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Thursday, January 6, 2011

Depths

Hey everyone!

I had another interesting dream the other night. But different from my last one (Ants: http://edge-x.blogspot.com/2010/11/ants.html), I didn't know what was going on until after.

I was walking down the beach with this older gentleman who could have been my dad. It wasn't my dad because he looked nothing like my dad, although his skin was dark like my dad's. He was a few inches taller than me, with short, dark brown hair and a dark brown goatee. He was of average build and wore a white shirt tucked into khaki pants with a brown belt. I don't really remember what I was wearing.

For a while, we walked down the beach, just talking about life and various arbitrary things I don't remember. We were alone on this beach, not a person for miles that we could see. In fact, there weren't even any buildings along the shore or boats at sea. As I looked down, there were not any footprints or any signs that anyone else had been on this beach but me and this gentleman (who I still cannot remember his name, if he even gave it).

After walking for a long while, I heard a voice call out from the ocean. I couldn't make out what it was saying, but it sounded high pitched and distant. Somewhat shocked, I stopped and looked. The man walked a few more steps before he too stopped and looked back at me. Following my gaze out in the ocean, he put his hands into his pockets and just stared, a neutral look on his face. I strained to see if anyone was out there, but I saw nothing.

"Huh...." I said, trailing off. I joined the man and we kept walking down the beach. A few minutes later, the same voiced called out again. Although I couldn't make out what it was saying, I looked immediately out at the ocean and took a few steps towards the waves, placing my hands above my eyes to see if anyone was out there.

"Did you hear that?" I asked the man, turning around to see him. He was staring off at the waves, scowling. He looked down to me and his expression softened into a small smile, but he said nothing.

I turned back around and strained to see. Finally, I saw a young girl in a blue dress swimming out in the middle of the waves. I couldn't hear what she was shouting, but I could tell she was yelling at me and motioning for me to go out to her. I started to head out to her, but before I could place my foot in the ocean, I felt a firm hand grab my arm and gently pull me back. I looked over my shoulder to see the gentleman with a concerned look on his face gently shaking his head "no".

"What's wrong?" I asked him as he let go of my arm. "Is something out there?" He said nothing. Just had a stern look on his face as he looked out at the ocean.

When I looked back out there again, I saw the girl swimming towards us. She seemed like she had given up trying to get me to come out to her. After a few minutes, she got into the shallows and started walking towards me. Surprisingly, she was not wet; her dress, her hair, everything, was totally dry. She looked at me and smile a big smile.

"What to play?" she asked in a high pitched voice.

"Sure..." I replied hesitantly. I looked at the man. He crossed his arms with a neutral look on his face. "What did you have in mind?" I asked her. "There is not much to do out here, and I'm not supposed to go out in the ocean." I glanced at the man and he gave a small smile back.

"Oh, thats sad..." she said, trailing off and walking away. "Because I just came from a HUGE boat full of awesome stuff!"

"What boat?" I asked, confused.

"That one!" she said excitedly, pointing at the horizon. And sure enough, there was a massive cruise liner in the middle of the ocean. I could tell by looking at it that it had an entire amusement park on top of it, full with a carousel and several roller coasters. My mouth dropped.

"How... how did that get there?" I asked in awe. I know it was not there just a few minutes before! One minute I looked at the ocean, I looked back at the girl, then looked where she was pointing and there it was!

"Oh, it's been there, silly!" she giggled. "Want to go with me and ride the coasters?"

Still stunned, I stared at the liner, taking everything in. This liner easily was several miles wide, and even several miles longer from stern to bow. Despite the strangeness of its mysterious appearance, I really wanted to go and ride the rides. If the liner had a amusement park on its deck, what other mysteries and wonders were beneath?

"Well, how will we get there?" I asked, my heart racing, excited to get on the deck and start looking around. "I can't swim there." I looked at the man again to see him staring at the liner with a look of both disgust and disappointment. I was confused.

"Oh! That's no problem!" she said cheerfully. "We can take one of their lifeboats!"

"Lifeboat?" I asked looking around, then looking at her. "Where?"

She sighed, and pointed. "There, silly! Open your eyes! I can show you so much if you will just open your eyes!"

I followed her finger, and sure enough, there was a small wooden canoe painted white, decorated with gold and light blue trim. Two white paddle stuck out from the sides. I just stared again at the mysterious appearance of the lifeboat. Was it there the whole time and I just missed it? What else am I missing? I looked down the beach again to see if I was missing anything else.

"So are you coming?" the girl asked, heading toward the boat. I started towards the boat, but hesitated. I looked at the man, who still had his arms crossed. He had a scowl on his face and was shaking his head "no". I was drawn. I really wanted to go on the ship. But I had been talking with this man all day. He knew me, I knew him. I didn't want to disappoint him. He seemed wise beyond his appearance, like I should just trust him.

