I have a confession for you. Well, actually, I have a few confessions for you. But before I get to them, I have to give you some background.
It's obviously been a long time since I have written a blog. I have had several ideas in my head I have wanted to write about, and I have outlined some of them, but I have been too emotional to clearly write out the full posts. I have about six or seven blog ideas I have hashed out in outline form just waiting to be written, but for some reason the past few weeks, I have been over-run by emotions.
In order to get back into the swing of things, I am taking a break from some of my more serious concepts and trying to write some more fun-loving and light-hearted blogs to get me back into it. So here are my confessions:
I am addicted to blogs
I never really realized this was a "problem" until today. After going through my list of blogs I follow and opening up all the links in my browser in separate tabs so I could let them load and flip though them at my leisure, I realized the tabs on the top of my browser were too small to even read what each headline was about. It was at this particular moment that the thought occurred to me: I may be addicted to blogging. Oops. Oh well. Everyone has some addiction, at least mine is not harmful to me. I am actually learning a lot.
I am not that great of a blogger
Okay, before everyone starts thinking that I am knocking on myself and devaluing my writing ability, hear me out. (I already know some people reading this are going to be like, "Adam! You are a great writer! I love your blog! Don't hate on yourself like that!" Insert Charlie Brown adult: "Wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha-wha!") I do understand that people are nice and want to encourage me on this. I REALLY appreciate the encouragement, more than they will ever know. At the same time, since I read so many blogs, I just get overwhelmed by the beauty and eloquence of the other bloggers' writings and think, Wow... I wish I could write like that... So, while I may be a "good writer," as some people say, I'm not as good as other bloggers.
But that is okay! Hear me out here; I am not jealous of them in the slightest! (Alright, maybe just a little bit, but not enough to get angry or change what I am doing with my blog.) I love reading their stuff! I love basking in their awesomeness. It doesn't upset me in the slightest. I just live and learn. I won't try to emulate their writing styles or copy some of their themes, but I do learn more about the formula of writing from their blogs. All I want is to follow my plan as outlined in EDGE-X, my very first blog. I pray it blesses its readers and glorifies God in the process.
I am still have a lot to learn
I had a rather humbling moment to confess to you. I am still rather obsessed with statistics. I know I confessed that statistics weren't everything, but I won't lie, I haven't been writing as much because my blog has been getting a lot of traffic the past two months and I felt I didn't need to write anymore. I used to be all about numbers, but not anymore. I had a rather humbling experience that set me straight.
According to Goggle Analytics on blogger.com, my blog is currently sitting at 5,400 views, with my leading blogpost, Love, sitting at 3,110 views. The page views have been increasing exponentially over the past two months, and at first I was ecstatic! My blog is finally being recognized! People I don't even know from India and Germany are finally reading my blog! I am reaching out to people I have never even met before!
Then I realized what was happening in a moment of humility. People weren't looking at my blog, they were looking at the pictures on my blog and copying them off of my website for their own use. One look at the Referring URLs told me everything I needed to know. The most clicked link was a Google Image search for the word, "love" and the coffee mug with the cream in the shape of a heart image.
How dis-heart-ening (like the pun?)! It actually wasn't. Okay, I won't lie, it was disheartening at first, but then I got over it. I realized once and for all, it isn't about the statistics, it is about doing what God has for me to do. That is my plan this summer: to grow so much closer to God and share my heart on this blog about what He is teaching me. I hope you want to follow me along on the journey.
Following His Call,
(1 Corinthians 13:1)