians 10:31)