I stood there for a full minute, looking at the ship, at the girl, then back to the man, going between the three in rapid succession at times. The man still was shaking his head, the girl was calling and beaconing me towards her, the rides were starting on the ship.

Just when I thought about heading back to the man, I started to hear the sounds of the amusement park growing louder. I moved my vision to the ship, and saw it much closer than it was before. I could see people on the ship, running back and forth, calling to each other, laughing, and screaming on the rides.

"So are you coming or not?" she asked, and crossed her arms as well, giving a spunky grin. "We'll only be there a few minutes and you can come back."

I gave in, I walked towards the canoe and started to climb in, careful not to touch the ocean as the man seemed to indicate. I looked towards him as I was climbing in the boat. The look of sorrow and pain on his face almost made me jump out then. I quickly looked away and sat down. "I will be right back!" I called to the man, careful not to look at him in the face again.

The girl pushed the canoe out into the waves and jumped in in one graceful motion. I reached for the oars and she quickly grabbed them and laughed, "I want to row!"

The waves seemed to die down as we headed towards the liner. Once we were about 50 yards out, I looked back on the shore, to see the man standing there, arms by his side. I couldn't make his face out well, but I could still see the look of pain on his face. I shivered a bit. I grabbed my arms, closed my eyes, and hung my head. As I opened my eyes, I saw there was a thin layer of water on the bottom of the boat. Huh... that wasn't there before.... I kept looking, and I noticed the water was getting deeper in the boat.

"Um," I said, starting to panic a bit, "I think you have a leak in your boat."

"Oh, that's nothing," she said, still rowing. She smiled a bit, and her face looked more pale and less attractive as she once was. I looked at her dress, and the ends were more frayed than they were before.

Panic rose to my chest and I stood up quickly, rocking the boat. I almost lost my balance and fell in, but after regaining my balance, I exclaimed, "This was a bad idea. I'm sorry, but I want to go back now!"

A twisted smile came over the girls face as she dropped the oars. They slid off the boat and into the water. I tried to reach for them, but I was too slow. "Its too late," she said, her voice slightly deeper. "You're mine now."

My heart sank as I realized the mistake I had made. Strangely, the boat still moved towards the liner. I turned around, and even more shocking was that the liner was no longer there. Nothing was there, just open ocean. Trying to remain calm, I shouted toward the shore, which was barely visible at this point.

"He can't hear you," she said, her voice suddenly more raspy. Sounded like an old woman. I looked at her to see her beautiful blue dress suddenly in rags and her blonde hair a wispy grey. He skin was pale and sunken in, like it hung off her bones. The entire time, the water kept rising in the boat. It was up to my mid shins now.

"Help!" I called. "Help! Help! HELP!" The water continued to rise and the boat went further and further away from the shore. The entire time, the woman was laughing this piercing, eerie laugh that cut straight to the bone.

Feeling helpless, I sat down and started to cry. The water continued to rise. It was over the top of the canoe now and up to my chest. I looked at the girl who was still laughing. She stood up, suddenly much taller than the girl who was there before, and stopped laughing. She still smiled this twisted smile looking down on me.

As the water came up my neck and onto my face, her voice suddenly became a deep bass and she laughed a deep bellow laugh that went right though me. "You're mine now..." was the last thing I heard before my head went completely underwater. The voice just made me feel totally helpless and dead.

I looked up through the water at the woman above me shimmering thought the distortion of the water.She did not sink with the boat as I did. Fallingl further from the surface, I realized I was stuck to the boat and I couldn't leave. I struggled to get free, but my eyes were fixed on the woman above me. She bent down, getting her face just inches from the water. She smiled again and said in a deep bass, "YOU"RE MINE!" and when her face broke the water, immediately it became a distored, black demonic looking creature looming closer and closer to me.

---------------

I woke up in a cold sweat right after that. I didn't see the resolution to the story. I didn't get to see if the man came in after me, which I imagine He did. If you didn't catch it, the man was Jesus, always looking after me, always with me and directing me, when I listen.

The the girl was Satan, always tempting me with illusions. The ocean was the vastness of sin, overwhelming and dangerous.

Here is the deal I learned from this. Don't even give in a bit: one little slip and it is too late. Sin is like the snowball effect: start down the path, and it grows and grows until it becomes an avalanche, consuming entire villages. Catch your sin early on before it is too late. Or, don't do it to begin with. That is the best option. Stop it now before you too are carried down to the depths...

Following His Call,
Adam
(Matthew 4:17)

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